I am making a list in my head - soon to hit paper - I am the queen of lists and notes of the things that I want to do. For so long they have been day dreams, a list of maybe someday and possibilities waiting to happen. So much has been lingering, waiting for me to have time.
Monday morning the beginning of a day of possibility.
I love the beauty of this day, the gift of time and space. Last night as I opened the small cabinet door in my antique phone table I felt like a small child on Christmas day. I knew there was a partially finished project lingering in there. A beautiful undyed natural gray alpaca yarn that I had long ago started knitting into a pair of finger-less gloves. I don't remember what delegated them to sit there in the bag the yarn came in. I don't even remember how long it's been since I last felt the softness of the yarn in my fingers.
I was so tired and ready for bed, but opening that bag brought back strong memories of the work and an even stronger desire to play. Not too long ago I would have scolded myself and put it away. I would not have given in to that pure joy. Last night I refreshed my dusty memory of the pattern and let muscle memory take control. About 5 rows in, I felt fulfilled and ready to rest. I gathered it all in one of my zipper project bags, that thin plastic bag was not going to be enough to protect it as my travel project. I went up to my sewing room and found a better cable needle, one not so huge and easier to maneuver and added it to the bag as well. I had made myself ready for today.
Hubs has an appointment and I will be waiting for a good long bit. I will probably complete one and start on the other, there isn't much of the right one to finish.
There is a feeling of excitement pulling on me heart. I long to find all of my projects that have been set aside and never returned to. It feels like the ghosts of crafts past are calling out to me. Longing to finally be completed. When I finished the Spring Garden memory quilt over a week ago, I almost put another quilt on the frame, yep, I have that many that need attention. I didn't because I was concerned that I would not have time to finish it before my sister-in-law came to visit. I know that when she visits, she will want to work on a quilt or two. She is a very talented quilter! The power of a completed project is incredible.
Accomplishment.
These unfinished projects are battling for my attention. Yet it isn't causing anxiety, it is bringing calm. Silently, out of the now quiet corners of my mind, I am remembering where they all are hidden. Where they have patiently waited for me to have time.
Not all of it is wrapped up in creating, even if I do have too many interests and hobbies, I couldn't be bored if I wanted to. I also have projects that I have longed to tackle and the time factor was never there. When your world of "home time" is limited to two weekend days - if lucky - and all the things to prep for the week had to happen in those days, well... those bigger projects simply get shoved aside. I mean - who has the time.
We have lived here for almost 7 years now, where has the time gone. And there are still boxes that have never been unpacked, realistically they are probably full of things we don't need any longer as we haven't missed them in 7 years. There are closets stuffed with items that need new homes, far away from ours. They have been relegated to the back corners and in unused spaces. I have longed to clean them, I was simply to selfish of any down time to tackle those things. Too many things I have wanted to do, with too little time to do them.
Now, I am trying to find a way to pace myself. I want to do it all and I want it done yesterday. I am ready to jump feet first into new adventures and following dreams, and I will. I need to address this sense of incompleteness first. I need to be intentional and fully present, not distracted and off balance.
Sweet Hubs is going out of town for a couple of days either tonight or first thing tomorrow. I have a feeling I am going to be working on that list. I thought about scooting out of town, I decided against it. I still have one more set of injections in my knees and don't want to risk making them stiff before I go in on Thursday. I feel drawn to spend the time here in my beautiful home, alone. It will be a first for me. I have never been 100% alone in my home. There has always been someone to care for, husband, children, or pets.
Two full days of eating, sleeping, playing, doing, when I want to, need to, feel like it... well that sounds very healing and intentional to me.
Ironically, this sounds like a list of have to's, it feels like the purest definition of self care. Clearing out the clutter externally and internally.
I love this journey of mine. I am so thankful that this is the time I am participating and experiencing in this great learning lab called Earth.
Awesome! 381+
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