I'm struggling with it. Hard. He was almost 7 years younger than I am, I shouldn't be going to memorialize him. Yet, here we are. Too many are leaving this earth plane way too young. I feel like every time I blink someone else in the rich and famous column has died suddenly or unexpectedly. I have far too many friends battling cancers and other illnesses. This morning I saw a prayer request pop up in our alumni group, I didn't know which classmate was seriously ill, but I stopped to pray just the same.
A few hours later a dear friend reached out to let me know who it was. I am sure that most of my classmates don't remember me. More than likely they remember the guys I dated, the few gals I hung out with. I wasn't anymore of an extrovert as a younger person than I am now. In fact, I was probably far less. I remember most of them, some I have to struggle with, but that's just me. I have never been someone that can remember things easily. If you are retained we either had an incredible relationship or a devastating one. You impacted my life strongly in any case. Yet when I see a picture or hear a name snippets of my life start to return.
My friend shared with me that a couple of friends were rallying around and spending time being there with our friend that is sick. In an odd way that filled my heart with a sense of peace. To know that regardless of time, there were still long time friends that were willing and able to stop their lives for a moment and be present when needed.
I reached out to the friend needing prayers. I sent up a few more before I did. I am sending loving energy and light. I am praying for so many. I'm weary of the death and illnesses that seem to be running rampant. I'm weary and pained at the number of people hurting. I feel like this road is getting longer and bumpier by the moment.
We paused for a moment this afternoon, stepped away from the overwhelming feelings. Hubs and I took our babies for a short hike down the road, it's a sunny day, just bitterly cold. When you are a puppy those things don't matter. They are exploring their first spring, full of wonder and curiosity. While we were walking and enjoying their adventures, I was looking around myself. I try to see things through their little eyes. Watching them cringe a bit when the hawk screeched, seeing their confusion when the woodpecker was pounding away invisibly in the branches above. The perplexed little looks as the tiny purple butterfly swept past. Watching them sniffing at everything in sight. Thankful that they missed the little nope rope that was wiggling along the sidewalk - we don't do sticks that wiggle - questioning what it was doing trying to sun itself in the coldness of the day.
In the midst of all this pain and heartache it was healing to spend time in the sunshine. To soak in the wonder and remember how trivial we humans are. To also have that time to reflect, to offer even more prayers and to question the reason for the suffering.
I pray my classmate hits a turning point and begins to recover quickly. I am one of those crazy people that will encourage the power of positive self-thoughts, I am hope he is focusing all his energy on healing his body. On overcoming the illnesses and challenges that are part of his current reality. I will light a healing candle and meditate on him before going to sleep tonight.
I have friends struggling to shake illnesses of all kinds. Others recovering from major surgeries. It's just so much lately.
I'm thankful for the happy smiling pictures of my great nephew, he's having a tough go of it right now. Can you imagine the heartache for his parents that they are currently unable to lift up their baby and hold and comfort him? I can't. Yet every picture I see, his sweet eyes are sparkling and he has a huge smile on his face. He's a little guy in a rough way, but he is spreading hope and light to everyone around him.
Life is tough lately folks. As we struggle through all of the challenges, I hope that I am able to offer comfort and hope to those around me.
Well... I've got to go and get ready to go and celebrate a life well lived and ended far too soon!
love and peace...
No comments:
Post a Comment