overflowing...

You can't pour from an empty cup or empty bucket for that matter.  Odd, I struggle to remember things, but that one always sticks in my mind.  I remember the first time I heard a bit of it, ironically my old boss had gathered a bunch of drop shaped paint swatches and we were to write something on them for everyone in the group - to fill their bucket.

For as long as I can remember, so many people have said that phrase to me. It has crossed my mind and been heavy in my heart.  For so long I had been trying to pour from an empty cup, and the sad thing is I didn't realize it.  That darn cup was so empty is was cracking from the strain and I didn't even understand or see it. 

Now that I've had a bit to breathe, a chance to not absorb, to simply be.  I realize it. 

I have so many people that I love in my life that I am watching struggle with the empty cup. I know there are even more on this planet that are dealing with the same thing. Look at the news, look at life, look around.  People with vacant stares, with lost looks, the bags under their eyes the inability to even think straight - oh wait sorry, I was describing how I used to be. 

I feel guilty.  I feel rested.  I am starting to feel vibrant.  I am starting to feel alive again. Yes, our world is different now.  I'm sure it will probably hit me eventually how different.  For now... I feel like a survivor with survivors guilt. 

I received a text, telling me about  "3 hours of sleep - mind wouldn't stop", another up all night with a sick little one.  Another conversation about work stress and feeling almost helpless to enact change. Each of these tears at my soul.  I remember those days.  I seem to not have so much of any of it any more.  

I find I am sleeping better than I have in a very, very long time.  I feel flexible and ready to tackle things.  I find myself feeling more ready, willing and able to help those around me than I have in... well shoot, I simply don't remember.  I remember always being willing, but I don't remember being ready or truly able. 

It feels like most of the people I know are struggling in that same way.  You want to help, you want to be there, you want to be the support, the assistance, the piece that helps the other become whole, and yet... you look at your world and struggle to see how you can. 

I truly believe in my heart that people are genuinely good, kind, caring and basically pack animals.  We want to be there, we need to be part of our own tribe.  Somehow, somewhere along the way we pick up baggage.  Too much work, too little work, too many responsibilities, too many rules, would have, should haves, etc.  We are all so busy punching a clock and working to make ends meet (they seem to always move further apart) that we don't have the energy, the time, the motivation to do anymore than we are. 

Yesterday, I was able to drop everything and support my girl - the dragon is sick with a virus, as she never gets sick it was nerve-racking. I was able to support family members and friends.  I realized I couldn't change things for anyone, but for a change I could be the shoulder to lean on.  The listening ear at the other end of the line.  I couldn't solve a darn thing, but I could give them a place to rant, a safe place to simply let it all out. 

None of it belonged to me, so I didn't carry it with me.  I simply returned to my tasks, I don't even feel like the stuff I do is considered chores any longer.  I completed my own to do list for the day or rather as much as I felt like completing.  I was able to simply be in that space.  To cherish the moments and be thankful for the ability to finally just be there. 

It was awesome.  

As I got dressed this morning to tackle the day ahead of me, and was chatting with Hubs I felt a bit of that survivors guilt creep in. He was heading off to work and I was able to simply already be at my work.  I used to be so jealous when he could work from home.  I struggled with bitterness that in my pups final years I wasn't able to be here. That he could take a moment's break and play with the dragon when she would drive up in either of her cars. Those were times that hurt my heart so much.  I felt robbed.  

On her way to Gramma

So when I was blessed to stop yesterday and simply be where needed, it felt wonderful.  I could almost feel the drops refilling my cup.  It was easy to be that person, because I had the overflow in my own cup to easily share. 

For a long time I have blogged about balance.  About my need for it.  As I navigate the different path ahead and make the plans and take the actions to create the life I want, I am overwhelmed with joy, love and peace.  I'm not looking at the world through rose colored glasses, I am looking at life in a different way.  A simpler way.  So much of what was, wasn't needed or truly wanted. 

 "My cup runneth over " Psalms 23:5, I finally get it.  

It was never about material things.... 

gratitude ...

My cup is overflowing! Living life thankful and grateful for all the things that come your way is so powerful.  It fills your heart with joy.  It makes even a rainy day something to be thankful for, and yes I know this is the mid-west and it is prone to flooding, but I am thankful!

I woke up to adorable pictures of my precious littlest grand baby snuggled up on the couch with the bunny.  They had slept together like that.  Filled my heart with love. 

As I was standing out in the rain, I was adding compost from making Hubs' Buddha bowl for lunch, before I got completely distracted by how many of my beautiful plants are growing.  It feels life giving to stand in the rain and play in the soil.  To watch the magic of the growth that seems to happen over night.  

Hubs was creative this morning, he'd found a metal rack that I was throwing out - a victim of my desire to clean out clutter - and while I was sleeping he created a climbing trellis for my plants. I have them around many of them, not so much for them to climb on, but to protect them from the winds that can get quite strong in the tree top garden. I don't know if the trellis made me happier or the fact that he knew it was something I could use and he did it without even asking.  He listens to me even when I babble about silly things.  Talk about love! I am so grateful for trusting the Lord to answer my prayers!

I'd over planted my cow peas.  They are an heirloom variety and the seed packet is crazy old, I think I bought it in 2016, so I wasn't as optimistic as I usually am when planting seeds. Hopeful, yes, optimistic no. Yet sanding there in the rain there they were over 3 inches tall already.  I am fairly certain that the boxes were empty just this past weekend when I watered. I haven't eaten any yet, ever, because last years harvest was not enough to cook.  So I dried them instead. I hope this year will give me a full harvest, especially with as many plants as germinated. I'd started them inside last year, trying to feel accomplished and organized. This year, I definitely did not feel organized. I just hoped.

Hope has definitely been a powerful word for me this year.  After all faith, hope and charity (love) are key attributes we are called to have in this lifetime.  They have always been the pillars I have tried to build my life on.  Somewhere in the back of my mind there is a song from Sunday school about them. Sometimes I have been successful, sometimes I have been blinded by my own arrogance and thoughts. 

I have personally added a gratitude portion to those three.  Even when life does not turn out as I think it will or I have planned, I am so grateful for the powers that give me something even better than I can imagine!

I knew that yesterday was going to be super busy, and it was.  But not necessarily the way that I anticipated.  After meditating and playing my singing bowl in the rain, I felt drawn to be a bit selfish - although that is probably not the word I want.  I focused entirely on self for a few hours.  I sat deeply engrossed in the silence.  I was grateful for the time to heal, to center, to focus on me.  I didn't worry about anything or anyone. I listened to my heart.  I was able to finally write words that have been simmering in the depths of who I am.  It was perfect. 

I have been practicing daily gratitude for a bit now, but to deep dive in... priceless.  

We went over to the girls house last night, we were summoned by the four year old.  She had been feeling poorly and needed some love and attention.  Plus, the bunny had decided to be inside last night and definitely wanted to be loved.  Together as we all sat around, rain outside, snuggling the sweet little bunny and talking. My daughter shared with me how powerful simply being grateful has been in her life recently.  How the more she is grateful, the more doors seem to be opening for her. I couldn't have agreed more. 

I am so grateful and thankful for this time.  To recenter and refocus.  I cherish the fact that sweet Hubs' probably realized sooner than I did how off balance I had become and how much I was hurting myself.  The rain this morning is coming down strong and steady.  It's that beautiful deep green out the bay window.  It's the kind of rain that can wash away everything, stress, anger, hurt, pain... none of those things serve any of us. I was living in that bubble for far too long.  I am choosing to let the rain wash it all away.  

I just realized sitting here why my singing bowl resonates so strongly for me.  It has the same deep tones that my beloved wind chimes have. As the breeze is gently moving them, creating that deep, gentle tone that touches the soul. It is calming.  Add the faint calls of the birds, probably checking in on one another, it takes it to a completely different level of calm. They are beautiful as the soft echo carries into the wind. 

Maybe today will be a bit more productive in the physical sense.  We'll see.  I am clearly not sure of my direction or goals.  What I do know is that in time it will all happen, in time things will be the way they are supposed to be. 

I know that I will be ready for the yard sale on Saturday morning.  I will be ready for my quilting class on Sunday. I will be ready for all the next steps in my life, all in the time it is meant to happen. 

And I am so grateful this time. For the lessons and the joy.  I cherish the time that I can now spend with the people I love.  Family and friends. Those most important to me, I no longer feel guilty for that time, I don't feel the need to be anxious or frustrated trying to figure out if I can make those times happen and what the price I will have to pay will be. Do you have any idea how incredible it felt to take homemade brownies over to my girls last night?  To know that without hesitation I could schedule time to go and see my sweet boy?  To book a trip in the future to go and see a play that Hubs wants to see and not worry about it conflicting with other plans? It was freaking incredible!

Laughing with grand babies, chatting with kiddo's and friends.  Not having to tell my mom or sisters sorry gotta go.  Dinner at a normal hour with my sweet Hubs... Holy Moses this is the life!

I don't know if you live your life in a state of gratitude.  I am going to suggest giving it a try.  Each day focus on one thing you are truly grateful for.  Even if it is just that the house stayed clean for an hour (we each have our burdens), or maybe your inbox was empty for 30 minutes.  Focus on one thing, then the next... pretty soon even the rain is beautiful and soul filling.  A traffic jam is a chance to recenter and savor a few extra moments for yourself. Give it a try. The blessings are worth it. 

clutter...

Good morning sweet dreary Monday!  I have a to do list a mile long, I am becoming addicted to cleaning out stuff.  And I have a bunch that has been packed up in storage for years that needs to be cleaned up before the yard sale on Saturday. 

Before I really dig in, I've done a bit of tidying already but the digging in needs to wait, I need a bit of me time first.  Hot coffee, the birds chirping (I noticed this morning we have a pair of hummingbirds that have found the feeder), and the surrounding silence are all things that I need a moment to savor. For far too long my world has been a series of rushing from point A to point B with a detour to D, M & Z and back again.  Okay now I am totally laughing inside my head, did you notice the letters I randomly picked? DMZ - being a brat - that will always be the demilitarized zone - was that a Freudian slip? 

I'm enjoying this slower more intentional life!  It feels calmer, I am far more centered than I have ever been.  I feel productive, like I am making a difference in my own life for a change.  I love it!  As I made Hubs' lunch and a hot breakfast this morning I enjoyed the calmness, the ability to take my time and provide for him.   Not that I didn't before, but it was different.  It was intentional. 

In a few I will go and sit out back and play my singing bowl, I will sit in quiet meditation and listen to the sounds around me.  I am resetting myself.  I am learning to listen to my inner voice.  It is sometimes a bit loud at the strangest times, like at 2:22 am when it wakes me from a dead sleep to let me know I am not listening. 

When in fact, I am hearing it loud and clear.  I am working on the more human aspects of pushing ego aside and having pure faith.  If you are in that process yourself you understand, if not, well just wait.  Because all of us reach a point in our lives where we will learn to step forward in pure faith.  Ego simply tells us not to because it thinks it is protecting us, it isn't.  It's stopping us.  As I gently thank ego for all of it's hard and dedicated work over all of these years, I am longing to lean further into just knowing and stepping out in pure faith. 

I have a tattoo on my right ankle, it is a beautiful watercolor, it says "What if I fall?  Oh but my darling what if you fly!" Those words have deep meaning to me.  Which is why they are on my ankle. I can only fall if I don't have faith.  I have always believed that, but for far too long I didn't put it into action.  Darn ego had me believing it was false. 

It's definitely a bit unnerving and a bit empowering all at the same time.  This week I will focus on cleaning up the past, starting fresh.  After Sunday, I know where my focus is moving to.  I know where my thoughts and heart are taking me. I will spend a bit of time this week reaching out to different groups.  Particularly the one that my reader recommended, finding out if there is a need or even an avenue of desire for what I feel drawn to do. 

I will continue to pray and meditate on it, so maybe it will stop reminding me in the middle of the night. 

As I reset and refresh it feels so good to my heart. As I learn to let go of my ego self and simply be, that feels even better.  I understand where my sweet boy is coming from when he says he would be okay staying/working at home forever.  The fact that I have not been exposed to many people and their energy has definitely been helping me as a person. I am afraid that for far too long, I gave too much to others and didn't save much for me.  As I was going through some old thank you notes I've saved today I notice a strong reoccurring theme... they all seemed to realize what I was simply blind to.  That I gave far too much and carried even more to help others down their road. 

I'm still going to do that, but in a far more structured manner.  I feel almost as good about this path and place and time as I did in Germany when I finally learned to say no.  It was so very hard to do.  When people needed help or wanted something done and no one else would step forward I always raised my hand and said I would do it.  That was how I ended up so involved in Scouts, PTA, yearbooks, wives clubs, etc.  At one point I had a complete inability to simply say no.  I believed everyone that said no one else will do it, I couldn't bear for those things to not happen.  So instead of healthy boundaries, I stepped in and gave too much of me.  I didn't realize the loss to my family, my friends or even myself.  I remember sitting up late into the night with tears in my eyes, simply wanting to go to sleep, but knowing there was a deadline on the yearbook and all those "dedicated students" that I was leading had lost the drive once it became boring and tedious. 

I've learned a bit more about life than I knew before.  I have also learned a bit more about my own value as a human.  I have far more respect for me than I used to possess.  I understand that as a human I am more than a machine for something I am not passionate about. I am a strong woman, but I am also okay leaving that title aside and simply being a human. 

Yesterday I made a tongue and cheek comment about I was excelling at being a 50's housewife (my sweet Hubs' ideal woman) and the person I made the comment to replied that I could never be a 50's housewife, I was simply too strong.  I've thought about that for a few hours now.  And I've decided that the truth is somewhere in the middle.  I have a passion for being a homemaker, I was denied it for far too long, but being a strong woman... that comes from being a wife, a mom, and a caregiver.  You have to be strong to be able to be all of those things.  

I've said it in the past, and I am going to say it again, I come from an incredible line of strong women.  There energetic power, strength and most importantly love runs strong in my blood and my DNA.  And as I am further discovering who I am and who I am yet to become I am thankful for each of them. 

life...

Raindrops are just tapering off.  The air has that crisp earthy smell that follows a sudden downpour.  I was just out back sitting on the deck.  I wanted to play my singing bowl and not disrupt Hubs resting in his chair watching his old movies. The sky was starting to clear, the last drops of the mid-afternoon squall were falling and it sounded like all of the birds in the woods decided to call out to each other at the same time. I love the wildness of the woods.  It's calming to my soul and listening to them harmonize with my singing bowl gave me chills. 

While I was sitting there, lost in thought and staring off into space, the final notes of my bowl ringing in my head I was all the sudden overwhelmed with the mission impossible theme song playing loudly in my head.  So much for a zen moment.  The little nuthatches that have taken up residence in Hubs' Harley Davidson birdhouse crack me up!  I've watched them for a couple of days, but today, well today took the cake.  It was like watching a bad spy movie, the kind where they have their coat collars turned up looking all around to see if they are being followed. 

Here are these two little birds no bigger than a fist with all the feathers on top of their head standing on end, beak full of nest making supplies,  looking all around to make sure they aren't being followed.  Bouncing from light string, to plant stand to planter and then back out into the trees, their little heads on swivel.  They definitely keep me smiling. 

I also caught a squirrel mastering the "squirrel proof" bird feeder this morning.  Smart little buggers when they are hungry.  Showing Hubs the picture cracked me up even more, I'm not sure he realized he described the little fellow as having his "right hand on the frame and his left on the bar".  I could have shoo'd him off, but he'd worked so hard for that snack, I didn't have the heart.  He was leaning a good 16 feet or so over the edge of the deck with nothing but the hard ground to stop his fall if it didn't turn out the way he was planning.  I just couldn't ignore that bravery in his quest for food. 

Hubs and I went to the movies this morning.  If you get the chance to see Here Today - with Billy Crystal, do it.  It is an incredible story that will leave you laughing, crying and searching every emotion and memory that you have.  

It definitely wiggled into my heart and has had me thinking.  Time with family and loved ones is very precious.  None of us know when our journey here will end, and none of us know the angels that we will meet along our path nor who they might be disguised as.  Nor do we know what blessings their time in our lives might bring. My favorite line from the movie? "I'm here today".  Aren't we all?

Cherish those blessings, look for them.  Ironically one of the guys that used to work for me a long bit ago reached out to me today.  Wanted to let me know how his life is going and to show me a picture of his newest kitty (he and his lady rescue kitties).  It was out of nowhere.  I last heard from him in December, he has had a rough path, yet his heart remains pure. 

I am a very blessed woman.  I have had so many angels in my life.  Some of them have flitted through and I almost missed them, others are now permanent pieces of my journey and I could not be more thankful.  I want to cherish and celebrate all the pieces that make me whole. I want to continue to find time to sit quietly and enjoy the rain.  I want to be present when with my loved ones and friends. I want to enjoy this journey, because truthfully it will be gone in the blink of an eye.  

I believe that I am ready to start my research, to start putting together the bits for the next phase of where I am supposed to go. Life is beautiful.  Go out and walk in the rain, play music with song birds, immerse yourself in the energy of this beautiful planet.  

little things...

There is a feeling of peace when strolling down the street listening to music from what feels like every location around you, rain softly falling on you, so gentle you barely notice and having a glass of wine in your hand.  That is how today ended up happening. 

Hubs and I worked on finishing the sorting of the garage, it is 99% done.  Thank goodness.  Five bags of clothes donated to the school clothing drive and an incredibly disorganized kitchen to show for it all. The feeling of completeness is awesome! 

After a bit of a rest we headed out to Mystic Valley.  I needed a reading.  And one of my favorite mediums was going to be there.  It's been an unsteady time, things are changing.  I needed to feel grounded and focused. 

My sweet Hubs doesn't know how to take me, but he sure does try to figure it out. The funniest part, is that while he is humoring me, he is very intuitive also. 

My reading gave me goosebumps, it also brought tears of hope and emotion to my eyes.  I was very careful to give her nothing to go on.  I simply asked what I needed to know.  I sat quietly.  I wanted to hear what she had to share.  Without knowing anything at all she hit things right on the mark.  I so intrigued with what she shared and the suggestions for moving forward. I loved that she knew there had been a separation of some kind and almost laughed when she told me that I needed to step out of the bubble of self that I have been in.  That while it has felt good and comforting, that it can only last for a bit longer.  

Even more interesting is that of the four cards she drew (and three that fell to the side) the two that focused on where I am going were based on creativity and homeward.  She doesn't know me, not well.  It's been over a year since my last 15 minute reading with her.  She has no idea that when life is crazy and topsy turvy I turn to all of my creative fields of interest.  For 15 minutes it was a deep conversation, digging into thoughts and feelings that I haven't even been willing to acknowledge myself. I've heard them, I've felt them.  But I have definitely not been ready or able to embrace them yet. 

We spoke for a few more moments, little snippets.  Ideas and words were thrown out, waiting for me to either embrace them or discard them.  I personally have a strong belief in the spiritual world.  My head was tingling and my heart was racing with some of the things she shared.  Those are things that will be explored in the silence, when my head and heart are ready to dig in deeper and to listen. 

I love that my sweet Hubs took time to ask me about my session, to care about things that don't make a lot of sense to him.  To actually take notes about what I had shared. He knows that it is important to me, so he listens.  He takes the moment to hear what I say and to process it.  I have to admit, being heard is such a precious gift.  

We decided to stroll through downtown Maplewood in the lightly sprinkling rain.  Both of us aching and sore, but drawn to experience the music, the people, the sheer vibrant flow of life returning to an area of our community that we both love.  

If you are in the area and have never been, go. It's eclectic.  The mix of shops, styles, food, drink promises something for everyone.  I am pretty sure my favorite part is the fact that it is almost completely local shops.  The mom and pops as they used to be called.  When you visit the area and shops you are truly making the decision to support local.

We didn't stop for coffee, although the coffee shop in town is one of my favorites, today wasn't about lounging in the sunshine enjoying a freshly brewed cup.  Today was for sitting in the rain listening to a variety of local musicians, drinking wine and savoring snacks.  Wandering in and out of stores, petting puppies and simply enjoying each other. 

Hubs decided that we needed to go into an incredible little jewelry shop.  I did not feel strongly about it, mostly because he always wants to buy me some new piece of jewelry and I have far more than I need.  I don't know what drew him to this shop, he just insisted we go inside. The Silver Lady.  I was expecting your traditional jeweler.  Was I ever in for a shock. 

There were beautiful stones and natural gems, fossils and shells everywhere! The young man working behind the counter was not only knowledgeable about every stone in there, but was also incredibly talented. He shared several pieces that he has been working on and they were exquisite.  He took the time to share his favorite stones with us, and it was so refreshing to discover that he and I share a love of Labradorite. I'd never heard the legend of it, that it was believed to hold the magic of the northern lights in it's shiny depth.  I love it not only for it's ever changing beauty, but for it's blessing of transformation, strength and perseverance, helping to strengthen your intuition.  I have always felt very drawn to it.  

Hubs didn't fail to try and buy me another ring, and I will admit they had some pretty Peridot rings (my birthstone), I just didn't feel strongly that I needed to own one.  I hadn't noticed the thimble in the one display case, I was enjoying learning about all of the stones, their powers and energies.  I'm not sure how I missed it.  Hubs did not miss it. It's beautiful silver with abalone all around the outside. I didn't figure it would fit me, but I tried it on just the same. 

It was perfect.  It also left the store with me.  I can't wait to try it out.  As we walked down the sidewalk, my sweet Hubs admitted that he'd felt drawn to that store, he simply knew there was something there he needed to find.  Guess he found it. 

Before we wandered back to the truck, we made a quick stop back into Mystic Valley.  I wanted to show Hubs the singing bowls they had.  I wanted his opinion, I've been looking at them for awhile. I love the sound and the feeling of peace playing one brings.  A few candles and a singing bowl later we headed home, to sit on our deck and enjoy the rain, drink more wine and listen to the singing bowl.

Life is what you make of it.  I am so blessed and grateful for each new day. 

living life...

This beautiful day is fading fast.  The sun has set and the sky is starting to darken. It has been the kind of day that not only makes you weary from hard work but refreshed from playing even harder!

I haven't had the opportunity to ride the river road, or go on a long motorcycle ride at all this year, things always got in the way on the beautiful days.  After most of Hubs vacation has been cold, we finally got a break!  It topped 70 at noon - perfect riding weather. 

We spent our morning working on the dreaded garage.  It's been the big project this week.  As soon as we are done cleaning up in there we will start setting up for the garage sale next weekend.  It's been a lot of work, but it's been good work.  It feels good to finally unpack.  I know that sound really odd given that we have lived here 6 or so years.  We never finished unpacking because Hubs ended up having two hip replacements and almost dying on me in a nine month time frame. Then we simply got far too busy with everything around life. 

The garage and most of the house for that matter are a total disaster right now.  Stuff is in a state of coming, going or simply being found again everywhere. There are stacks of albums, not sure what to do with those yet. Mason jars everywhere (who knew I had that many jars - geeze), I could have seriously helped all my friends that were frantically looking for jars last summer by simply going into my garage - who knew.  There are toys that are outgrown, home goods and tools, lamps and linens of every type.  There are six big bags of clothing that we are donating to our sweet grand daughters school clothing drive - and that number could grow by the time I am finished in the morning. I am serious about this cleaning out thing.  It's simply time. 

But let's be real, all work and no play make Wifey and Hubs dull and gray.  As the temperature rose and the blue skies beckoned it was time to head to the river road and Grafton. The first few miles after I haven't ridden for a bit definitely leave me feeling a bit rattled.  Not because I don't trust Hubs, one hundred percent I trust Hubs, it's all the idiots on the road that are distracted driving that make me stressed. 

And unfortunately the most direct way to the river road, involves quite a long stretch of highway, and of course it is the section that is the busiest all the time with lots of construction.  By the time I saw that beautiful stretch of road along the river I could not wait to hit the winery.  My nerves were shot. We are going to have to find a route that doesn't involve so much highway travel, but today didn't have enough warm hours for us to tackle that task. 

It's Hubs' favorite ride.  I can literally feel the stress of life lifting off of him as we putter along that fabulous road, sticking to 45 mph so that we can watch the eagles, enjoy the view, chatter about how high or low the river is, and point out oddities along the way. 

If we had been able to leave earlier the ride would most likely have included a trip on the ferry and a ride through Brussels, but since the day had a late start and an early conclusion we stopped in Grafton at the winery for a break before heading back.  

Hubs enjoyed a cigar and ice tea and I sipped my wine flight, trying to decide which ones I needed to bring home (don't believe the woman in the shop - the "Peach Bubbles" is definitely not tasty.  We found the elusive pour spouts that I love so much, the ones that do it all - cork, aerate, pour, filter... pure perfection!  I cannot prove what happened to the last one, but I sure hope the person that took it is enjoying it as much as I did.  

All the while we people watched, eagle watched, chattered about a lot of nothing and simply enjoyed sitting in the sunshine and relaxing as we watched the river keep on moving past. Being a weekday there weren't a lot of motorcycles or boats - so it was a relatively quiet town for my favorite spot on the river.  I could live there if the whole town didn't flood on a far too frequent basis. 

There is something about that stretch of road.  I used to think it was just the eagles, but heck we have as many around our backyard as they do up there.  The eagles have decided the Meramec is just as awesome a place to raise their young as the Mississippi.  It's pretty awesome to live by so many major rivers, such  an interesting ecological landscape and the diversity of wildlife. I hear we even had a bear wandering around within 10 miles around where we live last week. 

It was a beautiful day.  My lips and face are a bit sunburned, Hubs' are too.  The windburn is mixed in, but the sense of peace and freedom is incredible. I don't know how much longer either of us will be riding.  My knees were highly annoyed and his hip was not thrilled with him.  As much as we love riding together, I think we are both brutally aware that our riding days are numbered. We need to take advantage of it as much as possible. 

The sky is dark now, sweet Hubs is drifting and I am not far behind.  It's been a great day, full of the stuff memories are made of.  Even if those memories are "what the hell was this mess we canned?" as we are tossing it in the trash - those mason jars are dead to me. 

Tomorrow and Sunday are rapidly filling up, Monday morning will find Hubs back at work.  It will be so still around here without him home.  A dear friend of mine reminded me today to cherish every minute with the people important to you, he's been witness to far too much loss lately.  I have to say... I agree.  Treasure the moments, even the dull and boring ones - you never know when those moments will become memories. 

sit a spell...

Do you know what the perfect ending to a beautiful spring day is?  Sitting on the cold ground, coloring in chalk and listening to the wisdom of a four year old. When my old bones felt the ground was too cold that sweet, precious baby went and got me a pad to sit on.  All she wanted was my undivided attention.

We explored rocks, talked about the drawing she was making, believe it or not - we talked about meditation.  One of the family cats was sitting just outside the fire pit line staring into the forest, he hadn't moved for probably five minutes and we were joking that he was meditating.  My sweet little grand daughter immediately demonstrated the yoga pose she uses.  Legs crossed, fingers pinched in a circle and arms at her sides, with her eyes closed.  

She's four, yet her soul must be thousands of years old.  It is so easy to get drawn into a deep conversation with her.  She reminds me of her uncle, he was the same way when he was little.  He was a serious conversationalist when he was young, now... not unless you are sitting together face to face.  He loathes the phone and conversations online only last so long. 

Hubs and I went over so he could put the girl's windshield wiper blades on her truck.  Evidently it was something that has been needed for a bit, but she didn't want to ask.  Kids.  After that little task was done we spent time chatting, laughing, digging through rocks - I love that my kid and grandkid's take after me and can get totally lost in the act of looking for rocks.  I'd mentioned to my girl that I was hoping to find a hag-stone, which resulted in her showing me several of hers. She is a very lucky person to have found so many. We also looked at the collection of fossils and gems that she found in the woods and talked about going to Haunted Ridge Rocks to search for some durzy quartz.  

The only thing keeping me from going crystal hunting is my immense fear of snakes and they seem to be out in mass lately.  I keep trying to tell myself that most of the snakes in Missouri are non-venomous and more afraid of me than I am of them.  And bam just like that I remember I am terrified of snakes.  Although, I really do think I will head to Haunted Ridge Rocks soon, it intrigues me. Maybe I can get the girls to come with Hubs and I when we go. 

Hubs and I sat on the deck for hours yesterday, physically unproductive.  Emotionally, it was so healing.  We worked together to paint the hummingbird feeder, it was clear with a nondescript looking base and top, the red flowers had faded from being in the sun.  We'd seen a few hummingbirds at our daughters house, but none here at the top of the hill.  Her yard is awash in red, ours isn't.  As I had the paint out I finally touched up the colors on a beautiful plant trellis that sweet Hubs bought me many years ago when we first got married.  I cherish it and forever I've been meaning to get around to painting it again.  Yesterday seemed like the perfect time. 

It is so very therapeutic to sit for hours and watch the birds. A little conversation, a little quilting and lots of bird watching.  The hummingbird found the feeder almost as soon as it was reassembled, there are cowbirds, cardinals, blue jays, sparrows, finches, tufted titmouse, chickadee and both pine and rose breasted grosbeaks. Yesterday an indigo bunting joined the party. The woodpecker shows up quite frequently, but only when none of the others are around. Our beautiful little tree top garden is a perfect spot for bird watching.

Sitting out there among our feathered visitors is so relaxing.  Watching them fearlessly perch on tiny branches, they have no reason to fear, they trust their own wings.  A lesson we humans could stand to learn.

As you can tell yesterday involved a lot of time enjoying the fresh air and relaxing.  

For sweet Hubs this vacation has been all about relaxing.  We'd like to catch at least one or two motorcycle rides, it's been so long.  Mother Nature has been a bit intent on holding the temperature just below where we like to ride.  It's not as much fun when you are shivering. Tomorrow and Saturday are looking semi-promising.  I might just have to let my sweet Hubs drive my bug and go wander around.  It's wind therapy with a heater. 

Maybe I will get that little quilt finished today.  I'm anxious to start on another one, although I'm trying to work linear for a bit and complete one project before beginning another.  It's going to depend on how my finger feels.  Trying to teach myself to use a thimble again, my poor finger is horribly punctured and painful.  It's really slow going. Or maybe we will pack a picnic lunch and go explore somewhere.  We may even clean out a few more areas. 

Who knows what this beautiful day might bring, another opportunity to enjoy our lives together, is all I am asking for.