Then you walked outside.
It sounded like every bird in the trees is calling as loud as they can. Screaming at their mates, telling their children not to do something, or maybe they are all simply trying to find that special someone.
The view out of the window looked like a frozen picture. No movement, frozen in time. A snapshot. Actually an old snapshot.
Today on the other hand, after a week that has included snow, hail, sleet, torrential downpours and high winds among other things, it is a beautiful spring day.
Ah... the mid-west.
It's cold but there is no snow. I'm going to consider it a bonus.
Today is Hubs birthday. It cracks me up, for years he's been telling me he definitely feels his age. What does age feel like?
Is it the little aches and pains? If so, I might be 100... I don't really know what age feels like, I decided long ago that I was stronger than those silly things.
I know he's tired, I think this drawn out winter is wearing on him. In fact I am pretty sure it is wearing on both of us. When we start day dreaming of moving to a warmer climate. Running away and finding a quite spot to rest and relax does sound tempting.
I know that sometimes life gets overwhelming and the escape seems welcome. I know he'd like to retire, but that isn't something that can happen right now. Although we are starting to put together a plan for that future. It seems more urgent since losing Dad. There is a lot more questioning what in the world are we doing? Are we working for a living or are we living to work?
Both of us are worn out lately. This year has taken it's toll. Seems all we want to do is sleep. I know that is a combination of depression and exhaustion. I know it's a mix of all the emotions we are struggling to find our way through.
I still haven't taken a moment.
He hasn't really taken one either.
Personally, I'm afraid to.
I'd rather hold on to being busy. Learning the lessons that are bubbling up in my heart. Putting family first. Loving with sheer abandon. Making time.
We spent the evening enjoying a fabulous meal with family. Laughing at the grand babies, smiling at Hubs' jokes and silliness. Sharing bites of everything. Simply being. We don't often do that these days. We're both trying to learn the art of slowing down and savoring life.
Five weeks ago, I had hope and excitement in my heart. I was sure that with faith my Dad would come home, the memories that were waiting to be made would happen. Five weeks ago tomorrow, the world shifted off it's axis.
Today my sweet Hubs turned 66, he's young. My Dad was too. I don't want to waste so much time. I want to laugh, smile, create, enjoy. I want to fully experience life, because as I have learned, all too fast that can change.
Tomorrow is time enough to make my soaps, to install's Hubs birthday present - because he's a goof and asked for a toilet. (WHO DOES THAT??)
What a day today has been... doing nothing "important", and everything IMPORTANT!
Enjoy your loved ones. Celebrate the smallest things. Life is far too short not to.
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