Tuesday, April 19, 2016

it's all about balance...

It's a bit dreary this morning... In stark contrast to my mood!  I am energized and excited.

The energy probably comes from almost 10 full hours of sleep.  I've been fighting with my fibro a bit lately, yesterday the sheer exhaustion won.  And I am so thankful that I gave in and let it.  I feel like I could tackle the world right now.  Those days don't happen often enough to keep me happy.  It's hard to believe that I have been playing this balancing act for almost 20 years.  In May 2017, it will be a full twenty years.  I have discovered many, many ways to not let it control my life.  And long ago I gave up on big pharma being the solution.  It wasn't then, and it isn't now.

I know what will cause a flare, I also know when I am the reason for the flare.  I've felt it coming for weeks. My arms were my first signal, they started feeling heavy and weak.  Then the legs started to protest too, luckily I've been so determine to work on them lately that they have been the least of my issues lately - where usually they are my first signal.

This time, it's mostly exhaustion.  The someone pulled the plug on me and I have no power of my own stored kind of exhaustion.

Hubs and I were a bit proactive this time with the trip to Mansfield.  It may very well become my escape route.  The down time, beauty and relaxation were the perfect combination.  In fact we are heading down there again on May 1st.  Or at least that is my plan.  We'll see how up to crowds I am.  Flares often cause me to be quite sensitive to over stimulation.

And since we've been back I've been giving in to the little catnaps that will keep me feeling strong. We've also been focusing on the mental stuff.  As season changes slightly kick my butt also, we haven't really done much that will task me further.  Just enjoying life and being happy together. It's amazing how powerful a drug pure happiness is.

It will pass soon, I've learned a lot in the past 19 years.

My new focus on our food sources and what we are eating is helping too.  I can't say this mornings smoothie was one of my favorites.  It wasn't. I needed that extra few doses of anti-inflammatory fruits and veggies though.  This sudden change in the weather has all my trigger points riled up and the arthritis in my knee, well lets just say it has totally decided to join the party today.  Hubs needed it too!  He just got the diagnosis that we were expecting to hear on his hand, expecting and wanting are two very different things!  He's got some serious arthritis in two of the knuckles.  Getting old sure isn't for the weak! While I hate that he's hurting, it's good in a way.  I excel at taking care of others, so it will make it easier for me to remember to take care of me also.  Yep, I am all about that silver lining.

Shortly I will head in to work.  I have plenty to do this morning, but wanted a moment or two to center myself and unwind.  It's going to be a busy day, we are having our first ever round of Human Hungry Hippo's tonight!  I am so excited about it. I've seen so many video's on YouTube and each time it makes me laugh!  I feel like too many adults have lost the pure joy of playing.  Too often we forget the importance of laughter and giggles.  We are so serious and focused on being... well adults!  I am hoping that we have a good turn out.  I can hardly wait!  I have been gathering all the supplies for a couple of weeks.  I am going to see if I can get a few of our staff together to "practice" today.  See how many are brave enough to release their inner child...

My excitement might have caused me to also buy the supplies to play Yard Yahtzee, and I am seriously considering buying giant foam jacks.  Can you imagine?  One of the B's and I also discovered we have everything we need to play Land Marco Polo already on hand.  I feel a strong need to put these all into play. I need to hear laughter!

Life is hard enough, why make it harder by forgetting the important things? Stress kills people.  I know, there was a point it almost killed me.  I don't allow that to happen any more.  It's a choice.

I will do the hard work this morning.  During the middle of the day I will help one of my peers who is suddenly three staff people down, and this evening, well... we are going to play!

Anyone want to play?