It’s almost unbelievable.
It’s June. In the Midwest and I am sitting outside enjoying the peace
and quiet that break time affords. I am
in a two part training today and decided to pack my lunch and hope for nice
weather. I didn't expect the luxury of
sitting outside on a slightly breezy 73 degree day. Without rain, wearing jeans and a sweater
set.
I mean after all the Midwest is not known for its reasonable
summer weather. Usually by now it is
hot, muggy and just plain suffocating.
Nothing that you want to plan much time outside in, at least not if you
are me…
Yet, here I sit. Soaking
up a bit of non-people time in warmish rays of sunshine, munching on an
assortment of veggies and thinking out loud – or at least in writing, sort of
the perfect kind of me time. It’s not
that I am anti-social, it’s that I am one of those background kind of
people. The ones that like to blend in,
and my sensory system can only take so much.
I just spent almost three hours in a room with around 50 people,
multiple conversations, training, varying lights, uncomfortable chairs and
swaying temperatures. I need a bit of
time to re-calibrate or I will be most unpleasant by the end of the day.
It’s kind of ironic as I sit here listening to the cars on
the highway zipping along that I would find that peaceful. But I do.
All these transitions that are going on, on so many fronts
are crazy. Or maybe I am. During my down time, I am day dreaming about
paint colors and what to keep and what to discard. The rest of the time I am trying to focus on learning
a new payroll system, a new operating system, and my ever evolving roll in
aquatics.
For someone that craves the even flow of sameness, this is a
bit overwhelming. To keep my brain sane,
I have really been getting lost in creating lately. It doesn't matter the medium, I have really
been focused on keeping order by creating.
My current craft bag holds a needlework project, a pair of socks and
paint swatches. I have a kitchen table
and an old telephone table that I am currently involved with and there is as
much paint on my hands as thread strings attached to my clothing.
And a dining room set and hutch that are waiting in the
wings, or technically my living room and hall way. As there is no way on earth
that hutch is standing up in any room in my baby house. I had a plan for the hutch, now… well… now I
don’t. I want to make sure the hutch and
dining set complement each other. And
the room they will go into. So now I am
waiting. We get the house keys on the 18th,
after I compare color swatches I can start.
I can’t be the only person that can get themselves that
turned around while escaping stress. I
have a deep seated need to be creative.
To surround myself with beauty that I have created the “old fashioned”
way. And when it feeds into my inborn
thriftiness, well then it’s a bonus all around.
Normally I create a lot of things for others, rarely keeping many things
for myself. This year, I feel
selfish. This year, I need to complete
things for us, to make a difference in mine and Hubby’s world.
I wonder if it’s all the changes, I wonder if it is feeling
out of control where I am. Before I started working, Hubby and I spent many
hours creating, building, crafting, together.
I have missed that time. Until we
started on all these projects for our new home, I didn't realize the intensity
that I was missing them with. I didn't
realize how much I longed for those days.
Now something as simple as a few coats of poly-acrylic is something I
want us to share together. Insane I
know.
We are a good team when we work together on a project, we've
learned over the years to yield to the other’s strengths. And even if we both get bull headed from time
to time one of us ultimately concedes. For example, it is evidently of utmost
importance to him that the underside edges of a table are painted (kitchen
cabinets too), while I see no need (are you seriously expecting me to believe
you are going to spend your time on my floor looking up to see if they are
painted?) it really isn’t that important.
Does it drive me a bit batty, sure… My creative side doesn't like to get
sidetracked by unneeded things. But the
reality is, it takes just a few minutes more and it seems to make him
happy. So… paint the underside edges…
Problem solved. By the way… I still don’t
see a need for it…
I need to remind him to grab the boxes from my office today
before he comes to get me. I might start packing up some things. I am debating on it. My boys and the girl get pretty darn stressed
about changes like that, and with the loss of Z I don’t want to cause them any
more stress. Maybe I just drive myself
crazy doing it all at the last minute. I
don’t know.
I haven’t moved in forever.
Never thought I would again…
Now there are boxes to pack, stuff to sort through and
donate, so much to do on both sides of the river. So much… In hindsight… not
sure my non-people time has helped me at all… just given me more to think
about.
It's all good... I'm refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of the day!
No comments:
Post a Comment