A cup of hot spiced tea, from the recipe we've been making since I was in my early teens (has it really been almost 40 years ago?) is sitting beside me. The smell of fresh baked cookies is filling the air, the our sweet grand baby needed some, so did Grampa! The smell of fire places burning outside fills the night air.
And after a few really long and stressful weeks, I feel peaceful. I didn't get nearly as much done as I'd planned this weekend. The exhaustion of the past few weeks has been very pervasive. What I did get done though has been a balm to my battered soul.
I've been slightly anti-social when I haven't been at work, and even then it's been a struggle. I have felt a strong urge to wrap myself tight in a cocoon. Not letting anyone but the closest family and friends in. I have felt overwhelmed and trapped. It has been very unpleasant. It's hard to smile when you don't want to. It's hard to battle an invisible illness, that others are making worse, when no one can see it.
Today I sat in my comfy chair in front of the fireplace, my toes warmed and my heart feeling loved. I did hours worth of work, I would have rather been knitting, but sometimes what we want and what we have to do are at odds with one another.
The fact that my loving hubby made me a fire, a pot of coffee and put my favorite chair close enough to warm my toes, knowing the task at hand was making me grouchy and unhappy, made me feel loved and cherished. I do not have words to describe the power of pure love to heal a battered and weary mind and body.
That simple action changed my center. It didn't make the task at hand any more pleasant, but it made it far more palatable.
Tonight the beautiful grand baby called, she needed time with us. That is equally as powerful. So while rocking to some old school music we worked together to bake cookies for our loved ones while munching on the chicken that Grampa cooked and chatting away.
These are the things that compose a life. It's not the mundane, it's not the things that steal our joy, it isn't the stress inducers. It's the smell that fall brings, it's the love we find ourselves wrapped in, it is cherishing our family and close friends. Those are the bits that bring it all together.
I am so blessed!