Because Freedom isn't Free...

If you love your freedom, thank a Veteran!  And not just today, but every day.  Men, women, and service animals have been serving this country since it's very inception.  They have put their own lives and liberty on the line for us.  It is due to their loyalty to our very beliefs that we are the people that we are. 

I am quite proud to know that I come from a long line of people willing to lay their lives down for their country.  For my country.  I always knew that dedication to service goes back at least a few generations, but I did not realize how far back until I started digging through Ancestry.com and also talking to my family and Hubby's.

My Dad, my grand-Dad's and even further back, my Hubby, my ex, many uncles, cousins, in-laws and nephews so many have proudly stood watch and protected us. 

I struggle with the future, I struggle with our current administration and where we are going.  When I look back at the proud past,  it bothers me that for future generations it might not be such a proud and noble choice. 

My Hubby's uncle passed away on foreign shores on his birthday October 11, he died protecting our freedom.  Every time I see his gravestone, it rips at my heart.  I have an uncle buried at Arlington.  And across the street from where I am sitting now is a WWI memorial. 

When we lived in Europe, I took my son and did many memorial walks.  We've walked Normandy beach, Bastone (the location of the Battle of the Bulge), and stood at the Luxembourg Memorial honoring General Patton, I proudly stood there with the young men that I was guiding through their history.  My pride in the American men and women never wavering. 

I have had the honor of watching our young scouts walk through a WWI cemetery in France to honor our American soldiers laid to rest after serving.  Participated in many memorials around this world. I have had so many wonderful opportunities to participate in and witness the reverence and respect our veterans have earned.

Today as I sit here, there are no words that will describe my gratitude to all those that have taken the oath to serve us.  Because of all those unselfish individuals, I can sit here and type the words that enter my mind.

In 1791 our Bill of Rights was signed.  Generations have defended those rights and they continue to do that today.  It's powerful.

Our Veteran's deserve to be cherished and deserve our eternal gratitude.  From the E-1 fresh from boot camp to the highest ranking officers, thank you!  Thank you for answering the call of your counrty.  To insure we are forever a free and grateful nation.  Thank you for putting your own needs aside. 

And thank you to their families.  As a military dependent and spouse, I can honestly tell you there were many times that I wanted my Daddy to be home, but had to wait.  There were times I did not want to be a married single mother.  There were many times that I sat in fear, listening to the news, waiting for a phone call or letter.  There were times that I hated having to share my loved ones with the needs of the world.  That is sometimes very hard to accept. 

Each time one of the children I've known takes the oath to protect us, I feel overwhelmed with pride and fear.  Several of those young men that I have stood on those historic battle fields and military cemeteries with has now served our country on battlegrounds of their own far from home.  I am blessed that thus far all have come home.  I cannot even fathom the pain for those who did not return.

Many of my classmates have served, this is probably not surprising considering I am a "military brat", a title we claim proudly!  Even today, more people I know have served or serve than not.  And I am a full decade away from that life. 

My sweet Hubby served so long ago.  Long before our lives intersected, back when it was far from popular for our young men and women to do so.  Probably more so because we knew not what we were fighting for and because it seemed we were dooming our men and women simply for a political game.  Despite it all he signed up, he wasn't drafted (he joined the military because he was tired of his mother telling him what to do - probably not the best reason to join the military - guess no one told him how much they were going to tell him what to do!).

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of his determination to thank everyone that has served and is proud enough of that service to wear a hat, vest, or even simply have veteran plates.  My sweet Hubby walks up to complete strangers and always thanks them for their service.  He proudly wears his Vietnam Veteran hat and shares his stories with all his brothers and sisters.  I usually stand silently by, so proud, but not intruding.  Because I cannot understand what they are sharing, I wasn't there. 

Last night, was one of the very few times that I have ever heard anyone thank him for his service without him saying something first.  In that tiny little diner, a man eating with his mom and son, took one look at Hubby's hat and without hesitation reached out his hand and thanked my sweet Hubby for his service.  I know it doesn't happen often, and though he didn't say it, I could see the look of sheer gratitude in those soft blue eyes. 

I am the wife, daughter, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, sister-in-law, aunt, friend and much more to Vet's, and I am so proud to be able to say that!

Thank a Veteran, they have given so much, it's the least they deserve!

Goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come...

So maybe I have an over active imagination or possibly I have read far too many of the Laura Ingalls Wilder stories.  It might have been the numerous historical signs scattered every few miles down the most barren parts of I-70 heading west from St. Louis.

In my mind, my horseless covered wagon was carrying me out west, to Kansas City.  I could imagine countless women and girls sitting in their wagons fingers moving much like mine were.  I was knitting a pair of wristers, using the busy activity to keep myself from going crazy during the almost 250 mile drive.  As we passed the various historical markers, I found myself wondering about the people that had headed west, settling those little towns that still remain today. After you crossed the Mississippi and started heading west, Kansas City was the next stop.

I had lived in Kansas City over 32 years ago.  I had been a fourth grader when we lived at Richards Gebaur AFB.  I don't really remember it, I do remember our huge yard where my sister and I played for hours.  I remember discovering a rather strong allergy to bees.  And I vaguely remember our neighbor, it seems she was the one that made those yummy Popsicle cubes that were made in ice cube trays with tooth pick holders.

When we lived in Colorado Springs, several decades ago, I had driven through numerous times while driving back and forth to St. Louis.  But this was to be the first time I have spent the night there in over three decades.

As I was thinking backwards in time driving down the highway, I was remembering and imagining the past.  Some of it was my own memories, some was the history buff in me remembering what I have read over the years.

The names of the little towns had me smiling, some of those little towns are so small that if you blinked you missed them.  Completely.  I had hubby's hat on, blocking the sun from my eyes so I could finish the last wrister despite the setting sun and our forward journey west.  I was thinking about the Kansas City Star and all the quilt patterns that they had printed for those homemakers of old.  Wondering if those industrious women had been knitting mittens and socks to keep their families warm during the coming winter. 

Just outside of Independence I-70 becomes known as the Truman/Eisenhower Highway.  Missouri has given us a few presidents after all.  Kansas City was glistening on the horizon.  I got distracted for a bit.  What a difference Kansas City is from St. Louis.  The only part that looked familiar was the highways, I guess those haven't really changed in over 20 years.  I started snapping pictures and stopped day dreaming...

When it happened, just as my brain was starting to move back to those beautiful quilt patterns, those busy ladies working to keep their families warm, but adding sheer beauty at the same time... there right before me was the Kansas City Star.  Now I am not sure it's in the original location, but the connection with where my brain was was jolting!

Our hotel is great!  I am going to really enjoy the next two days!  Hubby will be working, me... well I brought my spinning wheel, lots of fiber and a bag of yarns.  I have a lot of creating that I want to do, and I am looking forward to taking my time and getting it done.

There is some true beauty here in Kansas City, and Hubby and I got to go enjoy a short drive tonight.  The Power & Light District was spectacular!  Although the little bitty greasy spoon we found in the Art District had my complete attention. I promise we weren't cheating on our favorite greasy spoon in St. Louis... but we just completely love those little places that have survived despite the modern world trying to squeeze them out.

Tonight we will curl up and watch Killing Kennedy, Hubby is a history nut too.  Day 3 of six... I am completely enjoying this break!

Unplug, sit back and hold on tight!

It has been the best two days!  Absolutely wonderful! Cool, crisp and clear, the remaining leaves turning and falling as they swirl in the breeze.  It's been the perfect start to six days off.  I have had time to slow down, take a long motorcycle ride up the Great River Road, and simply unplug. 

This is the first time I have picked up my laptop today.  I didn't even check email this morning, unheard of for me.  God has truly blessed us with a mild fall, sunny and mostly warm.  So Hubby and I have grabbed every minute we can to ride.

Yesterday was a putter around the house kind of day, I finished the snowman hat, oh my goodness is that one absolutely precious! Made my boys a huge batch of chicken jerky treats. Did several loads of laundry.  And even found time to take a nap after having lunch with my sweet Hubby.

Frosty Hat

 Then I started preparing for the next few days.  I am going to take an assortment of projects with me to Kansas City.  I cleaned up my spinning wheel, it's been sitting in the corner looking sad and forlorn.  After dusting all the spindles and oiling all the moving parts she is purring softly, ready to help me create soft beautiful yarns.  Then I set about gathering all the brilliant wool blend rovings and a few alpacas to take with me.  I am so excited to see what the next few days brings forth.

Freckleberry dyed by The Yarn Geek

I have started gathering the yarns and needles I need for the drive.  I am working on some fingerless gloves.  I have orders for three and then I want to make a few for the next craft fair I am doing in December. I finished the first pair last night.  It felt so nice to have the smooth wood of my needles in my hands again.

The evening ended with some quality time with my son.  That was such a perfect way to wrap up the day. Although I was a bit stunned to discover my other three boys had not decided to leave me much room to climb into bed as the day had turned into late night.

Boy 1, Boy 2, Boy 3... no room for me...

This morning started out with thrifting and rummage sales with Hubby and friends.  I am not as big a fan as Hubby is, but every now and again there are real treasures to be found.  The first big rummage sale we were lucky to discover a set of brand new flannel sheets.  I love the feel of flannel as the days get colder.  I also managed to find some awesome baskets, these were free... oh the things that people throw away.

Can't wait to finish this up for Hubby!

After a quick stop home off we headed to Savers, gotta say I love that store!  We dropped off a donation before strolling through the store.  They give you a gift certificate when you donate, so that saved me 20%, Hubby being a veteran saved another 20% off that.  I was so thrilled to discover a partially finished lap quilt, it's the American Flag!  I am going to finish that up for Hubby to put in his man cave, whoever started it was quite skilled and it is so beautiful! I also found several yards of fabric to use for a couple of quilts I am working on for Christmas.  A few CD's and $12 later, and we were headed home.

I thought for certain that our day of 'savings' was over as we headed to drop our Escape off for an oil change and tire rotation.  Hubby remembered receiving a coupon in email so he grabbed that.  Wow, this lucky day did not want to end, it saved us a full 50% off auto work. 

We ran into my baby sister and her hubby and visited for a bit (even saw another sisters ex-husband - it's been 10 years, we let it stay that way).  They both looked great and seemed so happy and relaxed.  I know things have been crazy for them for a while, and it was good to see them looking happy!

Hubby and I took off to chase the colors of fall.  And we found so many!  We followed the Great River Road and decided to explore Alton, Illinois this time.  Usually we simply pass by, today we made the right.  It is a beautiful , the hills are steep and the views are spectacular!

Here's a Hubby telling me his hair is a mess... snap quick!

After a bit of exploring we found a nice little spot to have a quick lunch, we will definitely head back to Mac's when we are in that area.  A bit more exploring, snapping pictures of the beautiful homes, the view from some of the highest overlooks in the city, suddenly we realized we'd managed to burn almost all of the sunshine for the day. 

Home was about 45 minutes away and so was sunset.

We pulled up our leaf covered drive a few minutes before the sun dipped below the horizon.  Sure we should have finished cleaning up the house, packing for our trip, raking leaves and mowing the grass.  But we would have missed so many amazingly, wonderful memories... I'll take the memories any day. Life is simply too short!

Leave my clock alone!

The best part of Daylight Savings...

I would like to go on the record stating that I hate daylight savings time!  I am sure there was a time and a place for it in someone's mind.  But in this day of electric lights, 24 hour stores, etc... well I have to say I feel it is out of place and time.  In fact I do believe it messes with my electric bills even more.  Not to mention what it does to my sleep patterns for days on end.

Here it is four am and I am awake, I've been awake for over an hour.  Now not all of that is linked to the time change.  Except that I naturally wake up around 4:30/5:00 in the morning anyhow.  It rarely matters when I manage to fall asleep, that is simply when it will be time to wake up.  Okay, not a problem, unless the daylight savings time has occurred.  Then I am up even earlier in the fall, and feeling sleep deprived in the Spring.  Not to mention that night all the sudden falls in the middle of the afternoon.

If I wasn't the kind of person that really requires four seasons, then I would have to admit that Arizona was sounding tempting. I have discovered I have a strong need for all four seasons, I am not someone that thrives with just two or three.  And I am fairly certain that Arizona, simply has hot and hotter.

Today the reason I am up so early probably has more to do with the two big dogs that were cold and cuddled up with mommy, without realizing they were literally pushing me out of bed.  And a hubby with a slight head cold snoring.  Those two things combined with the stupid time change have ganged up on me to insure that I am awake at an unholy hour.

Not how I planned to start a nice 6 days off. The game plan was to sleep in, clean up the house, get a nice dinner planned and cooking, do the laundry, finish the hat I am working on, finish my mystery quilt, write my blog, plan my Christmas list, etc... maybe even start filling out my Christmas cards so they were ready to mail. 

Okay, so maybe I have a relaxation problem... but those things all make me happy! So I guess that I am just going to get started a bit earlier than planned... what makes it worse, is that I was supposed to open for one of my staff today, and one of my peers said they would do it, so I could enjoy my "Friday" after working so many straight days.  And here I am awake... such sadness...

 So who's with me?  Let's start a movement... pick a time and stay with it!!

Prayers for loved ones...

Well... hello... I missed everyone!  I am so sorry that I have been away so long.  Seems that this particular week has been the toughest I have dealt with in a long time.  Brain fog is no fun, and it's hard to keep a consistent thought going strong.

It's been an emotional roller coaster, a time of serious thought about the changes I am finding in me, and it's all been in a blur.

As it gets progressively colder here in the Mid-west and the beautiful tapestry of colors that surrounds us is fading into a rich deepness with the bare branches shining through more and more.  I am finding myself praying harder for family and friends that I love. 

One dear friend lost her father-in-law to cancer, she'd lost her husband to it just over two years ago.  Another one came and told me he lost a cousin earlier in the week to the same. Another on Facebook is helping her father struggle through his treatments. Another dear friend told me there was mention of ovarian cancer... that about sent me off the deep end!

Cancer is insidious and it is amazing to me, that in this world of ours we can't spend more time learning to defeat it at every turn.  I am sure the knowledge exists and I am sure the funding exists.  We can build machines to send people into space, we are creating microbots, and still it is growing. Claiming more lives like a giant monster!

Why?  Is it a big money maker for pharmaceutical companies?  Do we really not value human life?  And please do not get me started about the disaster that is Obamacare!  Because I for one know what it feels like to pay a large amount for my healthcare (by choice) to lose all my doctors in one fell swoop.  I have to start from scratch again.

I am concerned that our country and others simply don't care.  They are focused on things that will make a few rich beyond words, and they will get the elite medical care, and they will get the best of everything.  And the rest of us... who cares.

We can't cure cancer?  Why not!!  I wish more people would demand it!  I am sure that we can, I am equally sure there is a reason that we aren't. And I just don't get it.  You give money to charities to help a cause, but how much really ends up going to research?  I used to be a huge supporter of the Komen Race, it started as such a powerful fundraiser for something important to me.  Now more of the money raised goes towards the events and less and less is going to the research.

I hear where our government and huge corporations have grants available for the study of every stupid thing on earth.  And I do mean stupid... who cares what earthworms do? Lets focus on stopping cancer, and then work our way through the rest of the illnesses that are wiping us out. 

And I am not just saying that about cancer.  It's just been one heck of a week of it! I firmly believe that our "solution" to most medical issues is to throw increasingly expensive medicines at it, to mask it, but not cure it. 

I know for myself personally, I decided over a decade ago, that I was not taking the "prescribed" course.  I wasn't living a medicated life.  Strangest thing... I stopped and started to get "better". This week is a solid reminder that it isn't cured.  But 90% of the time, I am able to forget.  I will take that. 

This leads me to a dilemma... are we truly trying to cure anything?  Or are we using it as a way to control population? Is that why our government really wants control of our healthcare?  Or do they truly care that people are suffering?  Because all people have always had access to health care, it was their choice how they received it.

I need to say another set of prayers this morning.  I hope that if you are a prayerful person you will be kind enough to include my dear friends in your daily prayers.  Regardless of your beliefs, I believe in a very powerful God, one that has already laid out the plan and is in complete control!  I am aware that not everyone feels that way, but if you are a believer in anything more powerful than us, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Why yes I will have cheese...

With my whine... I don't usually whine, but today... Today I am going to!  Since March 17, 1997 I have lived with pain.  I don't usually complain about it, give in to it, nor even acknowledge it.  That would give it more power than it deserves and I will not do that.

There are times I might cringe when touched, because there are times that the slightest touch is more than I can stand.  I will wear clothing that is loose and flowing, because I simply cannot stand to feel anything against my very tender skin.

There are times that just the thought of moving is more than I can take. And there are times that simply remembering how to spell my name takes a great deal more than I can manage. There are days that I cannot bear to lift my arms or move my legs.  When my sight is bothered and even my hair hurts.  There are days that any sound at all is almost too much and will make every fiber of my being feel electrified, when light is simply too much.

There are times when I simply do not have the energy to consider moving and can fall asleep in a moments time.  When the exhaustion is so great that there is no amount of coffee that will keep me alert and sleeping for days won't help either.

Mostly it is small things, usually one at a time, things that are easier to mask with a smile and laugh.  I know that my body cannot take too much, I know that lack of sleep will make me suffer.  I know that drastic weather or time changes are not a good combination for me.

Today... well today I want to whine... because today has been a struggle.  There was stress involved in yesterday.  And stress is like a magic bullet for me.  Hubby does so much to help me be stress free, I am fairly certain that is why I don't suffer as much as I used to... Today has been a really tough one.

It started out fairly good, quilting time and hubby took me to work the long way on the back of the Harley!  Sunshine, beautiful colors a perfect mix of peace and beauty.  I was short a staff person, so I spent most of my day taking care of that kind of stuff.  That was when I realized the day was sliding off the cookie, so to speak. The aches started washing over me.  Uh Oh!  If I were home that would have been the signal to call it quits for the day, but I wasn't, so I kept moving forward.

Then I started struggling to remember, numbers, things I was doing.  I couldn't remember for a minute how to operate the elevator... and I was giving a tour.  Yikes! The concentration involved to make it through was enough to give me a headache.

I hate when it happens, it is annoying, terrifying, painful, and just plain unpleasant.  I should have known, I should have altered things.  I know what "controls" it, I know what makes it angry and ugly.  I wasn't paying attention.  Drastic temperature swings, "falling" back, stress, long week... stupid, really, really stupid!

There were bright spots, I got to see Super S's quilt, she is unbelievably amazing.  I was able to fix all the spelling and math errors as my brain was clearing. By the end of the day when hubby picked me back up for a motorcycle ride home I was feeling a bit less unsteady.  As the sun shone down on me and I was able to absorb the beauty all around me, I could at least feel the fog leaving.  The pain is still there, the overwhelming exhaustion, but it is fading a bit.  I am sure that after some sleep it will mellow, maybe not completely, but enough to allow me to function for the next five days. 

Five days, that is all I have to make it through.  Then I will be able to rest for a few.  It will make a difference.

Thank you for letting me whine a bit... and for serving the cheese... I don't often let it get to me, today it did.

Upside Down, Downside Up?

 Whew, what a day!  It started out at a full run and didn't slow down until about 30 minutes ago.  The racing feeling inside is slowly starting to cool down.  I am thinking about making a cup of tea, just so I can sleep.

Not much sleep last night, picked my guy up from the train station after his trip to Chicago and simply couldn't go to sleep for wanting to hear all about his travels and adventure.  Then I ended up sleeping through the alarm this morning.  Yikes!  Not a good thing, given that this was going to be a busy day from the minute I woke up, and I had just lost 52 minutes to start the day.

Rushing around to make cookies and soup to take with me for my class today, worrying that I would not get everything done. Feeling my day was spinning out of control before it even started.  How very stressful! Hubby to the rescue...

He helped me load everything, he drove me to work and helped me to unload everything and get my building completely ready to go for the day.  All before rushing off himself to watch the oldest of the twins run, hoping to make State again.

Then there was the mystery quilt class.  Five women had signed up, but due to various reasons it ended up only being two.  We sure had plenty to snack on and time to work.  I kept getting called away, which was frustrating, but I knew it was a serious possibility when I scheduled the class.  We didn't get finished, but I will post pictures as soon as I get them.  All of us picked very different fabrics and one sweet new "friend" even chose to make the queen size, instead of the lap size.  I cannot wait to see that one, the colors are so brilliant and bold. Unlike any colors I have seen chosen. I am excited to see how it turns out.  My favorite quilting buddy "S" was there too, and ironically she chose almost the identical colors that were my second choice.  I opted for snowmen and snowy fabrics, but the red/green and holly were calling my name, I just ignored them.

Deb stopped in to check out the location of her upcoming class.  And amidst piles of fabric, snippets of thread and a bit of laughter we came up with a series of classes that she is willing to donate her skills and talents to teach!  I am simply beside myself with excitement about that!

Wild phone calls, crazy drives, stress, laughter and chaos later, I am now sitting in my living room calming down.  My nerves aren't snapping, the sharp edges mellowing. Shortly I will head to bed, tomorrow is another busy day.  With work, quilting and finding time for those I love and miss spending time with...

What a day... I even managed to miss my cousin's online party... bummed out about that... but tonight I get to gain an additional hour of sleep and tomorrow is another day!