1001...

Good Morning! I didn't even realize that yesterday I wrote my 1000 blog post.  Hardly seems possible. I started writing way back in 2013.  Nine years ago.  Again, hardly seems possible. I started writing because my sweet Hubs encouraged me.  All this time later, I can't remember what prompted me to start.  All I know is writing has helped me through some really low times, it's lifted my spirits even higher during some amazing times and kept me sane through years of insanity.  

Thanks for reading and walking through life with me.  As I sit here this morning with a puppy laying in my lap, drinking cold coffee and knowing I need to get busy I am thankful for each word I've been blessed to write.  For knowing that I had a safe forum to share my thoughts, hopes, dreams, losses, failures, defeats... well all of it. 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

You've got to start somewhere...

You've got to start somewhere... so why not here?  Dreams start when your eyes flutter shut, my dreams have been growing for a really long time... I think I am getting there.

Everything is spiraling so fast out of control and I am reaching deep inside my belief system to slow it down. The "real" world will intrude into my perfect world tomorrow, but I feel as if I have turned a corner, started to walk a different path, one that will bring me closer to blending those two worlds.

b'longa'b... my sweet hubby created that word for me... belongs to b... belongs to ME!  As I am slowly deciding the path that I want to take it is the perfect name for me, for my dreams and the reality that I hope to create.

I've never been sure what drives me to want to connect with my inner pioneer woman, to rebel against the changes of the world.  I am happiest when I am caring for my family and home, nurturing, creating, growing, learning and expanding knowledge of the things we are leaving behind.

I've decided this is my journey to my dreams, contentment, and fulfillment.

I feel like as I sit here we are rapidly going down a path that isn't great.  That will be tough for folks.  Lately, I feel like a harbinger of doom.  While I hope that I am bringing hope.  So much is going on that it's hard some days.  Each time I read of another small business closing after generations building and growing it, my heart breaks a bit.  It isn't even just restaurants, one of my favorite nurseries in St. Louis just threw in the towel. The economy is kicking their butt. 

Hubs ordered my birthday present early today. He decided that I needed the bigger pressure canner, the one he told me to buy in the first place.  My cheap heart balked at it, the extra $50 seemed wasteful until I knew if I was going to love it.  I do love canning.  I am having a fantastic time with the bonus being that we are wasting so little food now and rarely eat out anymore.  Two months ago, that canner was $389.  Today, it was $419.  It made me a bit ill, but I agreed to it, mainly because who knows what it will cost in two months time.

Things are getting harder and harder to come by.  I know people waiting months to get basic car repair done.  Why?  Combination... parts are almost non-existent, fewer workers and people are holding on to vehicles for a lot longer.  Hard to buy new ones when you go past car dealerships with almost empty lots.  I know some areas are not suffering shortages, yet.  I know other areas that are facing bare shelves.  

Ameren (our electric provider) sends me almost daily emails with ideas to manage my electric usage.  Ideas so that the coming spike in costs (they warn me about that almost daily also) will be less painful.  Is there a less painful? Doesn't seem like it anymore. I also heard yesterday that Missouri is one of the states expecting "rolling black and brown outs".  They all of the sudden can't provide enough energy to cool the same homes that were not problem in the past?  Interesting. They can't provide energy for our homes, but want us to invest in electric vehicles.  Again, interesting... 

Guess I'd better get those curtains hemmed and in the windows to block out a bit more of the sunshine,  I probably need to can up a bit more of the stuff in the freezers so it isn't a loss if we lose power.  I probably need to draw the blinds and shutters down a bit more, like we used to in Germany to keep it dark and cool inside. I am struggling to understand these opposing pushes.  If you can't provide basic electric needs, then how on earth can you provide electric for transportation.  How does this make sense?

Well, I'm not trying to bring doom and gloom.  But I have always been a realist, I will always be one.  I'd love to put on my rose colored glasses and spend my days sitting in the treetop garden or creating.  Sadly, I don't believe this year is going to offer that as a solution to life.  There are many sources for my beliefs.  I firmly believe that we are in a very stormy time on our planet (it isn't even just in this country).  In several of my canning groups folks in other countries are talking about the extreme shortages they are dealing with on a daily basis.  The limits on things like sugar (highly important for most jelly and jam recipes).  The extreme increase in the cost of canning jars.  You know those cheap things that people have used for everything forever.  Every time I blink something else has gone up or gotten scarce.  I don't believe it is going to stop any time soon.  

I need to focus on taking care of business.  Of remembering things I have almost forgotten.  And of flowing along with this rough patch in the best way possible. 

We are going on probably our last camping trip for a bit tomorrow.  The cost of gas, which went up another two cents last night, is making it a bit prohibitive at this time.  I've already warned the family in Arkansas this is the last trip for a bit, although they are welcome to come this way also. 

Well, as much as I would like to sit here all day and just rest, yesterday was brutally long and all on my feet, I have a lot to accomplish before we load up and head south for a bit. 

Thanks for being there for me.  For listening to me ramble and for occasionally letting me know that you are out there reading and not just a number that pops up.  

love and peace...