I think most folks automatically assume that when you don't work outside the home all you do is sit around and eat bonbons all day reading books or watching the boob tube, as my dad used to call it. I gotta tell ya, I have been awake around 3 hours, I have yet to finish my first full cup of hot coffee, I've warmed it up about 5 times already. Pretty sure I am going to give up and call it a lukewarm coffee kind of day. I finally got my breakfast smoothie made and I am sitting quietly in the living room typing. We'll see how long that lasts.
I guess I could make the conscious effort to just sit around, to assume that nothing is my responsibility. I'm not made that way. Just because I don't scurry out of the house to work at a job that doesn't bring meaning to my life, doesn't mean that I am not working hard every single day. Even feeling under the weather I still managed to semi keep up. A lot of things didn't get completed though.
I admit when it slammed me a bit harder than it had yesterday evening, I almost cried at the thought of getting out of my comfy chair and making Hubs dinner. I was seriously wanting to be in my bed far more than I wanted anything else in the world last night. I had used all of the energy I had stored up, I was toast. I had done all of the things I wanted to do, I just didn't do all of the things I needed to do. There is a difference.
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| just a bit of the day's satisfaction... |
I could have gone to bed, said fend for yourself. That again isn't who I am. Although I think I went to bed shortly after we had dinner. I didn't clean up the kitchen, not even sure I put everything away that wouldn't spoil. I keep looking at the kitchen this morning regretting that decision. But my body said enough. And believe it or not sometimes I listen.
Hubs had his early morning meeting today. We were both enjoying sitting in the cool breeze that this morning was blessing us with. I puttered in my garden, catching up on the pruning and harvesting. Pulling weeds here and there, while we chatted for a few moments. Stealing what we could from the full day ahead just for us. That little hour flew past, before long he asked what time it was and we realized we had 30 minutes for him to get ready and be on his meeting. How did that happen.
The end result for me? Mega rush time. Made his smoothie, fed my ravenous pups (are they ever full?), gave them their flea, tick and heartworm meds (thank you Belle for being a doll, Beau... you're a brat!) and then rushed upstairs to do the ironing I'd been putting off (still not finished) so he had the clothes that fit to wear. My game plan had me getting my nice hot shower and completing the ironing. Neither of those happened as Hubs rushed down the stairs yelling to me to remember to turn off the sprinkler out front.
That's about the time I remembered that I still had to make his lunch and snacks for the day, he's going straight from one meeting to another all day meeting, and I had less than an hour. So... my game plan changed. The meals got packed and I even managed to gather up the shirts he was giving to a friend and get them in a bag for delivery.
I will get my shower after he leaves, I'll finish the ironing and all the rest of the stuff I have been putting off in just a bit. For now this woman in her late 50's is sitting here looking like she might be a bit nutty with her hair in pigtails (too short still for a true ponytail) has finally stopped for a moment. She's enjoying her smoothie and lukewarm coffee and resting. Plotting for the rest of the day is more like it.
I know a lot of folks that are not part of the work a day world any longer. For a variety of reasons. Retirement, cost of child care, loss of jobs, health, happiness... the list is quite endless. And what I've discovered is that I don't know a single person that falls into that category of sitting around watching television and eating bonbons. Our days might be less structured than when we punched a time clock, but all of us are busier than we ever where when we were working externally.
It seems that we have all been programmed to accept that the only way to get ahead and make a life is to work outside of the home for someone else. I definitely feel like the last two years have redefined that for many people. I am wondering how many of the younger folks that have left the traditional work force are like me. Is it that they don't want to work? Or is it that they have discovered the true value of their time? Are we as a society judging people on a preconceived and programmed notion that they are lazy and wasting their lives and time if they aren't working a traditional job, punching a time clock for someone else?
What I am observing from this side of the fence is quite different. I see grandparents that exited the work force watching their grand kids. The sounds of laughter and children are echoing through out subdivision, something that didn't happen before. I see parents actively engaged with their kids, raising them, teaching them life skills. I am seeing folks planting gardens, and starting up side hustles. Everywhere I turn there is someone offering a service. Maybe folks are simply stepping out of the constructs of life that we have been forced to accept. Maybe they are choosing to be part of a different economy?
A different life that doesn't allow the government to easily take their chunk of everything. We all know how I feel about taxes and how much all of the governments are taking out of your hard earned dollars. Maybe the folks that are choosing not to work at your favorite restaurant, resulting in them cutting hours, have discovered they can cook at home and people will pay them for it? And when you add up gas costs, taxes, low wages (and yes I do believe that is subjective to everything else)... well... maybe it is more profitable.
Maybe they are working as a cash only handyman or landscaper? The local daycare can't find employees? Why not? Is it pay? Working conditions? Hours? Or is it simply that the folks that used to do that have discovered they enjoy spending that time growing their own children? Raising them to be good, independent humans?
There are a lot of things shifting in this world. A lot of people that are waking up, taking a step back from the life they were conditioned to believe was the only way to be successful and realizing that they are super successful in their own ways outside of that.
Am I frustrated to be behind in my own goals right now, yes, will it negatively impact my family no. It is simply a personal goal. We all set goals. Mine are just for me instead of someone setting them for me. Ya know what I have discovered? I work harder and more efficiently, because it is something that is important to me. How many folks at the grocery, mega mart or gas station are feeling that way.
In fact, as more and more Mom and Pops are going out of business, those feelings and attitudes are only going to get worse. The small business owner loves their job, it is their passion, the goals and mission in action are theirs. They have a very vested interest in the success and/or failure of that business. To them you are important. Maybe all those employees that are "missing" from the work force aren't really missing, they are simply choosing a different lifestyle, a different avenue for their skills and labor. Maybe they are re-envisioning the life they want and need. I know I am.
Every now and again I start to feel I should venture back into the traditional work force. I start to doubt that my contributions are making a difference. I let that doubt that was drilled into us since preschool - or maybe earlier, sneak back into my psyche.
I'm guilty, I did it to my kids. What do you want to be when you grow up? I believe it was John Lennon that said no one ever asks if you want to be happy. The quote is longer than that, but that is it in a nutshell.
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| Mom, are you almost done? We need attention! |
I used to live that life of benchmarks, metrics, and set goals. If I tried I could find all the "buzz words" that measured my daily performance and growth lost somewhere in my brain. Guess what, that wasn't my daily performance or my daily growth, it was something assigned to me by someone else to get the results they needed to justify their own goals and benchmarks. I never experienced the pure joy, the sense of pride and satisfaction that I do from walking into my cantry, or putting on socks that I made, or sitting in my garden that I am nurturing to life. The sense of a job well done when I reflect on the humans I raised. Or the pure love I receive from my sweet pups that I am raising to be amazing companions. Or seeing the calm that is now our lives when my sweet Hubs kicks back after a day and we simply enjoy our time together. I have different ideals of success now, and all of them come back to that basic thought... am I happy.
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| Letting Dad know I will finish his dinner for him... |
Yep, I am, I am happy. Today, I feel behind... by tonight I will have remedied that. I'm not really behind, it's simply the state of mind that I feel today. Well, I've rambled enough, it's time to finish this lukewarm coffee and get started on the things that bring me so much joy and bliss. It's amazing the powerful feelings that come from doing what makes you happy.
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