Walking back to the kitchen to refill my coffee cup and sit down to write I started thinking about assumptions. I try not to assume, but I do believe it is a very strong human instinct. Mom's assume their babies are into trouble, no matter the age when they become quiet or distant. I'm sure on a very deep level it's a protective thing, it sure had me scurrying to the other room, hoping they were alright. Wondering what they had joyously destroyed.
I started wondering about the other kind of assumptions at that point. I had a deep conversation with one of my sisters last night and as I was drifting to sleep I was processing a few things that we talked about. Then I was watching a few video's this morning celebrating a child that people assumed would never care for himself - FYI - he's rocking it at life and even has a job now.
A friend posted about her husband's battle with PTSD, he's young - he's seen and experienced far too much, yet with love he is thriving. He still struggles, there is a sadness in his eyes that I never saw when he was a young boy playing in the woods with my son. Even so, he's a great father, seems to be a fantastic husband and a deeply caring young man.
Speaking with my nephew about his new job as a tutor at the local community college he was telling me about his experience with "non-traditional" students, I was deeply impressed with the empathy he displayed. He's an incredibly smart young man, yet he understood this older woman's frustration with technology and didn't assume she was stupid.
How often do we assume things about people without knowing more about it, about them? What are the underlying reasons for things that don't mesh with what we view as normal? Do we meet them where they are with love and compassion in our hearts or do we meet them with judgement because they don't meet our standards?
Sadly, I feel a first instinct is the move back from someone that is different, to step back and assess. Note I didn't say judge, although I know far too many people that do that. I tend to not lean in until I have determined if you are "safe" where I am concerned. For that reason I have often been labeled throughout my life. Now that I am older I don't hear it as much, for a large part because I have grown past that protective shield I once carried at all times. Because I rarely worry about how someone I don't know will judge me, I am me. Like it or leave it, I only need to be true to myself. If I reach out to you in love and grace, then I expect the same in return. If that isn't the case, there might be a time or two more that I will try, but at that point I walk away.
I am not here to make you love, respect, like, appreciate or a million other things... me. I am here to learn lessons, to experience this amazing planet and to live the best life I am capable of. I am here for my soul to grow.
Not a single soul on this planet is perfect. Far from it. Over the past few years I have come to embrace the theory that we are all here on planet Earth to learn. I personally do believe that we return as many times as need be to learn all that we can, to fully experience life. I believe that the soul is eternal. I often wonder if that snap judgement of others or situations lies deeper, in things that we personally have either experienced and learned from or in a reflection of a lesson echoing through time?
All of us have said, done, reacted to and experienced life in many ways. We all have moments that we are not proud of, we all have things that we truly wish we could have done better, there are things that all of us fail at. So who are we to judge or assume anything. If I see you doing harm, I will not engage further with you. I might not engage with you, but I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers and wish good for you, for the reason for things to change or be revealed.
On the flip side, when I encounter someone doing good, I want to join the cause. I want to celebrate and uplift that which is pure. And no I am absolutely not the judge of right or wrong, good or bad. But if your actions are harmful, I will remove myself from the situation.
I'm not sure what Hubs slipped in my coffee this morning that has me being so deeply introspective or if it was simply combination of conversations yesterday that have my brain in overdrive.
I'm in a very calm and peaceful place. I just have questions, thoughts and ideas that I am exploring this morning.
My sweet pups are awake and it's a nice morning, so I think we are going to go for our walk. Let them smell the smells, and run in the remaining snow. We will probably get a walk at the park in also, but that will highly depend on the amount of mud. While I adore snow, and even the rain storms, I abhor mud. That mess... yuck...
I hope that all of us takes that moment to probe deeper when we are faced with an assumption. To learn the real reason behind something instead of looking at the surface as it is presented to us. To not fall into that old adage about the meaning of assume...
love and peace...
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