out of the silence...

It's so quiet this morning.  The wind has died down to the point that the beautiful chimes out front are making a single tone that lingers until it completely fades.  My sweet Hubs is downstairs, he is "testing" listening to his television and doing some surfing.  I expect to still hear my chimes once he turns it on. 

Yesterday was a good day! Both daughters and a few of the grands joined us for lunch.  A late celebration of Hubs' birthday. He made his "world famous pork steaks" and I made a ton of sides that I could eat.  We had cake and chatted.  We laughed and spoiled the grands.  Seems all our youngest grand daughters love dum dum lollipops and each of them seem to delight in creating little bouquets out of them.  It was a day filled with simple stuff.  Memories. The way life used to be, meshing perfectly with the way life has become. It was lazy and busy all in one.  

And right in the middle of it, Hubs got the gift of hearing.  For the entire time I have known him, he's always said sit on my left, I can't hear so good.  I don't know if the masks have made it more obvious or if he finally admitted to himself that he was missing out on things.  In the past few months he's finally gotten his hearing tested.  The loss in his right ear was profound, the left, not as bad, but struggling to make up for the difference. 

He'd finally committed to getting hearing aids, especially after trying them in the doctors office. I can only imagine how it feels for him.  That is his story to tell and describe.  I am on the outside, watching the show.  And it is glorious to watch.  When he could hear our daughter, who speaks softly, at dinner his eyes lit up.  His smile absolutely sparkled.  You could tell that he no longer felt left out of the conversations.  In fact I might be a bit jealous, I sometimes struggle to hear her, I can't turn up the volume on my ears.  I might have to start asking him what she said. 

Throughout the day, I watched as he turned down the volume on the television, the radio in the truck, he talked softer, he smiled endlessly and even talked in the garage with our son-in-law and you couldn't hear them or the music in the house.  

The sparkle in his eyes, the smile that didn't seem to leave his face.  The realization that he was missing out on so many sounds.  Honestly, it brought tears to my eyes.  Sitting outside and sharing the experience of hearing the wind blowing through the branches for the first time since we have lived here. It was such a profound experience.  And again, I can't imagine what it much be like first hand.  

We took some dinner over to my sister, my niece and her husband, and of course got some snuggles from the newest member of the family.  She is precious and tiny.  She makes the sweetest little coos and she is so alert!  She was simply taking in this whole big wide world. 

The whole time I was snuggling her I was mesmerized by my sweet Hubs.  Who was sitting there watching television, he doesn't hold newborns - they don't seem to like him overly much.  The sound was low.  Where I usually watch it, and there he was watching the movie that was playing. He could hear all the conversations that were swirling around the living room and kitchen. I was standing in the kitchen when I asked if he was ready to go, I didn't have to raise my voice or yell his name. 

In the truck we did a minor experiment, normally the music is so very loud, it wasn't out of orneriness, he truly couldn't hear.  As he set the radio station at the level that is comfortable for me and could hear it perfectly I challenged him to raise the volume to the levels that he previously needed it.  I'm not going to lie when I say I was so excited that he had to stop long before we got there because it was too loud for him. 

I cannot imagine the beauty of the gift of hearing.  I want to understand.  I'm sure it is similar to when I finally was able to say my own name again.  The joy, the excitement.  The need to keep speaking was so strong.  I imagine the need to keep experiencing sounds in their pure clear form is quite the same.

To actually be told "sweetie, could you talk softer, you don't need to yell" in the truck yesterday almost brought me to tears.  One of the reasons I offer to drive often is so that I am to his left and we can have a normal conversation.  I could actually speak in a normal tone of voice and he could hear me perfectly. Not once yesterday afternoon did I hear him ask me to repeat something or to wait until I got in the room.

It was beautiful.  I can't imagine the frustration he was feeling.  I guess I can, I hated when I couldn't speak right and no one could understand me.  It made me angry, sad and I always felt left out.  I imagine my grumpy ole man isn't going to be so grumpy anymore. 

They are almost invisible.  You truly have to know what you are looking for to see them. Yet the power of those two tiny pieces of hardware in changing a life is immeasurable. Actually, in changing two. 

He's been downstairs of almost an hour.  I'm still listening to the wind chimes in the silence. Normally, I would be trying not to hear the movie, show or YouTube he was watching and cringing at the super loud parts. 

I am thankful for the silence.  I am a person that needs it.  I am beyond grateful that he can once again experience the depth of sounds around him.  He thinks he's been loosing his hearing since his forties, I will bet it is closer to his twenties when he proudly served his country in Vietnam.  It's no different than your vision or creaky knees.  It happens so gradually, that you simply don't notice.  Until one day... your arms are too short to read your phone, you struggle to climb the stairs or everyone is asking you to turn stuff down and you are asking them to speak up.  Getting older is hell.  But doing it gracefully is the way to go!

I am so excited for my sweet Hubs.  He will still need to learn to adjust and adapt to different settings and sounds.  But... he can finally hear everything!  He can enjoy the moment without struggling.  I am so happy!

If you could have experienced the pure joy on his face, the radiant smiles as he softly said "I can hear that" so many times yesterday.  You would truly understand how exciting this is.

I can only imagine!