Thursday, June 5, 2014

Sometimes... life sucks!

Darn horoscope assured me that the blahs would be leaving today... that the clouds were going to clear... blah, blah, blah... if you can't trust your horoscope, what can you trust in this day and age?

I am still fighting with whatever this crud is, and frankly it is starting to wear me out.  I called my doctor's office today and I simply thought the receptionist was going to faint.  I haven't been to see them this much since I partially tore my Achilles tendon.  I don't like, nor do I as a general rule trust doctors.  But frankly none of the stuff that usually keeps me quite healthy despite having Fibro is working, so... and that darn horoscope... well evidently it lies too.

I can't believe the timing of all of this either.  There is simply so much going on, too much probably.  At home we are trying to move, at work - well there we may as well be.  We are updating and changing two major systems, and I play in both of them.  And trying to be a strong team player when all you can think about is laying your head on your pillow is not working very well.  I sure feel like I am letting so many people down.  And that is something I hate.

Then I came home tonight to a sick kitty.  He's the baby of the kitty family, not quite 12 yet.  I am sitting here with his sister kitty, they have the same mommy - she's just older by six months, watching him rest.  I didn't make it home and find him sick until after the vet closed.  And since he's just resting and doesn't seem to be in distress I am taking him to the vet when they open at 730 am.  I am so worried about my little boy.

I simply hate, and that is probably too tame of a word, the Emergency Vet Center.  I do not know a single person that has ever left there with a pet alive.  Me, my daughter, friends... NO ONE! Every time I have gone there I have left with a huge bill and an urn.  I can't even drive past the street it's on.  Yes, I understand that it is just the law of averages, or whatever else you might want to call it.  But frankly, if I can avoid it, I am.

I don't like people emergency rooms any better if that make it seem less cynical.  I get the premise, but too many times the emergency room doctors have missed something critical.  They have to be specialists in too many things just to make it through their shifts.  I am not blaming them, I am simply stating a fact.  They are brave, caring souls.  The sheer volume of work is inhumane.

Gee, hard to believe that I am really not in a bad mood isn't it?  I am just tired of feeling so beat up. I miss having energy, I miss not coughing.  Its been six weeks now, that's far too long.

Tomorrow I am going to take myself to the people doctor, maybe I can finally get something that is going to make this crud leave.  I am also going to take the kitty to the kitty doctor, and hopefully they can find something to make him feel better too.

This has not been a great day... it's been ugly and sluggish.  But the storm clouds are supposed to pass tonight... I can only pray right now.

Update... well today has pretty much sucked.  I wrote this last night, but didn't have the energy to post it.

Our little boy kitty is at the vet fighting for his life. If he makes it through the night he stands a great chance of being okay.  It was so hard to leave him there, shattered my heart.  Almost as badly as it shattered my heart to tell my son his condition. I am praying, it's all I can do.  The vet said there is nothing I could have done, nothing I could have changed or done different.  That doesn't make it better.

The day has sucked.  I only have 11 more hours until I can check on him.  11 LONG hours.  I would appreciate as many prayers as possible.

The trip to the people doctor was only marginally better... now they have decided I don't have bronchitis, because in six weeks we have treated me for a bacterial infection (hello antibiotics), bronchitis (hello steroids, cough medicine and inhalers), allergies (hello Allegra and Sudafed) and nothing has helped.  I have not gotten the least bit better, most annoying and irritating.

Today they decided I have Whooping Cough - seriously didn't know that was still an issue in the world today.  Guess I assumed vaccinated as a kid was all you need. Evidently wrong.  Loved the statement that it could take months to go away... WHAT?

Baby kitty fighting for his life, a doctor telling me that I was going to take even more medicines, including one to help with the pain from all the medicines.... Today has sucked...

I need to simply take it to God...