" It's been an amazing day!"

No I don't wear glasses...

Those are the words uttered by my mini-me as she hopped into the back of the Escape from our final stop for the evening.  I can assure you those are words every grandparent wants to hear!!  She is staying with us this weekend, we rarely have enough time to spend with her, they don't live close anymore and with her in school and us working, weekends are so few and far between.

This one is simply like a little snippet of heaven!  We picked her up Thursday night. Just her and her new kitten. Before heading home we helped Mom get down to her weekend getaway.  Mom's plans got changed and she just needed back up... why yes of course we will do that, because we are simply that way.  Anything for our kiddo's....

Arriving home at night, I was nervous that she would not have enough sleep after finishing her homework.  As I said we live 40 minutes apart so she was going to have to wake up early for us to have time to get her there in time for the 7:45 bus.

Driving in circles around the square (yeah think about that one for a minute), while we looked at the changes colors of the fountain and marveled at the huge moon that appeared to have been hung over East Main street, I realized that not only had she done just fine, but that we had enjoyed a magical day!

As I was bouncing between helping her get ready and taking care of this much too tiny rescue kitten, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, and grateful that I had the day off!  I was pretty sure I am not young enough to do this kind of crazy stuff anymore.  Surprisingly, we all survived, the kitten ate a huge breakfast, drank plenty of water and complained loudly about going back into her house for the day.

Mini-me was so easy to get ready it wasn't funny!  We had gotten everything together the night before.  She was a cake walk, easily taking her bath and brushing her teeth before request the slightest bit of help to get dressed.  Her mom keeps telling me she isn't a morning person... I gotta tell you... I think Mom lies, hehe... she is a dream for Gramma and Grampa.

Trying on helmets

Hubby and I were supposed to pick up our new to us motorcycle, but monkey wrenches sometimes happen.  Instead we went to our place one more time.  It was time to say good bye.  I felt like screaming 30 minutes after we got there.  Whatever I am allergic to out there was murder!  My face was on fire and burning, I could barely see or breathe.   Even if we don't sell it this season, I am not going back down there.  That kind of reaction just isn't worth it.

A last goodbye...

I will miss Kim and her beautiful Lucy (whom I loved on like crazy today), but not enough to suffer being down there.  She is an amazingly friendly and kind woman.  I will miss her.  I felt bad not telling her we wouldn't be back down.  It just didn't feel right to tell her, on such a beautiful day...

Instead we had a long leisurely lunch, with nowhere to be for several hours, and just enjoyed each others company.  It's been a long time since hubs and I have had that much unscheduled time.  It was amazing!  Although both of us were anxious to get our baby girl back.  We had big plans...

Gramps and Big J

Gramps, Mini-me, and Evie... enjoying fish and fresh air

Our dear friends made dinner, it was a surprise for mini-me.  They are two of her most favorite people, and it's been a long time since Big J has made Friday night fish and mac n cheese.  Mini me was beside herself, she was so happy to have dinner with them, she'd been asking for months!!

busy while grampa waited in line...

Wheee... that was fun, can I go again?

With dinner and friends behind us, we were off on another adventure.  We took her to the Stock Car Races.  It was kids night which only made it better.  She'd never been and I'd never been to Belle Clair.  Grampa hadn't been in years, and his best memories were of going with his Dad.  So off we went, not really sure what to expect, but excited just the same!

You mean we get free sno-cones?  yes please

Decisions, decisions... bubble gum please!

It was so LOUD, and so much fun.  Mini-me got to participate in a money grab, she managed to pick up $19.35, not bad at all.  Who knows what she will do with it.  She informed me that she has decided to be a race car driver when she grows up!  Okay... sounds fair, not sure mom will go along with that idea. She wore her ear plugs, goggles and waved her flag for the entire evening, yelling and cheering her favorite car for each round.  I am not sure how she decided, but I am fairly certain it had something to do with the colors each were painted.

No, not a zombie, just a bubble gum sno-cone fan! Blue lips for everyone!

Not really a kid sized hot dog is it?

Can you see the little pink blur?

At one point she asked me to take a picture of her, in her racing gear.  Then she took my phone and sent a text message to mom, that simply read "I'm having more fun than you!"

"I'm having more fun that you are Mom"

A quick stop for frozen custard on the way home and next thing, I know I hear "It's been an amazing day"... she's right, it was!
None of us know how much time we have on this earth, I personally want to insure that if this was all that I have left, they know that I love them.  Gramps was so happy, he got to make memories, and boy did we have fun!

Today has many more fun memories waiting to be made.  She'd requested a trip to the science center, so we will head over there today.  Her and Grampa will do the Omnimax theater.  Gramma will have a cup of tea and wait, I can't handle the Omnimax, I will be seriously ill for the rest of the day.  She already has plans to dig for fossils and explore the exhibits.  St. L through the eyes of a child is magical.

Grampa had plans for this evening too, we'll see... I am not sure we can keep going at this pace.  The hope was to go to the zoo also, but that might wait until tomorrow... We don't have to give her back until then...

I hope that everyone else is having as wonderful a weekend as we are!

a date with an angel....

It's finally Friday!!  Okay, so not really, but for me it is.  And what a glorious Friday it is!  Today after work we get to pick up a princess!  I know it isn't' but it seems like it's been forever... she lives about 40 minutes away from us now, so when we don't talk on the phone, we simply don't see or hear from her.

Looking forward to our turn with this girl...

We are "borrowing" her all weekend.  She has school tomorrow, and then she has made a request to go to the science center and maybe the zoo.  These all sound like great ideas to me.  I have been wanting to go to the zoo forever, they have a new enclosure for the sea lions and I simply cannot wait to check it out.  The St. Louis Zoo is one of the most amazing in the world, and I have been to a lot of them.

I am looking forward to a step away from craziness and some quality time with our princess.  Things seem to just be really weird in St. L lately.  It hasn't gotten significantly warmer, in fact nothing seems to have changed much except the behaviors of the street people.  They are really getting aggressive lately. 

After six and a half years the other day I actually got scared.  It wasn't dark as we were leaving, it was still daylight.  She wasn't huge or armed, but she simply seemed crazed.  She was a skinny lady, demanding money, because she knew we had some and she needed it.  She reeked of alcohol, and after asking Hubby and being turned down, she leaned in the car and started calling to me "momma, momma, you got money?" It was the vacant look in her eyes, the fact that  she seemed focused only on one thing that was disturbing.

As she walked deliberately off across the alley she held herself awkwardly, almost like they do in those b-rated zombie movies, targeting every person she saw demanding money.  It was almost surreal. And I have been out there as the sun is waking up on deserted  snow covered streets, shoveling snow, when the homeless shelter kicks them out at o'dark thirty.  It was worse than that.  It was aimless and deliberate at the same time. 

I think I need a few days away, a few days of hanging out with our princess and simply forgetting about the daily stuff.  It isn't that my compassion is broken, it isn't.  But I think that I need some down time, to be able to process it all.  Because I feel like I am struggling to process it all. 

I don't understand those vacant looks, I don't understand what I am seeing and why we can't help these folks help themselves.  I don't understand the kids riding their bikes down the sidewalks of a busy street forcing folks into the road - when there are safer places to ride, for everyone concerned. 

I am struggling with so much that I have seen this week... I am a country girl at heart.  This feels like an overwhelming amount of "stuff"... I am feeling a strong need to take care of myself and my family and run and hide.

I am sure it has more to do with the turning of the planet, moon, the summer, the seasons than anything else... or at least I hope so. I can't think about the fact that these things are becoming far more frequent and that it seems to be getting worse.

I need to lose myself in normal.  I need to play silly games, maybe make some pasta, go to the science center and zoo.  Spend time laughing at normal. 

Tick Tock, Tick Tock... taking a break, ignoring the clock...

It's almost time to break out the quilting supplies and let the day drift away... I am excited about this today.  I am getting tired, too many straight days mess up my groove... it is staggaring.  Tonight we will quilt and talk and visit, the world will start turning a little smoother.  I need it.

I am frustrated right now.  And it is affecting my ability to think straight.  I try so hard to be respectful of other people's beliefs, thoughts and opinions.  I might not always agree with you, but I will never slam you for what you believe.  It makes me ill when people do that.

The past few days, I have observed that more than once on facebook.  Frankly, I took something that intersted me off of my page today, I don't think telling me "to stop eating for awhile" is an appropriate response to something that I found worth more reflection. The other day, I was sad to read several responses that were high and mighty and snarky to another post made by another.

I often wonder if folks would be the same way in public as they are behind a key board.  Oh I assure you I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I sometimes believe in things that maybe aren't 100% true... but I challenge anyone to show me something that is 100% true.  Most things are like life, open to interpretation.

Do I believe that everyone is good, no.  Do I believe that everyone is bad, no.  Do I believe that everyone of us lives somewhere in the middle, absolutely.  We all have good, bad and indifferent days. 

Just because I find something gross or wrong, doesn't mean I expect everyone to agree with me.  Just because I believe something is wonderful and amazing, doesn't mean I expect everyone to agree with me.  I am always open to insightful and knowledge based discussions, and respectful acceptance of differences.

I feel the flavors of our world come out in our differences.  Think how boring the world would be if we were all the same... boring and bland.  Kind of like making a cake and only using flour and water.

There are times that I have to "tune out" things that people I love with my heart say or post.  For whatever reason I cannot personally find a middle ground.  Doesn't mean I love them less, just that for that moment in time, I disagree.  But then I do the same thing with the news, with opinions and what not.  I don't have to always agree or appreciate your comment, humor, shared story or whatever, it doesn't mean I have to reply or comment in a snarky or mean manner. 

I am sorry if I offend folks occassionally, I assure you I get offended too... I just hope that folks think before they write... it sure would make things better...

Geneology... where did we come from?

It all started out so innocently.  While cleaning out my inbox, I came across an email from almost  a year ago that I had neglected to answer.  I took a few minutes and answered it.  Little did I know that it would lead to an evening that felt like falling down the rabbit hole.

Hubby does not have many living relatives, that he knows of, and the past is kind of vague due to a million little reasons. The email came from the St. Louis Police Department, they were working on a bit of research on their fallen officers, his grandpa had died in the line of duty.  It lead to me logging back on to Ancestry.com.... yikes, that is dangerous!

When you are a military brat, your roots feel frayed, whether they are or not, you have a strong feeling of being disconnected.  I guess because of that I have always wanted to know how deep my roots go.  Where did my family start, how long have they been here, had I ever walked in their footsteps without realizing it?  Was the tree planted long ago, or were we recently transplanted?  Are we originals or late comers?  Those things drive me crazy with wonder, they have since I was a little girl. 

Back in 2008 I had played around a bit, but being far from home and not knowing the stories, etc, it was frustrating not rewarding.  So I stopped.  Several of my aunts have tracked our tree back across "the pond", as I grew up calling it.  And I know bits and pieces of it.  On my Mom's side there appears to be a solid trail.  I know that my Dad's mom had followed that tree way back, I've seen the book, but sadly I never got a copy of it and have no idea where it ended up.

Hubby's branches were a bit frayed also.  How I long to know who those mysterious tomb stones that rest near his family were.  He knew they were sort of connected to the family, but didn't know how. He always assumed that blood relative wise his sister and niece were the end of the tree except for his girls.  After last night, it seems there are far more branches to the tree.  It's amazing how folks are connected and to whom.

I spent about 5 hours digging through the past last night.  For someone like me, that is incredibly fascinating.  I don't live well in the present as it is, and I am deeply connected to those invisible roots, I feel them pulling at me, even though I do not know where they go.  I know my family are true Yankee's.  We are as Northern as they come.  Good strong New England stock.  I know I have roots in upstate New York, and that our family "migrated" to Pennsylvania a few generations back.  But further back is hazy, I will have to look deeper.

My family came from Europe, on mom's side I am a pretty healthy mix of English, German and French.  From dad's side I know that maternally we have a lot of French, and paternally they were fairly recent immigrants from that area that often changes hands... Czech, Polish, German... it's a unique area.  Somehow they ended up in Emporium, Pennsylvania.  A place I have only been to once.

Hubby seems to be from strong German stock, and ironically it appears great grandpa was from Bavaria.  When we were there last year, roaming through Bavaria and the Alps he kept telling me how much at home he felt.  Like he'd been there before.  Do our gene's remember? Do the memories of the past carry forward?

I will have to limit my browsing, I will never get anything done chasing those memories of the past.  Looking for those links and pictures that connect the present me with the ancestor's gone before.  I don't know why I have such a strong desire to find those pieces, to put that puzzle together. I want to know, I need to know, I want to follow those wispy strings of faint memories... those snippets of the past. 

Who do I look like?  Where does the strong need to be creative, thrifty, green, etc come from?  I want to follow the bits to hubby's past, I want to know where his love of animals originated, what did they do, what brought them to the mid-west. 

I guess growing up seeped in history older than memory makes me need to follow that path backwards.  I want to know where my family seed started... where did the sapling begin...

The POWER of Positivity!!!

I discovered something yesterday...

It was a totally rough day.  The kind that if I were a turtle would have found me pulled so tight into my shell that you would have thought I was a rock.

I don't like confrontation, oh I can take it, but I do not consider it a sport.  Nor do I consider it fun.  Frankly it is horrid, makes me shaky and sends my blood pressure through the roof.  Personally none of these are how I like to feel.

What I discovered will definitely be my "go to" from now on.  I like positive, up beat messages.  They make me smile and make my heart feel light.  They motivate me and cheer me.  In the midst of all the ugly from yesterday I was doing some work for a project or two, they all involve positive, uplifting things.  As I was reading these things... I literally felt the change in me.

Each one had a huge impact on me.  I could feel my fingers calm, my heart stopped racing, my smile returned.  I could feel that positive energy filling the void that had been left by all the negative. It was re-energizing and powerful.  It felt healing. Each time someone had me on the verge of tears with their negative, hateful, spewing of dark energy, I read another one or two or three... I thought about the message of each one and how it resonated with me.

I am definitely a glass half full kind of girl.  I have often been accused of being a Polly Anna and told to take off the rose colored glasses. I wonder if the people telling me to do that are simply so stuck in the mire of being a pessimist that they simply don't want to be happy.

I wonder if there are actually people that thrive in those dark, horrible and hopeless feelings of the negative.  If so I am so sorry for them, because no one should feel that kind of oppression and anger in their soul on a regular basis.

I need to focus on those people that lift me up, those things that give me energy to battle bleakness.  Just when I was ready to give up yesterday I found all those messages, as they were working their healing magic, the phone rang.  It was one of the dearest people in my life.  She was simply calling to check up on me and see if I needed her.  She brings so much energy and light to my world that I am certain I would be lost without her.  I am slowly surrounding myself with people just like her.  Weeding out those that only see the clouds, but forget to look for the silver lining.

The people that I choose to let close to me, inside my bubble are those wonderful good folks.  As work is where the majority of my time is spent, my office is full of positive power.  Hubby keeps me feeling empowered and positive at home, always ready with a laugh or joke.  I love my protective bubble of positive people.  I simply don't know what I would do without any of them.

I guess this is simply notice... if you are a negative Nelly, if your role and goal is to bring us down and rain on the parade, then you are not welcome!  I know that I personally need the good and positive, and I fully intend to insure that is what my world is made of!

To the people that keep creating the beautiful, upbeat messages - please never stop.  To the family and friends that I cherish, thank you for being the absolute light in my life and always being there to relight my candle when a bully blows it out!

Positivity is Powerful!!  Pass it on...

Unexpected Happiness!!

I didn't wake up this morning expecting anything wonderful... the night was too short, the day ahead promising to be far too long.  I really was okay with a minute or two of quiet, a hot cup of coffee and watching a cool morning sunrise.  I kind of thought that was going to be the highlight of the day. Then it happened!  I made a quilt last month.  It was my first non-family commissioned quilt in years, okay maybe a decade or more, and I have been dying to share it! But the recipient has been known to read my blog occasionally and I couldn't risk it.

The gift!

This morning I woke up to a text message, one of my favorite kind!  A picture of the quilt in the new happy owners arms.  I think I am going to start a collage all pieced together of the smiles!  Oh I love those smiles!!  I always thought t-shirt/memory quilts were fun and cute, but I never truly appreciated their intrinsic value until now.

This is the second quilt in as many weeks that has warmed my heart and made me happy beyond thought.  I made one of the two.  I am finding with each quilt the desire and need to make more of them.  To capture those memories, while creating a warm, useful quilt.  I was beside myself happy when the quilt was picked up a couple of nights ago.  I have been dying to see the look on my friend's face, to see if I had managed to capture her vision for the quilt.  The sheer delight in her jet lagged eyes and that smile, assured me I had.

That is a stressful moment, when you are making a memory for someone else. I failed mind-reading 101, sadly, and I worry endlessly that my vision and theirs might not align.  It tends to make me a bit ill, because those t-shirts or other bits of memories cannot be put back together after they are made into a quilt.  The very act of ruthlessly cutting them up and resizing them a few dozen times insures that. So I always hold my breath when presenting a quilt.  I cross my fingers and toes and send a few prayers upstairs that they will find beauty and love in my work.  It is so stressful!

And then I wait.

I wait for the requested picture, the one showing the look on the recipients face.  Because so far, none of the quilts I have worked on have been given straight to the recipient. My nephew's was given to his mom, as it was a gift from mom and dad...breath held for far too long.  Although my sister's smile and the tears in her eyes told me it was right.  Watching V complete her's and waiting to see... oh my what a great treat that was.  Then this one.  I love the two people that were part of it's circle very much.  They are dear friends and two of the most wonderful women I know.  I wanted it perfect.  I knew when it was picked up that I had met her vision... but would it pass the recipient test?

What do you think?

A picture is worth a thousand words

It's going to be an amazing day!  The stress I am anticipating isn't going to matter, I have a smile to brighten any darkness!  Bring it on world... I helped make a new smile, my heart is full!!

Another beautiful day begins...

Whoa... another day that has dawned crisp and cool.  We should be in the dog days of summer and it appears that we are in early fall.  One of my favorite songs just keeps playing over and over in my head "I begin to feel the chill of an early fall"...

It makes me want to go pick apples and start canning for fall.  During the day it's only edging into the upper 70's.  If summer has been this cool and mild, we only had a few days total so far that were absolutely miserable, what is going to happen when we hit winter?  It's been a lot of years since we've had a truly cold and snowy winter.  Maybe I should add mittens and wristers to my offerings at the craft fair, crazy how the mind wanders isn't it?

I have a feeling my staff team is simply going to be so thankful that I do not come in until after one today, as I am closing.  Yesterday was massively productive, we accomplished everything on our list and bit more, although I suspect they thought I had absolutely lost my mind. We got stuff cleaned out, organized, calls into several churches for lay ministers, the bones of the book club, started the search for volunteers to teach a couple of "craft" art classes... it was crazy productive!  I am sure it is the weather!  I feel like today is going to be a duplicate kind of day... they had simply better watch out! Insanity might reign supreme again!

Before I head off that direction though, I am going to get a few chores done around the house. When I work the long weeks it is so easy to get behind. Clean up the kitchen, do a load of laundry, maybe even dust.  Then I am going to work on some serious beanies... I have orders for two that I haven't had time to get to all week.  And I have stuff to get ready to mail... my poor aunt is going to think I really didn't want to send her any of my jam, and my cousin is probably thinking I lied about the cross stitch books.  Neither is the case, but you know how life gets in the way of life sometimes.

Hubby has been getting back in a fitness mode this week, I think it is starting to rub off on me.  Yikes, I am not sure I have enough hours in my life for all the gotta's and wanna's... I fixed him a smoothie this morning, that will keep him going strong for a few hours before he does lunch with the boys.  I will probably make a big salad for him to have for dinner to balance it all out. 

All of that has to happen before I wake my son to go out for lunch before heading to work today!  It sure is a busy one ahead... on the plus side it is a beautiful, cool, crisp morning.  The high is only going to be 81, it is the perfect morning to kick back and enjoy my coffee.  For a minute work will wait!

Is it a beautiful morning where you are?