I'm over it...

Have you noticed it?  Have you been sitting quietly watching it happen?  I'm guilty.  I think we all are to some extent.  Last night I was furious.  I was weary and worn out.  I tried to write this last night, but the anger was far too evident and unrestrained.  I decided that I needed to breathe, to take a moment and sit with my feelings.  To process my thoughts. 

For a long while now, I have observed the silencing of voices.  I have watched in horror as even my own voice has been hushed for the general peace that I thought it would bring. Because I do not like conflict, I don't like arguments or discord.  Both of those things feel like razors to my soul.  I am rapidly reaching my own personal precipice. I am reaching the point that my own temper is nearing boiling. I am fed up with the things that are becoming the norm. It makes me absolutely sick. 

Last night was when things really started to wear me down, I had a hard time even going to sleep, so much was rattling in my brain.  Who even knows if history is real or simply another make believe story, it's always told from the perspective of the victor, so who knows what is real and what is designed as predictive story telling?  The same thing is true of the news, books, and magazines.  Don't get me started on the brainwashing facilities that we call schools. 

Yesterday I attempted to respond to a discussion on Nextdoor, it was in regards to another proposed new tax.  Because the city is concerned that they are not getting as much income as they feel they deserve to offer you the services that they do.  The mayor himself was in the discussion, saying how it was only fair to local businesses that other businesses outside of our city have to charge us additional taxes also.  I spent an hour trying to reply, to ask questions - their site is horrible, it was worse than typing back in the day of dial up service.  I know it was only their site, because I was bouncing to another site while waiting for the words I'd typed to show up.  After much thought and time I was ready to post.  Only to be asked if I wanted to risk publishing it because it wasn't nice to question our political leaders.  EXCUSE ME?  I read their guidelines once again, and decided that I hadn't violated any of them with my questions and thoughts and hit post anyway.  Immediately my post disappeared.  Evidently asking intelligent questions regarding a proposal that will impact my bottom line is a no go.  No worries, FYI I'm voting no.  I am sick and tired of the continual raise to taxes.  Add up the cost of taxes to every dollar you have... it's staggering. 

Have you noticed that logging into Facebook on your phone you get a notice that you are only seeing "relevant" stories?  I'm sorry, but who gives you the right to determine what is relevant to me?  Groups I have followed for years no longer show up in my feed and I can't force them to, I have to go and look for them if I am interested.  Newsflash, I wouldn't have started following them if I wasn't interested.  And for the record Meatball is a beautiful pitbull that I have followed his whole life, and it's none of their damn business why I follow it!

I have family members, that have blocked family, have shut them down for not having the same basic thought process.  They have been ugly and cruel because of people not agreeing with them.  It makes me sick, absolutely makes me want to throw up.  When did we become robots?  When did group think become the ideal of the day?  When did it become okay to treat others in such a horrible manner simply because you don't see the world through the same lens?

I'm sick of it all.  I am tired of the lies, the hatred, the rhetoric.  I am tired of the insanity.  

One of the foodie channels I follow posted a yummy looking brownie recipe, filled with caramel and all the other goodness.  She had to pull the recipe down.  Not because of the recipe, had nothing to do with the recipe.  BUT how dare she mention that she had enjoyed the half time show in the super bowl.  I mean seriously?  She was verbally abused for that statement to the point she removed the post to stop the ugly.  What is wrong with people?  Did I enjoy the half time show, no, but that is simply because it is not the type of music that I enjoy.  That doesn't mean that I would take away that enjoyment from anyone else, I simply didn't watch it.  For pities sake people... STOP! She ultimately had to pull the same recipe one more time before the haters stopped, even removing any comment about the half time show did not stop the madness.  The final posting was simply a picture of the brownie, nothing personal on her own personal page, because you know haters. 

I am weary of haters.  I feel so sorry for those that cannot see the ugly they are inflicting.  Or the reason for it. 

My sweet Hubs called me on his drive to work.  He was astounded at two news stories that he had just heard, disgusted might be a better one.  Evidently the ATF and the Rockwood School district are pushing the turn your loved ones, former loved ones and neighbors in for not doing what they want you to do.  

"Valentine's Day can still be fun even if you broke up. Do you have information about a former (or current) partner involved in illegal gun activity? Let us know, and we will make sure it's a Valentine's Day to remember! Call 1-888-ATF-TIPS or email ATFTips@atf.gov." 

I'm seriously not even remotely sure how to take this, to process it, to even begin to understand what they are saying here. But I can assure you that every cell in my body went WTF?  And I am not saying Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... I am questioning how the first part of that statement can even exist... 

The school district is encouraging calling the FBI for anyone that does not agree with the school board decisions.  Again, excuse me?  You are elected officials, you are not gods, you need to be listening to the parents not dictating and if they disagree you want the FBI contacted?  You admitted to calling the FBI on parents, because they disagreed with you?  

What in the name of sanity is going on in this world? At what point does the insanity stop?  When do people realize that we are stronger together, that it is freaking okay to disagree on any point and no one has to be completely right? 

There is so much that is wrong in this world right now, so many lies, so much hatred, so much ugly.  Too much heartbreak.  I mean to the north of us they are basically declaring martial law because the elected leader refuses to speak with peaceful protesters... geez... 

I have said it before, but I truly have reached my breaking point.  I will continue to blog. I will continue to give as much good out as I absolutely can. If you need me, I'm here.  I simply need to step away from a lot of the ugly, it isn't serving my highest good.  Is it serving yours?  I will have a conversation and respectfully hear your opinions, thoughts and ideas as long as in that exchange you do the same.  Who knows you may present information that after careful thought and review I will adopt into my own thought processes.  Or we may both decide to respectfully agree to disagree and continue to be friends with a meaningful relationship.  

I move we bring respectful discourse back to the table, we learn to listen with our hearts and realize that we are all being lied to, that we are all being controlled.  I don't know why, but I definitely have a few ideas... 

If you need me, I will be peacefully living my life, engaged in activities that bring me joy, that fill my soul with love and a deep sense of fulfillment. 

To steal a line from one of my favorite german shepherds... "B out"... 

love and peace...