Saturday, July 30, 2016

Forward...

Sitting out on the deck with hubs, enjoying this cool morning air, simply not in a hurry to do much of anything.

It's been a crazy busy week.  The past 8 days have been insane.  So much has happened, so many changes, so many emotions.  Just so much.

Over the course of the next six to eight months so much of my life will be completed changed.  I am happy, sad, scared, excited, challenged, energized and full of hope.  All of these emotions and more are running through my heart and mind right now.

The faith that I have is pretty much what will get me through.

I still haven't processed a lot of it, there hasn't been time.  That flood we had back in 2014 is leading to even greater changes.  My wonderful old building full of people that I love and have built strong relationships with will all too soon shutter her doors.  She's put up a good fight, but after 90 years and countless abuses it's time to let her rest.  Looking forward... there is a bright, shiny, future at a new location. It's both near and far, different and the same.

I feel blessed that I have been asked to lead the transition.  I get the amazing opportunity to help the community of people that I adore to make the change.  I get the chance to help guide them forward.  Members and staff both new and old.

I guess I should feel anxious or stressed.  Ironically, I feel none of these things.  I feel energized and optimistic.

Will the future look and feel vastly different, of course it will.

That doesn't make it wrong or bad.  I get the incredible opportunity to continue to be a bridge between those that are seeking, those that are continuing, those with and those without.  How powerful is that?  There are challenges ahead, but they are the kind that give you hope and faith in people.  There are people that need time to deal with all of it, to grieve and to make decisions.  There are others that have embraced the changes and are wholeheartedly planning and moving forward.  And there are others that are somewhere in the middle.  Needing time to process an access.

In the end there is the hope, in the end there is a joy that will lead us into our next 90 years.

Amidst all of the professional changes there are many personal ones too.  This past week has been a series of very long days.  Ironically, they were almost energizing.  I am not worn, tired and weary.  I am not feeling that bone weary exhaustion that has been so prevalent in the past few months.  I have been able to get so much accomplished, both professionally and personally.

I'm sitting here, at the start of 5 days off, it was going to be 10, but well life happened.  Normally, I would feel cheated and down that I would not have the full time off.  I willingly canceled the rest of that time.  I had not issues with it.  Honestly, I am thinking as I try to enjoy my down time, I will be thinking, planning and plotting.  I feel it is going to be a break to allow me to clear my head and focus on the forward motion that is so important.

Hubs and I were planning on a float trip - doesn't look like mother nature is in on our plan.  As today is supposed to be the nicest day that we have.  Lots of rain forecast for the days we are off.  Hopefully we will still be able to get our morning walks in, and then who knows...

In a few minutes we will head out for a nice long walk.  Funny three weeks ago when asked if I felt I could manage to walk just 30 minutes 3 times a day, I was ready to laugh and leave the room.  Now, I get up earlier (even though I am working on a sleep deficit) and get my work out clothes on.  The heat has been horrid, but the feeling has been incredible.  I am feeling stronger, I've regretted the walks that Hubs got to take while I headed to work to cover for my early guy.  I'm excited about all the changes.

There are menus to plan, groceries to buy.  A motorcycle ride to take. A life to bring back into focus.  A new beginning.

Now if I can help the Hubs find that in his world...

I'm feeling that high that a military brat gets.  That fresh canvas, new start kind of high.