Oh Monday... why did you feel the need to intrude on my weekend? You are such a bully sometimes!
It's hard for Monday to arrive when your weekend has been awesome, it's so abrupt. Bullying it's way in and pushing Sunday out of the way. Hubby and I had such a great weekend. I am simply not ready to crawl out of this wonderful family based cocoon and move back into a world that includes so many people.
Almost a week on the west coast with my son and then this wonderful weekend that included my girls, well following that up simply feels harsh.
Hubby bought me a sign for the wall over my desk, it reads "never get too busy making a living that you forget to have a life". I think I have been very guilty of that for a long time. Slowing down these almost two weeks has given me time to think. Time to process.
For a long time I have known that "no" is not a standard word in my vocabulary. To the detriment of me and having a life worth living. I actually had to totally quit volunteering for a while, none, nothing. Because I had gotten so wrapped up in my inability to say no. I was the Pack Chairman, heavily involved in the PTSA, I was the "creative idiot" that put together the yearbook each year (and folks wonder why I don't scrapbook - do that for 5 years and see if you do), I was involved in the wives group and a few other things. It was at a point that I was worried it was an illness. Not only did I have an inability to say no to volunteer things, I was just as bad with my family and work.
I wore myself out, trying to be everything that everyone wanted me to be. I set myself up for a total melt down physically. Next thing I knew, I had become almost a hermit. Even now, I have few friends outside of work. When we do our annual campaign I realize that I have to work harder. I don't have relationships that are not work centered.
Being gone for almost two weeks, I realized how much the things I value have been pushed aside. Do you do that? It's feeling like an illness again. I was going to leave a bit early on Friday, I had not even been back two and a half days at work and already was over 20 hours at lunch time. I thought I might head home by 3:30 or 4:00, make a nice dinner for my family, enjoy some time with my Hubby and Grand Baby... That didn't happen. There was a major mailing that had to go out... Hubby, Grand Baby, myself and one of my co-workers ended up sitting there for hours taking care of it, as 4:00 turned into 5:00 and then 5:30 pm those words were ringing in my head.
I never mind working hard, I will give any job my all. I need to figure out a balance. I need to find a way to make the ends meet in the middle and not feel like a gumby doll in the middle being pulled in too many directions at once.
I can't be the only person that struggles with this...