I powered through my to do list like a crazy woman yesterday. The house was filled with amazing smells as I roasted tomatoes and onions. I'd worn myself stupid canning things, forgetting how much I truly enjoy the old ways. I was thrilled at Hubs' delight with the tomato paste and the vodka sauce. The scent from the onions filled the house to capacity, it's a warm smell like you get from French onion soup.
I'd gotten laundry done, some grocery shopping thrown in, even playtime with the pups had happened a few times. By the time I fixed the modified dinner - I was feeling pretty low, in my defense (not that he blamed me at all) it was after 5 pm when he put in his dinner request, and the stove and oven were in steady use at that point. And he didn't complain at all about the substitution.
None of those things were the reason for questioning myself. Hubs had a really rough and long day yesterday. None of it was in his control or his doing, he was cleaning up a challenge someone else created. It was wearing on him and frankly making him a tad fussy. That is when I started to have doubts.
Since changing my lifestyle just shy of a year ago, I have been so very grateful and filled with joy. I love being a housewife, I love taking care of my home and doing the things that bring me joy. But there are times that the modern ideal that one must work outside of the home to have value sneaks in and tries to steal my joy. So many times I have questioned the decision we made, so many times I have wondered if I was pulling my fair share.
Last night was one of those times. I started going through my mind, telling myself if I was still in corporate America Hubs wouldn't have to deal with this stuff, if I was still punching a clock and doing those things he would have more options. You get the idea. Hubs is incredible at his job and usually makes it look like he could do it with his eyes closed and half asleep, he's simply a natural. But on those days when nothing is going right, even he gets a case of the grumps.
I got up from dinner and started folding the laundry, still had a few loads to go, and voiced my concerns to Hubs. His answer is one he's given me many times. He asked me if I wanted him to put a price to all of the things I do for him and our home. For him to figure out what it would cost him to have someone else come and do all of those things. He tells me all the time that all he's wanted is a 50's housewife (thank goodness that doesn't involve skirts, high heels and pearls) and that he is so thankful he finally has that.
He is overjoyed that his personal chore list now involves helping walk puppies, taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. Kind of hard to argue with that kind of logic. He loves being taken care of and I love taking care of him. Kind of works don't you think?
I slept super soundly after that. Everything about me was exhausted when I crawled into bed, but the sense of accomplishment from the day was over the moon.
My jalapeno's are all canned up and waiting for the next three weeks to be cracked open. I can't wait to try them. Ended up with 13 jars of varying sizes. The tomatoes simmered and baked for hours, the end result was the most decadent tomato paste I have ever tasted, I cannot wait to cook with it, 7 jars there. I made the base for a vodka sauce, again, we cannot wait to try it, a couple tablespoons of heavy cream while it cooks and all is good with the world. I felt like I chopped onions forever yesterday, but like I said our house smells heavenly of caramelized onions, they are in the dehydrator right now, soon to be onion powder.
I hadn't planned to do any cooking today, I had planned to sit with my feet up and crochet (I hate to admit it, but spending hours on my feet bothers my knee a bit). But the pinging of canning jars as they seal is highly addictive and I simply couldn't wait to get the other items done. I can't wait until we are eating the foods I made, not the ones from the store that are full of preservatives and little flavor.
Right now, I'm simply taking a small break. My back was fighting with me and I need to run back out for a lemon - of all the things to forget. I am trying a new kind of recipe, Pickled Brussels sprouts. Hubs loves brussels, and I make a ton of charcuterie plates. I'm hoping they turn out as good as they sound. I've already prepared and canned the pickled dill green beans and started the pickles they are soaking up the brine as I type.
Before I lay my head down tonight I hope to have finished the pickled asparagus (that is incredible in a Bloody Mary - FYI) and possibly even the pizza sauce. We both love the crustless pizza that I make and I am sure it will only be better with a fresh homemade sauce.
Tomorrow my girlfriend is coming over and all of those beautiful floral teas will become jellies, and I asked her what else she would like to can, a couple of ideas are out there. Like I said, I'd forgotten how much I missed doing these kind of things. The joy that comes from providing on a much deeper level than running off to the grocery and buying something that isn't as nourishing, something that lacks the depth of homemade, the trade off for convenience so that I can work a full time job outside of my home.
Well, I need to get back to filling my beautiful jars with wonderful treats and meals. I am hoping to be brave enough to try my pressure canner tomorrow, I have never tried it and frankly the learning curve is unnerving. I've already picked out all of the recipes I want to try, so... why not!
love and peace...
Good one! 381+
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