Okay, sort of. I've decided this week is going to be the finish up projects week. I need to get the skirt finished for my niece, I have a couple of repair quilt projects to work on and I would like to finish up my "family quilt". Of course I will find time to work on the sweater that I am currently obsessed with.
As I am moving into the cooler months, when I become obsessed with creating while the cold rages outside, I want to start with a clear plate. I don't want to owe anyone a project. Normally this is the start of my personal Santa's workshop period. I've come to a few conclusions over the course of the past few years. And this year, will be very different.
I've struggled hard with how commercialized the holidays have become. How ritualistic. I've actually agonized over it a lot. I don't want to spend hours opening gifts that will be forgotten before the end of the day and even more hours creating and wrapping gifts that will never be treasured as I day dream while making them. It isn't because the recipient is ungrateful, it's because this is a very different time in our world.
While I sit for hours creating treasures, I have visions of little house on the prairie dancing in my head. I imagine Laura being so grateful for the warm hat and mittens, and Mary cherishing the sweater. I see Ma wrapping herself in the quilt... you get the picture right?
The reality of our world today, is that if people want something, they buy it. "Things" are simply that. For years my sisters and I have debated about when to stop the insanity. Someone always has hurt feelings or dismay, each of us at different times has been the stumbling block. All the while our own families have grown and honestly everyone is overwhelmed with stuff.
My kids have repeatedly told me to stop buying them gifts, that they have no need for the things and no where to store them. My gut felt horribly like that being a bad mom. My folks put huge emphasis on Christmas gifts.
This year is going to be very different. I'm not anticipating any of the kids being around at Christmas. They will be busy making memories, as they should. I am not going to spend hundreds of dollars on things to find in yard sales or donation piles.
I am going to enjoy this season of life. The must do's are going to be replaced by the want to's. I will no doubt make Hubs and I our favorite cookies. I will insure that each of our children has something small that will let them know we are thinking of them and love them very much. But I fully intend to immerse myself in celebrating the season not the shopping.
This fall and winter will find me finally completing projects that have been in my to do pile for far too long. I have many things that I have longed to make for myself, but felt selfish for doing so. I don't want to do that any longer. Making a pair of socks and a sweater for me felt amazing. I am anxious to finish the one I am working on now and can already envision the yarn of the one that will follow, and the next if I'm being honest. Because I already have the yarn, it's been sitting silently by, waiting for me to finally have the time and attention to give to it.
I'm learning that a lot of what we have been programmed to think, to believe, is simply not truth. There is no area of our lives that isn't tainted. I feel like I'm healing from it, albeit slowly. We are conditioned and programmed in many areas. I'm fairly positive it is no where in the bible that we should spend ourselves into bankruptcy to provide a Christmas season. I'm also sure that many of the other things we have been taught, encouraged to believe and forced to observe have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas.
I'm going through a process in life, a process that is painful and abundant at the same time. No one wants to see that they have been subjected to falsehoods at every turn for the majority of their lives. No one wants to believe that they have been duped. Sadly, more and more is making sense. And sadly is probably not the word I want, maybe profoundly, because I am not sad, I am relieved.
Maybe at some point we will all return to those Christmas's of old, where the time spent with family and friends gathered near the fireplace laughing, talking, playing games or even music will return. Where the joy of sharing a great meal prepared by many hands will have center stage. Where there is a meaningful gift for your loved ones, not piles and piles of stuff.
That is the season that I am leading towards this year. It might just be Hubs and I, and of course the pups, but it will be meaning filled. I don't intend to follow any doctrine, I will still honor God in the way that is true to my heart, I will celebrate the gift of his son, but I am not going to follow the mass media induced shopping and buying insanity.
I know it is an odd topic as I sit here in the beauty of this early fall morning, but my heart really felt that it needed to be written down. I should probably be sitting here thinking of making healthy stews and raking leaves. Yup that tree out front, the first to shed it's leaves every year has already started to drop them at a frantic rate.
Soon it will be time to put the garden to bed for the winter... oh will that be sad, yet it will immediately start my day dreaming of next years garden. Today as I make a hearty veggie stew, I will be putting the last of my green beans and most of my carrots in it. I might even add a pepper or two and definitely I will dice up the tomatoes that are still waiting for me to use them.
These simple things are bringing me great joy and peace. They are what is allowing me to step out of this system that has been created for us. The one where the more we desire, the more we spend, the more someone else and the governments profit. It is moving me mentally and emotionally to a simpler time. I had known it was out there, for a very long time, I just couldn't find the will to break free and chase it. Now that I have, I struggle to find the will to participate in that world. The Amish, Mennonites and Quakers might seem extreme to some, to me... I think they were spot on all along.
The joy that comes from working hard for what you personally need out of life is indescribable. Will I ever step completely out of this world that we are being pressured and forced to participate in, doubtful. I will still continue to need to find a way to co-exist.
I can't be the only one feeling this need to disconnect from so much of our reality. Am I? I don't think I am, as there are many in my personal tribe that are very much like me. But I definitely wonder if we are the minority. Yesterday, Italy elected a leader that said "God, country and family"... it appears a pendulum is swinging. Sweden did basically the same.
Well, while that pendulum is swinging, this girl needs to simply swing on the pendulum of season changes and get her home prepared to welcome the coming season. Be well...
love and prayers
Good one! 381+
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