Tuesday, June 10, 2014

A little sunshine daydreaming...

It’s almost unbelievable.  It’s June. In the Midwest and I am sitting outside enjoying the peace and quiet that break time affords.  I am in a two part training today and decided to pack my lunch and hope for nice weather.  I didn't expect the luxury of sitting outside on a slightly breezy 73 degree day.  Without rain, wearing jeans and a sweater set. 

I mean after all the Midwest is not known for its reasonable summer weather.  Usually by now it is hot, muggy and just plain suffocating.  Nothing that you want to plan much time outside in, at least not if you are me…

Yet, here I sit.  Soaking up a bit of non-people time in warmish rays of sunshine, munching on an assortment of veggies and thinking out loud – or at least in writing, sort of the perfect kind of me time.  It’s not that I am anti-social, it’s that I am one of those background kind of people.  The ones that like to blend in, and my sensory system can only take so much.  I just spent almost three hours in a room with around 50 people, multiple conversations, training, varying lights, uncomfortable chairs and swaying temperatures.  I need a bit of time to re-calibrate or I will be most unpleasant by the end of the day.

It’s kind of ironic as I sit here listening to the cars on the highway zipping along that I would find that peaceful.  But I do.

All these transitions that are going on, on so many fronts are crazy.  Or maybe I am.  During my down time, I am day dreaming about paint colors and what to keep and what to discard.  The rest of the time I am trying to focus on learning a new payroll system, a new operating system, and my ever evolving roll in aquatics.

For someone that craves the even flow of sameness, this is a bit overwhelming.  To keep my brain sane, I have really been getting lost in creating lately.  It doesn't matter the medium, I have really been focused on keeping order by creating.  My current craft bag holds a needlework project, a pair of socks and paint swatches.  I have a kitchen table and an old telephone table that I am currently involved with and there is as much paint on my hands as thread strings attached to my clothing. 

And a dining room set and hutch that are waiting in the wings, or technically my living room and hall way. As there is no way on earth that hutch is standing up in any room in my baby house.  I had a plan for the hutch, now… well… now I don’t.  I want to make sure the hutch and dining set complement each other.  And the room they will go into.  So now I am waiting.  We get the house keys on the 18th, after I compare color swatches I can start.

I can’t be the only person that can get themselves that turned around while escaping stress.  I have a deep seated need to be creative.  To surround myself with beauty that I have created the “old fashioned” way.  And when it feeds into my inborn thriftiness, well then it’s a bonus all around.  Normally I create a lot of things for others, rarely keeping many things for myself.  This year, I feel selfish.  This year, I need to complete things for us, to make a difference in mine and Hubby’s world.

I wonder if it’s all the changes, I wonder if it is feeling out of control where I am. Before I started working, Hubby and I spent many hours creating, building, crafting, together.  I have missed that time.  Until we started on all these projects for our new home, I didn't realize the intensity that I was missing them with.  I didn't realize how much I longed for those days.  Now something as simple as a few coats of poly-acrylic is something I want us to share together.  Insane I know.

We are a good team when we work together on a project, we've learned over the years to yield to the other’s strengths.  And even if we both get bull headed from time to time one of us ultimately concedes. For example, it is evidently of utmost importance to him that the underside edges of a table are painted (kitchen cabinets too), while I see no need (are you seriously expecting me to believe you are going to spend your time on my floor looking up to see if they are painted?) it really isn’t that important.  Does it drive me a bit batty, sure… My creative side doesn't like to get sidetracked by unneeded things.  But the reality is, it takes just a few minutes more and it seems to make him happy.  So… paint the underside edges… Problem solved.  By the way… I still don’t see a need for it…

I need to remind him to grab the boxes from my office today before he comes to get me. I might start packing up some things.  I am debating on it.  My boys and the girl get pretty darn stressed about changes like that, and with the loss of Z I don’t want to cause them any more stress.  Maybe I just drive myself crazy doing it all at the last minute.  I don’t know.

I haven’t moved in forever.  Never thought I would again…

Now there are boxes to pack, stuff to sort through and donate, so much to do on both sides of the river. So much… In hindsight… not sure my non-people time has helped me at all… just given me more to think about.

It's all good... I'm refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of the day!