The last thing running through my head as I drifted to sleep was my sweet daughter's incredulous voice when I put my coat over my jammies and drove down to her house last night in response to her plea that she was failing at life. She'd had a fuse blow and didn't know where it was or how to reset it. She'd semi suggested that bringing Hubs might be a good choice. Being that I don't often feel that I am failing at life, nor do I often feel that I am incapable of most household repairs, I didn't bother to stir him from his toasty bed.
Her response to my solo arrival? "You came ALONE?? Do you think you know what you are doing?"
WHAT?? I have been doing most of my own household repairs since my early 20's, being the more mechanically inclined in my previous marriage. And she doubts me?
My response, reset the outside outlet that she'd tripped, go to the basement reset the other tripped outlet, teach the brat how to do it, love on my grand babies and head home to lick my wounds.
I mean geez... how insulting. I'm just playing. Although truthfully, how many people feel they can't do something like that?
This morning MY dog decides to bark at 515 am, evidently it was time to wake up. I mean why turn off the alarm? Hubs decides to be my hero and after taking them out carry's the stubborn little man all the way downstairs so he doesn't wake me again.
A full hour later, I am startled into action yet again, as I can hear Hubs yelling, cussing and raising a general ruckus downstairs. I didn't expect that.
As I clear the dining room, I discovered the problem, sweet Hubs was fixing my coffee, or at least trying to. The ice machine on the fridge has malfunctioned. He's standing barefoot in the midst of ice, water and more ice pouring unstopped from the freezer door.
No glasses on and barely awake I truly couldn't be of much help at that moment. Each time he moved his hand away from the paddle it started over. Without much thought my sleepy fingers wrapped around the closest item I could find, the cork from the bottle of wine I had shared with good friends Thursday night.
Hubs used that to hold the paddle in place, we cleaned up the river of ice and water that had flowed everywhere and as Hubs retired to the garage to smoke a cigar and regain a sense of calm, I started researching.
That is how I learn. I refuse to believe that any of us are not capable of conquering the world. At our retreat this week, I heard a few people utter the words that they felt they were being held back by the lack of a college degree. That they could not get ahead due to the lack of a proper education.
I was stunned to hear those words. Maybe I am naive. I don't believe so. I simply do not believe that any of us are trapped at any point in our lives by anything other than our own mental prisons.
This morning, armed with a hot cup of coffee and a willingness to learn and a few basic facts (like the model number of my fridge) I was able to track down the problem, source out the fastest and least expensive place to get the parts and by Tuesday night, I fully expect to have my ice maker working perfectly and not have spent an outrageous amount of money.
At no point does anything in my professional resume say that I am an appliance repair person. In fact there are many things in my life that I have accomplished that didn't come with a piece of paper attached to it saying I successfully completed all the check boxes that someone else determined were pre-req's to being able to complete the task at hand.
I have had to conquer my own fears, had to be willing to open my mind, my heart and sometimes my fists to achieve those goals. But I allow very few external things to defeat me.
Sitting in that room yesterday morning, hearing one of our team make that comment, I felt a sense of frustration that is hard to articulate. I am not an eloquent speaker. In fact, I struggle greatly with public speaking, I am always fearful that I will say something that will be criticized or belittled.
The response to that statement was that we should create tuition reimbursement. That we are not clearing road blocks. We are not making the path an easy one for people to travel.
It made me so angry. Not at the conversation, but with myself. Sitting in that room as one of the leaders, I had the ability to help that person and many others.
Fear held me back. Our society is so focused on that piece of paper and that is something I fail to understand clearly.
Sitting in that room as one of the leaders, I could have raised my voice and spoken up. I could have assured them that they alone had the power to climb that ladder.
Yet, I sat silent.
Hearing repeated conversations that the housekeeping staff did not have the same opportunities as everyone else. I sat there again frustrated.
My peers have degrees on top of degrees. Most of their resumes are an impressive collection of who's who.
Me? I started my professional Y career as a custodian in 2004. I scrubbed toilets, pressure washed floors, washed towels, cleaned up any and all messes. I was invisible.
I don't have a degree. I worked on it off and on for years, moving from place to place, where ever the military felt they needed to send our family. Repeating the same classes over and over until I got fed up.
I took advantage of every single opportunity I stumbled on. I worked hard and diligently. At each rung in the ladder I stayed awhile and worked until I mastered that spot.
Today, I have the honor to lead a group of individuals at our newest Y. These individuals are where the strength and power of our Y comes from. They live and feel our mission, they work together, they support each other and they face our goals head on. It isn't because of my personal successes, it's because of all of us.
Do I always know exactly what I am doing? Nope, sure don't. Do I feel a college degree would change that? Nope. Sure don't.
Should I have been braver? Yes.
I should have risked the shock looks. I should have given hope. I didn't.
Because inside me, just as in all of us, is that scared little girl that is still striving for approval. All of us want to conform, to fit in a mold.
I hope at some point we will all realize that the degree does not define the person. We've been brainwashed. The willingness to continue being a lifelong learner is what defines you.
Now, please understand I am not at all saying that a degree is not necessary. I assure you I want my doctors, nurses, engineers, etc to all have that higher education. There is definitely a further education needed sometimes. But there are many instances in this life where honestly it isn't needed. Hard work is. Might I have more tools in my tool box with that degree? Maybe. It might be easier to find the exact words and/or process that will move me ahead quicker, but truthfully it might also stop me from discovering a better way, because I have had to figure it out on my own, not using a set formula.
At some point in my lifetime, I hope that we stop with the nonsense that everyone needs a degree to be considered successful. We have many people in our country that are working as servers, baristas, custodians, etc. with at least a four year degree that they will be paying for for most of their adult lives. Some of them can't find jobs in the field they studied for, some of them were simply following that prescribed fact that you must have a degree. They aren't any happier. They aren't any more successful.
Not everyone that is a custodian wants or needs more than that to feel successful, and not every custodian is "stuck". People truly need to stop projecting their own personal definition of success on others. Each of us simply needs to strive for what makes us happy. For our own personal definition of success.
This morning, my success was found in learning to repair my own refrigerator. In that simple self sufficient act. Hubs was outside in the chilled morning air checking our cars to insure they are ready for winter. Again major success.
I guess it is the joy of growing older. There are still times that I hang my head in shame because someone else defined success for me. Yet, there are more times, that I will celebrate your success at something that will signify a huge achievement for YOU, and realize that isn't what I need to be successful at life.
I know my girl was joking when she said she was failing at life... but how many people feel they truly are, because they are trying to conform instead of simply succeeding?
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