Listening these past few days I have noticed a reoccurring theme.
Creating.
Most of them are talking about the overwhelming need we are discovering as humans to reconnect with our creative spirits. For far too long we have drifted away from being creative. From expressing ourselves and from exploring the things that fill our souls. There is an almost unanimous thought process across all of them that now is the time for us to reconnect. To fully experience things that fill us with passion and fire of spirit.
As the needles glided through the soft blue yarn I let my mind consider the thoughts being put forward. To process what I had heard and how it applies to where we are now and were we are going.
I felt the sheer pride of accomplishment as I slid the last bind off stitch off my needles. The hurry part of me. The need for immediate satisfaction almost rushed upstairs and and simply steamed it. Ignoring the directions to do a wet block. I mean who has the patience for that? In 2021... I do. Even if it kills me. I don't have the blocking forms, I've never had the patience. In fact it killed me to sit it down, to order the blocks and pins and wait. I cannot wait to see it finished. I've never completed a lace shawl before. Yet, it is lying at my feet on the ottoman waiting. I feel strongly that I want it completed properly.
I am taking a moment before starting the next project. As I sat still over the past few days I felt an overwhelming need to complete projects. My world is filled with many. Pretty sure the next one will be the pair of socks that has been driving me crazy for almost a year, if I can find the pattern. I seem to have misplaced it, one full sock in. I didn't understand the need to complete these things. I am always surrounded by projects in different stages of completion. Most often it is because the world gets too big and I lose my focus and motivation.
Listening to the speakers, what resonated with me the strongest is that we have been programmed to be doers. Always busy on "important" things, i.e. work, chores, checking off boxes. And for the most part the deepest part of us, the part that calls for us to be creators is somehow stifled. It isn't as important. Creating beauty, in any form is often frowned on except for those that are at a point of having the luxury of time.
I started reflecting back on the year that was.
I remembered the weird confusion of feeling blessed to have my job, still collecting a paycheck and able to take care of my responsibilities, mixed up with pure jealousy of those that were at home. I have longed to be able to be at home and live in my creative world my entire life. I struggled hard looking at all the loaves of bread being baked, the meals that people were taking the time to prepare since they could not go out to eat. I have a large number of very creative souls that surround me and each day my Facebook filled with pictures of creations, my email with messages of people learning to play instruments, writing books and poems.
I watched with a mixture of joy and jealousy as all around me people found creative ways to not only express themselves but to create community and fill basic needs.
As I personally struggled through I couldn't bring myself to fill the hours with creativity. I wanted to, I tried, but I felt blocked. Strangled. I halfheartedly completed my cooking class, I love to cook, but my heart had checked out. I killed the only batch of sour dough I attempted. I used to make so many loaves of bread, it was almost a passion. The soaps I made were okay, but it felt like a chore. Not something I love. I got out supplies to knit, crochet, sew... and that is as far as it went.
Sometime mid-summer I started to long to create again. I found myself winding balls of beautiful yarns, some of which I had spun myself. I ordered roving and in the pure heat of summer spun and knit my sweet Hubs a Harley inspired scarf. Knowing he would wear it during the winter cold.
I think I mentioned yesterday how many people gave me homemade gifts. Things that filled my soul with love. One neighbor blessed me with the same gifts she'd given her family, to thank me for spending a lazy Sunday teaching her to sew. Each item was made from things they grew or gathered in their garden and with treasures from a grandma that had passed on.
Over the past few days I've had people asking me to teach them to crochet, to knit, one grand daughter wants to learn to make soap. A sister reached out wanting to learn to quilt, another to crochet (lucky for the one wanting to crochet that the sister wanting to quilt is extremely talented at crochet and lives far closer than I do). I wish my sister that is so talented at photography would further explore that vision that she has.
Are we truly here to create a life that is full of energy, creative and calm? Are we here to work together collectively to share the good in life. To not check boxes?
My whole life I have longed for a simple time. I've always felt out of place. I have never had career aspirations. I've always dreamed of a place and time where we could experience life, where it wasn't about having enough to survive. I'm not driven by money. I'm driven by experiences, knowledge, creating and sharing that knowledge. For a non-people person, I am incredibly drawn to people, to creating community.
How many others are the same and simply have been afraid to explore it?
Sweet Hubs refinished a desk over the past few months. It is not a fine piece of furniture from a shop, it is pre-war, definitely hand made and it is wonderful! It was no doubt assembled by a man (or heck I'll be radical - woman) for use in the family home or office. Years of finishes were built up on it. Burn marks in the top, in my fantasy world were put there when the man's cigar rolled out of his ashtray while he was busy into the night. I fell in absolute love with that desk.
He did such a beautiful job with it, every time I am downstairs the hours of his labor reach out to me. He has every reason to be proud of it. I love to see the lights glowing off of the rich, warm wood.
He is also very musically inclined. He doesn't think so, feels he is too old to pursue the things that he slid to the side when life demanded his attention as a younger man. We were at my favorite local shop full of crystals, tarot cards, candles, incense and so much more one day. When he came upon a set of chimes, as he played I felt so much calm and peace in my soul that we bought them. I didn't care what the cost was, it was so beautiful and calming. I don't get to hear him play often, I am usually still asleep when he is playing them in the man cave, but when I do, I feel calm and peace fills my heart and soul.
I considered getting him a tongue drum for Christmas. And sitting here now listening to the beautiful sounds of a Hang drum... oh the possibilities are endless. But it is for him to decide what creative journeys he wishes to follow.
Creativity to me has always been a second nature. I have many passions and I am always wanting to learn more. I am always willing to help others learn. I mourned when arts were removed from schools, I've hated life moving in and us as humans giving up on creating. Walking through stores to pick out things pre-created for us. To surround us, to listen to, to eat, to clothe ourselves with, to tell our story.
I am very interested to see how this story of ours unfolds. I firmly believe all of us are here at this time in history for this moment. Each of us has a role to play. Maybe the slowing down of life was deliberate. Maybe it was to allow us to reconnect with our humanity. To reconnect with our communities.
Life was not simpler in the time before, it was hard work. Yet my Little House spirit longs for the community to gather to lift each other up, to plant gardens, quilt the coverings of our beds while we connect, listen, support and grow together. To listen to someone play an instrument, as we cook together and care for one another.
I'm all about creating. Not just material things, but creating the very fabric of life. Souls are meant to be connected.
good one! 381+
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