I woke up to adorable pictures of my precious littlest grand baby snuggled up on the couch with the bunny. They had slept together like that. Filled my heart with love.
As I was standing out in the rain, I was adding compost from making Hubs' Buddha bowl for lunch, before I got completely distracted by how many of my beautiful plants are growing. It feels life giving to stand in the rain and play in the soil. To watch the magic of the growth that seems to happen over night.
Hubs was creative this morning, he'd found a metal rack that I was throwing out - a victim of my desire to clean out clutter - and while I was sleeping he created a climbing trellis for my plants. I have them around many of them, not so much for them to climb on, but to protect them from the winds that can get quite strong in the tree top garden. I don't know if the trellis made me happier or the fact that he knew it was something I could use and he did it without even asking. He listens to me even when I babble about silly things. Talk about love! I am so grateful for trusting the Lord to answer my prayers!
I'd over planted my cow peas. They are an heirloom variety and the seed packet is crazy old, I think I bought it in 2016, so I wasn't as optimistic as I usually am when planting seeds. Hopeful, yes, optimistic no. Yet sanding there in the rain there they were over 3 inches tall already. I am fairly certain that the boxes were empty just this past weekend when I watered. I haven't eaten any yet, ever, because last years harvest was not enough to cook. So I dried them instead. I hope this year will give me a full harvest, especially with as many plants as germinated. I'd started them inside last year, trying to feel accomplished and organized. This year, I definitely did not feel organized. I just hoped.
Hope has definitely been a powerful word for me this year. After all faith, hope and charity (love) are key attributes we are called to have in this lifetime. They have always been the pillars I have tried to build my life on. Somewhere in the back of my mind there is a song from Sunday school about them. Sometimes I have been successful, sometimes I have been blinded by my own arrogance and thoughts.
I have personally added a gratitude portion to those three. Even when life does not turn out as I think it will or I have planned, I am so grateful for the powers that give me something even better than I can imagine!
I knew that yesterday was going to be super busy, and it was. But not necessarily the way that I anticipated. After meditating and playing my singing bowl in the rain, I felt drawn to be a bit selfish - although that is probably not the word I want. I focused entirely on self for a few hours. I sat deeply engrossed in the silence. I was grateful for the time to heal, to center, to focus on me. I didn't worry about anything or anyone. I listened to my heart. I was able to finally write words that have been simmering in the depths of who I am. It was perfect.
I have been practicing daily gratitude for a bit now, but to deep dive in... priceless.
We went over to the girls house last night, we were summoned by the four year old. She had been feeling poorly and needed some love and attention. Plus, the bunny had decided to be inside last night and definitely wanted to be loved. Together as we all sat around, rain outside, snuggling the sweet little bunny and talking. My daughter shared with me how powerful simply being grateful has been in her life recently. How the more she is grateful, the more doors seem to be opening for her. I couldn't have agreed more.
I am so grateful and thankful for this time. To recenter and refocus. I cherish the fact that sweet Hubs' probably realized sooner than I did how off balance I had become and how much I was hurting myself. The rain this morning is coming down strong and steady. It's that beautiful deep green out the bay window. It's the kind of rain that can wash away everything, stress, anger, hurt, pain... none of those things serve any of us. I was living in that bubble for far too long. I am choosing to let the rain wash it all away.
I just realized sitting here why my singing bowl resonates so strongly for me. It has the same deep tones that my beloved wind chimes have. As the breeze is gently moving them, creating that deep, gentle tone that touches the soul. It is calming. Add the faint calls of the birds, probably checking in on one another, it takes it to a completely different level of calm. They are beautiful as the soft echo carries into the wind.
Maybe today will be a bit more productive in the physical sense. We'll see. I am clearly not sure of my direction or goals. What I do know is that in time it will all happen, in time things will be the way they are supposed to be.
I know that I will be ready for the yard sale on Saturday morning. I will be ready for my quilting class on Sunday. I will be ready for all the next steps in my life, all in the time it is meant to happen.
And I am so grateful this time. For the lessons and the joy. I cherish the time that I can now spend with the people I love. Family and friends. Those most important to me, I no longer feel guilty for that time, I don't feel the need to be anxious or frustrated trying to figure out if I can make those times happen and what the price I will have to pay will be. Do you have any idea how incredible it felt to take homemade brownies over to my girls last night? To know that without hesitation I could schedule time to go and see my sweet boy? To book a trip in the future to go and see a play that Hubs wants to see and not worry about it conflicting with other plans? It was freaking incredible!
Laughing with grand babies, chatting with kiddo's and friends. Not having to tell my mom or sisters sorry gotta go. Dinner at a normal hour with my sweet Hubs... Holy Moses this is the life!
I don't know if you live your life in a state of gratitude. I am going to suggest giving it a try. Each day focus on one thing you are truly grateful for. Even if it is just that the house stayed clean for an hour (we each have our burdens), or maybe your inbox was empty for 30 minutes. Focus on one thing, then the next... pretty soon even the rain is beautiful and soul filling. A traffic jam is a chance to recenter and savor a few extra moments for yourself. Give it a try. The blessings are worth it.
True words! 381+
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