After literally giving up half way through Friday, my team assures me I was a pretty strange color of red, I came home (should someone not really functioning actually drive?), crawled into bed where I stayed for pretty much 18 of the following 24 hours. I actually barely remember Friday - so hopefully I didn't make any impossible to keep promises.
I knew it was coming. I was already feeling it Monday when I got the email that was basically the tipping point. I am going to blame my damn Northern laborer roots for the outcome. Frankly, I have no one to blame but myself. The warning lights had been going off for over a week. Flashing at me in bright neon colors. The old K-Mart Blue Light special wasn't as obvious.
I was engrossed in half a dozen challenges at work. I didn't want to believe another one was lingering, trying to get my attention. Yet there it was finally in black and white. No getting around seeing it then.
I don't like labels, on anyone. And I could be all angry and self-righteous blaming all millennial's and their lack of work ethic and selfish behavior. As people my age sometimes do. I could. But I would be wrong. It wasn't all millennial's. It was one young person. Someone that had evidently not been raised with any sense of work ethic or basic human values. It wasn't just me that she impacted. It was a lot of people. She was overwhelmingly self centered and childish. People lost dollars from their paychecks, others were inconvenienced because those losing dollars weren't there (it wasn't their fault - it was her's). When I should have graciously tapped out and rested I was scurrying to fix the damage before it could impact anyone else.
To a degree, I have to say I envy her. To have the ability to simply say this is too much work and I don't care to do it anymore. That must be a powerful feeling. Sadly I am watching way too many do this every day. The irony is that in a public forum just a few days before that same young lady fought viciously against someone saying "millennial's do not have a work ethic, they don't stick through anything", her anger had a bite as she scathingly told that person from an older generation how wrong they were about her and her peers. Just a bit ironic.
There were a few times this week, sitting at my desk, the door semi-closed to keep as many folks away as I could, that I felt like I could simply put my head on my desk and sob myself to sleep. I knew I was getting quite ill. But there were people counting on me. And it's simply not in my DNA to let another down. Not if I can prevent it.
As I was trying to think straight, my team, a wonderful mixed bag of people from my age down to those "dreaded" youngsters rushed to my aid. Forcing me to accept I am human and I simply couldn't do it all. The youngest, took on the biggest part of my impending task load and carried it off without many hitches at all and none that weren't immediately able to be overcome.
So it isn't at all about age. At least not in my world. It's more so about who you are as a person. How do you treat others. The Human race... it's not really a race. Absolutely no one gets out alive. Actually, I'd say we're truly here to help one another.
Are there people jealously guarding their right to a work/life balance? Of course there are. And they exist in every generation. I am far more concerned about other things I am witnessing in our world today than spoiled children who refuse to think of other's in their mad, self-centered dash through life.
Do I wish that I could be that way. Yes. Sometimes I do. I wish that I had enough self-awareness to know I needed to stop sooner than my body forced me to do. I wish that having stopped I would have been able to put my head on my pillow and rest. It's not who I am. If it's you. That's awesome and I will be envious at times. I know if I had tried, I would have simply tossed and turned restless at all of the unfinished business.
Our world is rapidly getting far too complicated. I sit in wonder sometimes. Pondering what we lost when we started teaching to the tests. Will today's children ever see the pictures of the German people with wheel barrels full of money trying to buy a loaf of bread? Do they understand hyperinflation as they shout for a $15 living wage? Will they ever know that there was a time that a mere quarter was a good wage? Will they be taught the real reason for World War II and Hitler's rise to power? Will they study the ancient Romans? Russians? Or any of the other dynasty's across this beautiful planet, so that they are not condemned to repeat those lessons until learned? I doubt it.
Nope I'm not worried about a little selfishness, it is just a symptom of a far greater illness.
It's probably a good thing that I rarely get sick, that I rarely have time to think and ponder.
The child that threw a temper tantrum when the going got tough. I feel for her. She is going to have a very hard life. At some point she will have to learn that life gets tough, you can't always walk away because life is impacting your "me" time, and that sometimes you suck it up and move forward. It is only going to be that way for a moment in time.
Me? I got a bug, simply from too little sleep and too much temporary stress. I am going to be just fine in a short while. My feet are still grounded, my head will clear (or at least I hope so - because this stuffiness is for the birds!), and I will continue to always try to do the right thing by others.I threw a tantrum when I was sent to my new Y. I didn't want to go, it was uncomfortable and HARD. It's still hard, but I am blessed everyday. I'm not always going to hire the right people, people are tricky like that, there are still going to be long days and early morning phone calls. And I will still do it. Because I am blessed. I have amazing people around me. And even on hard days, I can still make a difference.
Sometimes a bit of time and distance make all the difference in the world.... Well... it is now time to go and finish nursing myself back to health, so that I can enjoy the trees budding, the light breezes and warming sunshine. Like my sweet guy has found in the sitting room.
No comments:
Post a Comment