a hard nut to crack...

Was it only yesterday that I felt strongly compelled to talk about fear?  No even 24 hours?  Yesterday we found out that one of my family members has been hospitalized with the virus. The same family member has received both of their shots. I am praying hard. I am questioning so much.  I had it in January, I was hospitalized for pneumonia connected to it. I understand how it makes you feel, how scary the sealed rooms they put you in feel, how frightening the isolation and loneliness is, I understand all of it.  Yes, each persons journey with it is different. I am praying from a place of understanding. 

My understanding stops when the bullying kicks in. I am so tired of bullying and people pushing their own beliefs as the final answer.  Sorry, last time I checked we are all connected to God/Source, but not a single one of us is the divine. We don't know the answers, we don't have the guidebook to life, we are here to learn experience and grow in love. 

At some point we have to agree to disagree and do it civilly. 

I heard the fear when I was told about my family member.  Fear not of the virus, but for the person, they have many health issues already and this only makes it that much more of a serious issue. The fear of loss was strong.  

Fear can also be dangerous.  Because family and friends then started pushing the shot to those without.  First off when did a person's medical issues, beliefs and concerns become public fodder.  Secondly, did any of those pushing stop for a moment and think about it?  I mean really consider the facts laid out before them?  One actually presented false media facts to back their insistence. What about the fact that several of those that had opted in were all sick with the virus, yet none of the folks that had opted out were?

I know of two people that have been hospitalized in serious condition in recent months.  Both of them have had the double jab. Both of them ended up very, very sick. The first to the point of almost dying. I think if you have had the shots and ended up hospitalized with the illness that the last thing you would do is insist that your loved ones get the shot when they haven't ended up sick. That you would want more time to process things before insisting on that course of action. 

Each person has their own path to follow.  Support one another for your individual decisions, but don't belittle, condemn, criticize or attack someone that doesn't agree with you.  

To coin a phrase that I've heard far too often in a negative way lately "come on man".  Please be gentle and caring with others.  Please try to understand that your thoughts and fears do not necessarily equal theirs, that they may have other thoughts and fears that are just as valid. 

When people are already in a battle with fear and angst, piling more on is not the answer. I am a firm believer that what is right for me, might not be right for you.  I will support and lift up your decisions and beliefs, but I always expect the same in return. And it doesn't matter what the subject is, the topic for discussion (or as is often the case - divisiveness) always has two sides at a minimum.  My sweet Hubs often quotes a song lyric - "wouldn't it be a drag if we were all the same"... how very true. 

I'm tired of us all being pitted against each other at every turn.  Is it about race, religion, beliefs, sexuality, money, education and now even medical issues?  In my minds eye, I almost envision an ancient Roman Colosseum with the elite all betting on the poor commoners fighting for their entertainment in the circle below.   What can they throw in to make the game more interesting, to entertain their bored souls while they toy with the rest of us. 

To me that is how it feels.  I don't care if you do or don't do any of it.  I care if you don't value me as a human, I care if you feel that my own feelings and beliefs on any topic are irrelevant.  That my concerns are not valid or worthy of consideration.  Then I care.  

I firmly believe that is the space we need to get back to as the human race.  One of caring, concern, understanding and empathy.  

The conversations need to shift in a different direction, the call last night should have been filled with love, concern, prayers.  With questions regarding how to help and support. Not the you must do this also spiel. That part of the conversation didn't belong as a part of what was happening. 

I will reach out today, to send love and prayers, I live way too far away to be of any physical use.  I will support everyone that needs the love and support, or that wants it for that matter. But I won't play stupid games. That cycle of fear is not one that I will personally engage in. 

And it truly breaks my heart that people are willing to be callous and hurtful because they are in a bubble of fear. That they will site false facts to support their beliefs and try to sway another's thoughts.  

I long to live in a simpler world.  This morning I was scrubbing my black walnuts, they require a lot of effort and time.  I was working through my frustration as I scrubbed, I have about 90 more to finish scrubbing today so that they can dry out for use.  As I was scrubbing I was thinking about the past, how people were fitter, stronger and there was less idle chaos.  I do believe that idle hands are the devil's playground so to speak (I don't believe in the devil - although I believe in pure evil and each of us is a mix of the light and the dark).  As I scrubbed away I realized that in reality people were just too busy surviving to expend the energy on these kind of things.  

Oh I am not naive, I am well aware that there has always been discord and petty fighting - human nature I guess.  But when you are busy and engaged in living a meaningful life, you have little time for worrying about someone else not following your personal playbook. 

The fear that was lavishly thrown around last night was harmful and hurtful.  At some point we all need to stop and take a deep breath.  We need to consider if the words we speak and the things we personally do are improving life around us or harming it. 

I guess fear is definitely the topic of the week.  I feel it is raging out of control and people are too fearful to even question their own feelings and reactions and the effects of what they might inadvertently be causing. 

Today is calling for silence and reflection.  Today is calling for me to step back, to meditate and pray.  To not step into the chaos and bitterness that is being thrown around like candy at a parade. Today I will focus on being busy and to keep moving forward in love.  

When you are able to keep your hands busy, your mind occupied and your thoughts clear, life makes a heck of a lot more sense. At least in my world it does... what clears your world may be completely different. 

love and peace my friends...