time flies...

Twenty years... Some moments it feels like an instant, others time feels like it is eternal.  What a joy it has been.  About this time twenty years ago, I was getting ready to get up on a horse for the first time in my life.  Actually I was questioning my sanity.  Not about getting married, nope that was the one thing I was positive about.  But that horse thing... what was I thinking?  I'd never ridden one, wasn't in the best of health and here I decided I could just saddle up and away we'd go.

Twenty years ago it seemed like every one and their brother had a "warning" or a negative thought concerning our marriage.  We could not seem to please anyone and finally reached a point that we were simply going to please ourselves.  

Not every one could be there.  We missed them.  Even as we realized that their life choices were theirs and we could not keep rearranging our life around others. There were moments that it felt like we were having to make a deal with the devil just to have the youngest kids with us.  

We decided against a church wedding.  We'd both been married before, no sense in that, it seemed over the top and so very expensive.  As we thought and searched for the perfect place for us the Dinner Bell Ranch appeared. The memories of that trip and those moments are so clear, even though the number of pictures is so small.  Digital camera's were new, the photographer didn't mean to erase them all.  Thankfully, we have a few small ones.  Although, I don't need pictures to remember it at all. 

At the top of the ridge, overlooking the valley, terrified of getting off my horse for fear I would not get back on we exchanged our vows.  With the family that was able to make it, in the midst of nature we pledged our love and lives to one another.  

The ride up and down the hill terrified me.  I mean, I knew I was marrying an accomplished rider, I didn't realize that I would be holding on for dear life (at least in my mind that is how it felt) with my in season horse following his horse's every move. Mr. Smarty Pants loving being in the saddle again was not exactly sticking straight to the trail. When we finally returned to the bottom I wanted nothing more than to possibly kiss the ground.  It's been twenty years and I haven't gotten on a horse again.  I'm good. 

What an amazing journey it has been.  We've dealt with some harsh blows, always leaning into our love and our faith to see us through.  We've had adventures and chased dreams.  Always side by side.  We've faced tragedy, joy, births and deaths, we've faced the sickness and in health thing several times, through it all we've been holding hands and keeping one another's hearts safe from harm. 

All those naysayers... well, they sure got it wrong.  Yep, we are as different as night and day and yet we are also the same in many, many ways.  He's far more outgoing than I am.  He has a wicked sense of humor and never fails to remind me of it.  He's the hopeless romantic, never ceasing to surprise me.  He is the dreamer.  I'm the pragmatic one.  Happiest in my tiny circle.  I have been accused of having no sense of humor, yet somehow I still manage to make him laugh at the darnedest times.  I live in the now, feet firmly to the ground.  And when I do actually do something romantic, I've been known to make tears run down his cheek (shhhh... don't tell him I told you that).

I rarely do things without my sweet Hubs, he rarely does them without me.  We are two halves of a whole and we truly love being together.  It works for us.  Sure we have moments we get frustrated or fired up, I mean we are human.  Whenever he says he wishes he'd married me decades ago, I gently remind him we wouldn't have made it if that had happened.  

We both had to grow into the people that we became.  We both had rough edges to smooth and obstacles to face.  God knew when the time was right, because he's guided our steps and led us to where we are.  For everyone that said I wasn't his type... so true.  I wasn't that type.  Thank goodness, because I ended up being THE type.  

This afternoon, in a very private ceremony we will renew our vows.  This time it will be in a physical church, just us, our pastors and in the presence of God.  We will celebrate stepping into our next twenty years. 

I am so very blessed.  I married my own knight in shining armor, someone that protects me, provides for me, doesn't try to change me.  Someone that accepts the quirky, strange, flawed human that I am and loves me unconditionally.  I might not be a knight in shining armor, but I assure you I love, cherish, protect, honor and care for him just as strongly!  Although I still struggle with the obey part. 

I love this wonderful, silly, romantic man with all of my heart.  More today than I did twenty years ago, if that is possible.  Giggles, laughs, adventures, bumps and bruises all of it rolls up to make this an amazing life!  I mean who else is gifted black and blue toilet paper for their 20th wedding anniversary?  I mean besides this girl!

There will be no horses tonight.  We spent the morning in nature playing with our pups in a stream.  That is the closest we will get to recreating our wedding.  

There is a line from a country song that has always resonated for both of us, "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you". Both of us had traveled journeys to get to where we are, those journey's left wounds that neither of us expected to ever heal.  Now twenty years later, they are simply minor faded scars that do not have the ability to harm us, we have each other, the rest simply doesn't matter.

Thank you God for guiding me to him.  Thank you for your blessings... 

love and prayers... B