Sunday, June 8, 2014

Working through the hurt...

How do you deal with pain and loss?  I will cry, until my eyes hurt and my heart feels like it will explode.  Then I will sit back and look at the remnants, feel that a part of me is gone forever and then I will plow forward keeping myself as busy as possible.  Until I fall out from exhaustion.  Now is no different.

After a couple of nightmares, waking up worried about the rest of my furbabies and my two legged ones (as a couple are on the road), drifting back into a fitful sleep a couple of times, I simply gave up.

I got up, took care of all the critters, found the camera and the coffee and headed downstairs. After starting a load of laundry, I sipped coffee and looked around at all the projects I want to do, need to do and have started.   And then... in typical devil chasing me, heart aching Belynda style... I jumped in.

The first project to get my attention was the table that I had painted yesterday.  It was going in my new front living room, but honestly, I am not sure that is my plan now.  I am still considering this decision.

It needed stained, I went with a nice cherry, I felt the kona was going to completely overwhelm the yellow.  And I wanted to warm it up. A quick coat of stain... and I was already looking for another project. I had to wait a few hours before I could wax it.

Sipping another cup of coffee... wheels turning, I pulled out Estella's table.  Ah, that beauty, she's been sitting there for a long time waiting for my attention.

Estella was our neighbor, she was amazing!  She would always crack me up when she would announce, as she headed to her car, I'm off to pick up the little old ladies and take them to buy groceries.  The fun part of that, she was in her 80's, they were in their 60's (at the oldest).  She was sparkle, energy and light.  She would tell me stories of her Albert.  He was her one and only.  He'd built her their house when they were a young couple. They'd loved each other and lived a beautiful life in that house.

Albert had been very sick and in the hospital as they neared their 50th wedding anniversary.  They had planned a huge party to celebrate that amazing milestone.  It didn't look like Albert would be coming home.  But love, well it has a way of making magic happen.  Albert came home. Albert and his beautiful Estella celebrated that remarkable day and ended it as they had ended most of their days, quietly alone.  Albert passed away that night.  Estella, treasured that memory.  She knew that he loved her enough to make it to that day.

The table that I am working on refinishing, is one I fell in love with.  She would sit at it, in her home that was built with love and work on so many beautiful quilts.  Have her meals.  She was so amazing.  She passed in her late 90's, still driving the old ladies, still quilting and cooking she finally got to join Albert finally.

My mom got the table and loved it for many years.  When she moved she no longer had room for it, and I asked if I could have it.

Hubby and I mended it's broken leg, and stripped off years of paint.  Albert made this table for Estella when they were newlyweds. It's simple and sweet, and incredibly well made.  And I've never had a place for her.

Today I pulled her out, and started working on it.  It will have white legs, and a cherry top.  The legs are painted, maybe tomorrow I will start distressing them and applying the paste wax.  I have started putting the polyurethane on the top. I love the way it looks.  I think I will end up putting 6 or 7 coats on it.  I can't wait to see it finished.

We pulled out a few more pieces that we have salvaged and saved.  Hubby and I wood glued another piece that was damaged.  It's going to look amazing....

The boys are bathed, a motorcycle ride happened, two meals cooked and all the laundry finished...

Did someone say bath?
So as I keep busy, working through sadness, at least we are making progress on the things that need done and we want done...

How do you work through sadness?