Wednesday, February 23, 2022

returning..

Welcome to February in the mid-west again this week.  I feel like we have seriously been stuck on groundhog day this year.  It's beautiful and almost spring like the first part of the week, and then Wednesday hits and pow welcome back to winter! It was such a wonderful couple of days so warm and welcoming, this morning it's an awesome 19° with an even colder wind chill and there is snow coming in again.  I love snow, but geez, this month has definitely been a strange one.  Hopefully all my French Toast and bacon friends have stocked up this month, and haven't exhausted their supplies because they might need them again tomorrow.  

The pups and I are going to wait until it is a bit warmer to go on our explorations, none of us are fond of the bitter cold. This morning when I let them out it was absolutely hysterical, Belle literally stopped in her tracks with her toy and her mouth and backtracked she was not about to go outside and freeze. 

I had such a great day yesterday.  There wasn't anything super special about it... but it definitely felt special.  As I prepped the meals for Hubs' awesome team, everything went like it should.  Nothing was wonky or didn't flow.  The pups were well behaved with a house full of strangers, and they definitely were over the moon with all of the snuggles and treato's. The energy of the afternoon and evening was super calm, far calmer than it has been for quite some time. Hubs wasn't feeling too great, he picked up some type of stomach bug in our travels so he went to bed super early once he got home from work.  So the pups and I played and relaxed together for the evening, I even got a large bit of work done on "that" sweater.  

Speaking of "that" sweater, I have firmly decided I am my own worst enemy on it.  I so desperately want to start on the brown one, that I am not fully engaged in that one.  Do you ever find yourself longing to do something else so the current project, activity, event etc, seems like drudgery?  I have two projects going right now that I am balking at.  I can feel myself doing it. I want them done, but get super fussy every time I work on them.  One out of frustration, the other because I want to move forward to the next project. As a result I am finding myself easily distracted and struggling to focus. 

I have a couple of small projects that I haven't finished yet, neither will take much time, I just haven't gotten around to it.  Both will require the pups to be napping or engaged with Hubs for me to do them, Pups under your feet while playing with melted waxes and oils is never a recipe for success.  I think I am going to get those finished today and then I am going to knuckle down and complete my two challenges.  For pities sake one of them is a Christmas gift.  Yes... I am that friend... 

I am feeling like my own energy is clearing and returning.  I've felt a bit out of it for a few weeks, not really having much motivation to do much of anything, and everything has been semi-pushed aside leaving me feeling incomplete.  If that makes any sense.  I hate having things I want to get done piling up because I simply feel blah.  Not sick blah, just energetically blah.  

Hubs and I moved my elliptical upstairs the other day, because I frankly can't ever use it when I have the motivation with it downstairs, my motivation and Hubs work projects seemed to collide time wise. So this morning, I decided before even going downstairs I was going to get my workout in, I haven't been putting much attention into my therapy, along with anything else.  I have to admit, I sort of felt like a rock-star getting 10 straight minutes in, I know that doesn't seem like much, but considering I haven't been able to, it felt like a huge accomplishment. Now lets see if I can keep the energy moving in that direction. 

I am hoping this clearing is more of a universal energy than a personal one.  There is a lot of stagnant and bitter energy that has been hanging around for a good long while now.  I am ready for a fresh start.  I am ready for families and loved ones to start remembering that they are important to one another.  I am ready for neighbors to speak without fear in their eyes, I am seriously ready for the rebirth that springtime brings. 

I feel there is much that needs to come to light, so much healing that has to happen.  I am a rip the band-aid off kind of gal, so... let's rip it, let's expose the ugly and let it heal in the light! I feel like so much has been slowly coming to the surface in my personal life and also throughout the world.  

I never want to return to our old normal, after almost two year, I see it for what it was.  Not my cup of tea so to speak.  I am ready for a fresh cup, I am ready for a rebirth, I am ready. 

The puppies have started that journey for me.  They are forcing me to be out in public, to be around people, to have conversations.  I am finding that I truly enjoy my neighbors, chatting with them, learning about their families and sharing their experiences.  At least most of them. But isn't that life?  I mean it would be terrible if we were all the same and moved in lock step. 

My daughter has been talking about being a trustee for our neighborhood for a long time, but the timing hasn't been great. I asked her the other day if I could nominate her, finally the time is right.  She's been dreaming up ways to build unity in our small little community for years.  I plan to really work on helping her get voted in, I think her ideas might just be what our community needs.  It might just be one of the biggest sparks that brings us all back together.  

Another neighbor started a plan for a tiny lending library, yet another neighbor spearheaded the building of it, we are waiting on approval of the trustees, but it is ready to go.  I am watching this beautiful web being woven, bringing so many folks with immense diversity back to being whole, I am loving it!  

I am not entirely sure what my personal role is in it all.  I am going with the flow.  I mean, the fact that I am actually meeting people and being friendly is HUGE for me. I was not that person.  My coffee cup pretty well sums me up... "Introverted, but willing to discuss quilting"... well quilting or any of my other passions. Maybe I'm not introverted, maybe I just needed to feel safe?


Well, I've rambled long enough today, the snow flurries are starting to dance across the sky and I've exposed my current questions about this crazy mixed up world. Now it's time to settle down, and work on those two small projects while my babies are snoozing. After that... I will work on "that" sweater, it's time to put it to rest. I'll need a quiet project while Hubs naps today - he's taking a sick day to get over his tummy bug. 

love and peace everyone...

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