My sweet Hubs is feeling so much better. He looks great and will go back to work tomorrow. You can't even tell that a week ago he had a major medical emergency. It was a wake up call. He's done great slowing down. And for a change he didn't even open his computer to do any work. I am probably more shocked about that than the fact that he has given up tobacco - again!
His smile is back to being even and he can even say fifty-fifty without slurring. Yep... I am a pretty darn happy woman!
The past three days have been a bit been all about normalizing. About looking at life as it is presented and looking at how to move forward. How to normalize the changes.
Hubs is taking some major steps on his new path. And I am so proud of him. I know it isn't easy to give things up. Especially things that have been a part of your life for a very long time. Like decades. We've been doing some walking, resting and general us time. It's been wonderful.
The B's came over on Friday, we had a fabulous dinner, introducing them to one of our favorite places. Joking with the Hubs, seems he would do anything to crash girls night. Including end up in the hospital. He's a welcome addition to the B's, so I didn't mind him being there at all.
I needed my B's this week. It's been a tough year and the past week has not made it easier. I needed that laughter and silliness. The deep conversations and the shallow giggles. I am so blessed that I have both of them in my life. They balance me. My B's are my most recent sister's by heart. I have a few others. I don't make friends easily, I am fairly certain that I have trust issues. If you have become one of my Sister's by Heart... well plain and simple - that is what you will always be.
My other two are far away, but easily reached by phone or email. Each of them is a part of my make up, my very being. I think that is one of the things I will miss the most, is not seeing the final one daily. All of us will be in different spots. But it's okay, we will always be connected by that invisible bond that made us sisters by heart.
We sat out back and soaked up the earthiness of a warm summer evening. Sipping our beverages of choice and talking about hopes, fears, the past and dreams. Upcoming journey's and changes. Grand babies and sweet Hubs and the scare he gave us all.
One of my B's had to leave early, she was off to do good - she is honestly far too good for any of us. Always the first one there with a kind word, compassionate hug or simply a helping hand. I wonder if everyone else that encounters her realizes that they are in the presence of pure good? She's endured more than most of us will ever live to see... yet she always has a smile on her face and love and compassion in her heart.
My other B, she stayed the night. Morning found us all sitting on the deck, drinking coffee and watching the sun rise. I had to go to work for a bit, but she and her half of the Hubs definitely had a fabulous time in my absence. We laughed and cried, we were honest and philosophical, I don't know that we solved the worlds problems, but we definitely had opinions about it all.
I was greedy this weekend. I soaked up the love from these two beautiful women that balance my life. I know that I didn't give back nearly what I received. They both tend to mother me a bit, this weekend, I willingly accepted the gift.
After dropping her back in the city, Hubs willingly took me to the psychic fair. I needed my cards read, I was grasping at straws as I reached for balance. Amazingly, it seemed without knowing my trauma's she was able to tell me what they were and how I could learn and grow from them. It was a blessing. As she talked my heart felt lighter, my fears carried away and courage to face the new grew stronger. I picked an Angel card reading this time. I needed positive and light. I needed affirmation and strength.
After a week spent in flux, with far too many moving parts, I am calm. My sweet Hubs is doing well, better than anyone could have imagined. My MX will be okay without me (I don't think I doubted that it would be okay so much as would I?) and I do have the ability to move on to the newest phase. I didn't go seeking this change, it came to me. It must mean that I am meant to follow this new path. All around me are signs that I was ignoring (I'm not sure it that was intentional or not).
Once I became aware, I also became calm.
The change will still be hard. I am sure there are more tears that will fall from my eyes. But my heart and mind are open finally to what is waiting ahead.
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