understanding the protests...

I have a few minutes to savor my coffee and munch on my breakfast before packing my lunch and maybe dinner for work. It's been a series of long days.  A series of days filled with uncertainty and pain.

Hubs keeps telling me we are living in the end days.  Several friends seem to always agree with him, yep I'm on to you Miss B.  I am not sure I agree or not.  I am struggling with understanding what is going on in my area and the world as a whole.

I hear and see such a mixture of things.  I am trying to stay neutral.  I'm trying to observe and be objective. I see hurt, anger, fear, hopelessness and hopefulness.  I see people struggling with who they are and who they want to be.  Everywhere I look I am seeing opposite sides of every coin.

Each side is right, from their perspective.  I am finding far too few voices and people that are willing to look towards finding the common ground and building from there.

I don't have to see everything from your lens to appreciate your point of view.  And I don't want you to see everything from mine. What I am searching for, in the midst of all the chaos and feelings is that common ground.  That spot where we can all come together, agree on something important to us all, marginalize the external items that are not part of that common ground, and build something great together.

I fear that far too often we allow those external forces to over-ride common sense.  That little voice in our head that is shouting for us to listen.

Since slightly before our national election I have limited my exposure to news sources, it's been entirely by choice.  I felt that I was becoming a news junkie and I was also feeling slightly brain washed. The past week has caused me to dive back into the chaos.  I have a facility in the heart of the Downtown region, I need to know what is going on.  I have staff and members that I want to be able to support and listen to.  To insure that if they are concerned about their safety I am hearing them and if they simply need to talk that I am able to be a part of their conversation.

I am not doing well with being back involved with the influx of information. I feel my FMS starting to flare, too much input of stressful information, too little sleep.  And the anxiety of being able to see both sides clearer than I want to and not knowing how to move forward.

I had a powerful conversation with one of my staff on Tuesday.  I didn't have to agree with everything she said, although I found it to be a very thoughtful, non-aggressive conversation.  And I did not expect her to agree with everything I said.  For the first time since moving to this area, I found a glimmer of understanding of the deeper and truthfully darker side of the disconnect in this community.  Something I have felt since moving here.  I can't say I completely understand it.  I don't know that you can completely understand another person's thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams.  I feel it is impossible, which is where that feeling of seeing opposite sides of the same coin comes from.

I finally felt a bit more understanding.  I still feel that protesting and rioting is not going to solve anything.  On any side of things.

When you take it down to a far smaller place than a crowd in the streets blocking traffic for attention, when you take it down to that place that every mother on the planet knows and understands.  There are grown people that are desperate for someone to hear their pleas, to see that they have a need that is not being met and they are searching for that "mother" that understands each and every cry.

The moment you hold your first born child you quickly learn, usually within the first few hours, what each whimper and cry means. The length of the cry, the depth, the tone.  Each one means something very different.  Hunger, discomfort, diapers, a need to be held, a need to stretch out, a need to be swaddled because of insecurity and fear.

When they hit the terrible twos... my personal favorite age... they are only losing their minds and throwing a tantrum because once again they have a need that isn't being met.  Maybe because they don't yet have the words to explain the need, maybe because the need itself is something that they don't truly understand.  My personal feeling is that it is often linked back to those same things they needed when newborns, but with the added level of now they are starting to understand frustration and boredom.  The need to be held and to have space has grown to the need to explore and grow.

The teen years seem to keep starting earlier.  All those same needs are there.  They have the communication skills, but maybe not the temperament to clearly define those needs.  What mother hasn't had a stand-off with their child about their plans, thoughts and ideals?  Because even when you understand what they are saying, you are still a mom.  Your baby needs your protection.

Which brings me to where my thoughts are going today.  Those people that are marching in the streets, that are shouting, or silently holding a sign.  Are all doing it because they haven't been heard.  At some point since infancy when all of those basic needs were met without pause, we've stopped listening.

Each of us has very basic needs.  Love, respect, happiness, safety, and a chance are the first things that come to mind.  I have my personal opinions about more tangible things, those are my opinions only.

As a mom, I want my children to feel unconditional love.  To know that whatever path life takes them down, that I will be there to support them. What mother doesn't have that as her highest hope in life?

I want my children to be not only respected, but respectful.  That comes in many different possibilities. I personally raised my babies to follow the golden rule, "do unto others as you would have them to do unto you". Do people nowadays even learn that?  I don't know. But when you can treat others with differing opinions and thoughts than you possess with love, kindness, compassion and respect, magic happens in my opinion.

Happiness... what person doesn't need pure happiness in their lives.  Who doesn't smile and possibly giggle a bit when they hear a babies laughter.  Adults need that also. Each of us should be able to pursue what makes us happy without fearing that we will be judged (unless of course it harms another person and then lets go back to that love and respect thing).  I'm an old fashioned person that loves all the home making skills of old - this makes me happy.  My son is happiest playing computer based games with hundreds of like minded people - that makes him happy.  Each of us needs what will help us grow.

Safety, now that one as a mom, well it lights my hair on fire.  I completely understand the momma bear that will protect her cubs even if it means her death.  I want my child, and every child to feel safe.  I know the horror of lying awake at night fearful for your babies.  Every mother on earth does. No one should have a fear of simply living.  I'm not anti-gun, I don't own one, but if you would like to, feel free.  I have to admit that I am anti-drugs, now understand I also do not truly believe in the government definition of a drug (but that's for a different time). But safety, each of us deserves to feel safe and secure in our environment.  I long for the days of children playing in the park until the lights came on. Without the fear that someone or something could harm them.  And honestly, my children are grown, but I still want this feeling for them.  A child is a child no matter how grown.

And finally a chance.  I wish that I could say my children always had the best of everything.  The best schools, the best clothes, the best food, the best homes.  The truth is they didn't.  There were times where we barely had money to buy mac n cheese (the boxed kind thank you).  My daughter still has horrid memories of the clothes that her mom made for her, our tastes were dramatically different, but it was all I had to give.  Schools, well that is always a crap shoot.  But the one thing I did manage to give them was a fighting chance.  A belief that they could accomplish anything they wanted to accomplish. It's the same gift my parents gave to me.  Some day maybe I will share some of that... Every child born deserves a fighting chance.  An opportunity to have doors open for them, someone reaching out to help guide them.

These are just my opinions, they are just the ideas that are going through my head as I struggle to process things that I don't fully understand or comprehend. It is simply my personal growth process.

I want love, respect, happiness, safety and a chance for everyone.  I also want compassion, understanding, and a personal willingness to grow.  Notice I didn't say I want peace?  I guess in my heart I feel that only becomes possible when we can find a way to achieve the rest.

I would love to hear other thoughts.  All I ask is that they are said respectfully.