Out in the brisk morning air with the beautiful sunrise my mind completely started wandering. I cherish quiet alone times for that very reason. In the silence the mind is free to roam.
I never take my phone with me when I walk the boys. Although as I type that, I realize that I probably should if I am alone. Not because I have anyone I need to talk to, but because they are both very old and getting more frail by the day. What if something happened to one of them and I had them both with me... oh dear that is another rabbit hole that needs to wait for another day.
In the silence this morning, I could hear the poem about the sunrise/sunset that my parents both always shared with us... red in the morn' sailors take warn... does that apply to the almost brilliant purple and pink hue that I saw today?
Playing with my old man in the front yard filled my heart with such joy. I know that my time with him is fading, yet the morning romp and stomp is still so fun and joyous. It brings memories flooding back from all the years we've played it. And it will be one of the things that I will miss the most, so I have to be sure to play it each morning, need to fill that memory bucket to over flowing.
Before the boys woke up I was sitting in one of my favorite chairs, yarn laced in between my fingers as my crochet hook gathered the stitches in the baby blanket I am working on. I needed seven yesterday morning, but sweet Hubs noted that one of his staff became a Daddy for the first time last week and that his little man, a whopping 10 pounds 6 ounces, could use a blanket to keep him warm. Luckily, I have one made that is quite masculine... I was hoping for gender neutral, but none of the yarns I have bought so far have quiet ended up that way.... so now I need at least eight.
As the yarns slide between my hands I was daydreaming back to a time that didn't seem so long ago, but now I'm not so sure. A time before cell phones and portable computers. Sure I had a computer back then. And I technically had a portable phone, after all it was cordless. I was thinking about how much more I used to accomplish. The things I made didn't seem to take so long, they just became real. As I was sitting here, pondering the difference between then and now it seemed elusive.
My skill has improved, that was over twenty years ago. I have mastered many things in that time. What was causing my lack of creative productivity? The yarn sliding between my fingers is soothing. It's that way with all of my creative outlets, they calm me. So what had changed? Was I really working so much that I couldn't find time?
My mind for some reason kept returning to the huge ranch house on the farm in Spanaway, Washington. One of my all time favorite homes, despite being hopeless trapped in the early 70's. I kept remembering a morning sitting at the island in the kitchen while the kids were eating breakfast before school and I was working on a baby bib. I don't remember what it looked like, I just remember my ex questioning me about it and telling him that if I did a bit a day I would have it finished in no time. The mind is a crazy thing. It truly is like a card catalog in a library or a computer with too many tabs open, bouncing in between them all.
My old boy likes company when he eats breakfast and dinner after his walks, usually I sit and play a game on my phone or surf the internet. I seriously do not do well just sitting still, probably something I should work on mastering. Today I didn't have my phone or my Chromebook. I picked up my coffee cup and my craft bag. Then sat beside him working on the blanket. It was like someone hit me with a brick.
It all the sudden occurred to me what was slowing me down. What is probably slowing many of us down from accomplishing things that we love to do. The things that fill our souls and help us grow. Electronics. Computers, phones, constant connectivity.
I have a stack of books by my bed, I never seem to have time to read, even though I desperately want to do so. My excuse is that I don't have enough time. Yet I will lie in bed at night and read short article after short article until my eyes grow heavy on my phone. I don't know if it is the lighting or the ease. Or is it simply that we are being programmed to only handle short snippets as opposed to a book?
My mind can get kind of twisted. I can go down all kinds of rabbit holes when allowed the time to think. I am surely not the only one. And many conspiracy theories jump out at me. Again probably as a result of all of the electronic brainwashing that we are all subjected to.
I think it is time to get lost in the past for a while. To recreate the days when I could spend hours in my sewing room without noticing. Or spend a day walking through new towns and exploring new places. I didn't have a cell phone then or at least one I used much, because I would have to buy more minutes. I remember hours sitting in the parks while my children played in fountains and on playgrounds, reading a book, working on projects, absorbing the laughter and sunshine like they were essential elements of life.
Yesterday was a day of contrasts, yet I am sure it is where these thoughts started. Hubs and I went to work to support the job fair, even though it was a crazy rainy morning that few were brave enough to tackle going out in. I was able to support the team with shutting the pool due to lightning and finding guards. Then Hubs and I headed to the physic fair, normally I can't wait, but I wasn't drawn yesterday, so we skipped it. He drove, so that I could crochet, I was finding so much peace in it. A few errands and Bloody Mary's later we arrived back at home for an early afternoon nap.
Hubs woke me up around four to tell me that it was 65 degrees and sunny, of course that meant we were dropping the top and heading out to explore in the sunshine. We'd never been to Lone Elk Park, yet it's been on the to do list and seemed like the perfect excursion for the little bit of day we had left. I feel we will go many more times, the sunshine, the top down, the bison and the elk. Sweet Hubs was sitting on the back of the convertible taking pictures and both of us were enjoying the beauty of nature.
The view from where I am sitting today, is a picture of perfection. My old boy sleeping, my spinning wheel with roving waiting for attention. The rising sun casting a soft glow. Spring is on the way, I just got a high pollen alert, I'd say that its definitely time for some out with the old, in with the new.
Time for more intention and less distraction...
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