Thursday, July 10, 2014

The beauty of a quiet morning

Slowly staggering out the door, exhausted and not at all ready to face the day,  after all it was midnight before my head hit the pillow last night, I started on my morning walk with the big guy.  He's still adjusting to a leash and not taking off at a moments notice.  Walking him is not an exercise for the faint of heart or unprepared.

The sunrise was just a glimmer, barely visible to the east.  A slight lightening of the night sky.  Everything still had that hazy not quite day light glaze to it.  I wish I could have taken the camera and captured the beauty.  Sadly... Walking the big guy requires far too much attention.

As soon as we walked out the door he saw the fawn across the cul de sac.  So beautiful. The soft pale brown with the beautiful white spots.  Luckily, he wasn't sure what to do with a critter slightly bigger than himself.  He stood their frozen, leash taunt, but unwilling to engage in the chase.  Thank goodness, my sleep deprived system was not quite ready for that kind of challenge.

As we headed down the sidewalk, the big guy sniffing everything in sight, I thought I glimpsed a shadow.  Faint and pale, in the mist between two of the houses.  I was sure, and then I wasn't.  The big guy didn't give me a minute to reconsider what I saw, no time to take a second glance confirm my suspicions.  He's still learning to walk on a lead without tugging and pulling.  He is such a bull headed guy, this could be a lifelong process.

As we strolled along, the sun was starting to come up a bit more, the haze slowly clearing.  We'd rounded the corner and were just two houses away when I saw them.  It was enough to scare the big guy even, and he's pretty tough if he feels he needs to protect mom. 

I am not a hunter, nor do I study deer.  But there just two yards away from my own had to be the fawn's parents.  Dad was regal, and those antlers!  They were huge, over 12 inches, that was easy to see, even from a distance. Momma was a bit more skittish, she dashed off first, Daddy was a bit more protective, watching to make sure we weren't going to give chase and that Momma was safe before following her back into the woods that make up the common area.

The big guy was simply not so sure how to feel about that beautiful sight that greeted us as the sun was starting to chase the remaining haze away.  He finally decided he didn't see anything worth giving chase to, that a treat was two houses away. 

The little old man was the next walk.  He's more my speed.  He simply meanders and observes.  He is not going to waste energy on chasing anything.  Unless it has taken his chicken jerky.  With him I would have been able to snap some pictures, if my sleepiness hadn't stopped me from remembering the camera.  With him, I am able to enjoy the songs and chatter of the birds waking up calling to their mates and friends.  As the sun starts it's mad dash across the morning sky, he and I see bunnies, squirrels, robins and blue birds, the houses are still quiet, mother nature is not!

I needed that start to my day.  Yesterday was such a chaotic and roller coaster emotionally.  The silence and beauty had a calming effect on my heart.  My spirit needed that. It was damaged yesterday.

Hubby and I ended yesterday on a high note.  It took the sting out of the rest.  I am blessed.  While Hubby and I went and enjoyed a Cardinals baseball game, the rest of the world mellowed out.  If you live anywhere near or in St. Louis, it does not take long to become a die hard fan.  And as you lose yourself in that sea of red anything that was affecting you soon rushes away.


While we were at the game, my phone buzzed and I gave it a quick glance.  I was tickled to see my oldest baby making faces at me from Facebook. A twinkle in her eyes, brandishing a paint brush.  Seems instead of breaking and entering into homes she prescribes to breaking and painting of homes.  Knowing how busy I've been and not having the time of energy to get it all done, she took advantage of us being gone and painted most of the kitchen for me!  It looks amazing!  Talk about feeling loved!
"Hope you don't mind if I paint your kitchen while you're gone ... Cause it's really too late haha "


 
I will sort out how to deal with the things that have me sick to my stomach.  I don't know what the answer will be, but I do know that I hate the feeling.  I will simply enjoy the beauty and love that surrounds me as I determine how I will fight the demons so they don't consume me!

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