Driving to work yesterday a song came on the radio. It's one of my new favorites, I have no idea why. Or at least I didn't until yesterday. It finally hit me.
I have always told Hubs when he says we should have gotten married 20 years ago, that it never would have worked. He was simply too wild back then. I would never have been able to handle it. Sure our mixed bag of kids would have been completely ours, but then they wouldn't be the wonderful people that they are.
As those words poured over me yesterday, it all clicked. I relate to the song, not because I got the first kiss. I relate because I am blessed enough to be the one that will get the last. I've never regretted Hubs past any more than I have regretted mine. I strongly feel that the roads we travel are meant to happen. And each step leads us to where we are going.
I was married before. So was Hubs. Someone else got the first kiss, someone else was responsible for dealing with the immaturity, the growing pains. I think my favorite line in the song is "I got the long haired hot head, she got the cool and steady hand".
I am blessed beyond words. When I was married before it wasn't terrible, I don't regret it. It was a time for growth and learning who I am as a person. There were many beautiful moments that shaped me as a person. Sadly, that boy and I were not ever meant to go long term. I pray that his wife feels thankful to me for dealing with that "long-haired hot head" and that she feels blessed to have that "cool and steady hand". Because I sure am thankful to the ones that shaped my dear Hubby.
So many situations are similar to ones my ex and I faced. The difference is the outcome. Because someone else did the hard work with both of us, we each got the diamond. We face any challenge, problem, or issue that comes our way as a team. We think it through, we give, we take, we decide what will work for us as a team. Neither of us insists on our way, we are both willing to give. We make decisions the same way.
Cross words are rare. When they occur they are quickly washed away. We both know how lucky and blessed we are.
Somewhere in the basement are odds and ends that link back to that boy I was married to. I have saved them for my kids, if they ever want them. Their "family" was truncated when they were young. Mostly because when it became time to have "the man" we both realized he wasn't the man I needed and I wasn't the woman that he needed. Too many times, people don't realize that. Not every marriage will go from A - Z. And sometimes that is the greatest gift you can give another. If my kids ever want those, they can have them. They are memories for them, I've moved way past them.
I am thankful for the women that shaped my man. I am thankful for the road that he traveled. I would take away the lumps and bumps if I could. No, I don't think I would. Because those lump, bumps and bruises created a kind, gentle, loving, caring, thoughtful, giving, amazing man. I am so thankful that his last wife was too blind to see the diamond in the rough standing right before her.
She is the one that missed out on someone that knows when to dry tears, when to give a hug, when to show up with a Bloody Mary or when nothing but a stiff double Black Jack Single barrel and coke will do. The silly guy that will do anything to make me smile and laugh. The man that never wants me to ever miss out on anything.
I sure don't dig too deeply into that line "she'll get the last"... I hate to think about it. I am a bit of a realist and I am well aware that one day I will get the last. I'm not in a hurry for it to get here. I feel a few more decades will need to pass.
I love when something finally makes sense... I love when a random song comes on my radio to remind me I am blessed. As my daughter often says she puts it out to the universe and her answers arrive. I feel the same way often...
Those ladies that got that first kiss and spent time with the boy... well... Their loss. The man was definitely worth waiting for!