I'm branching out and exploring things that I never considered before, or maybe considered, but truly never had the courage to act on. I am deepening my relationship with myself.
I guess I am healing.
In that process of healing I am also prioritizing like I haven't done in... well I started to say decades, but I am not sure that I have ever done it.
I've always been willing to let others take control over my life journey. Kind of drifting along and moving at whatever pace someone else set for me. Whether it was frantic or relaxed. I've never made me and my wants, needs and dreams a priority.
My trip to LA at the beginning of the summer was a bit spontaneous for me. I usually do not take trips on short notice. I don't do much on the spur of the moment. I weigh and measure every action.
But sitting here at my kitchen island, while the cobblers I am baking for family and friends fill my house with an aroma that is beyond yummy. Sipping my lukewarm coffee, because I've been distracted, and getting ready to leave as soon as they are out of the oven, I am reflecting and thinking about yesterday's adventure.
The day started as a sweat bath. Literally! Hubs and I were being so clever! We were going to Eckert's to pick our week of fresh from the farm veggies and fruit. We'll go early I thought. Beat the brutal heat of the mid-west... I was sure of it. Sure the thermometer read 88 at 9 am, but is that really hot? Well if you live in the mid-west, off of a major river... the answer is yes. It's not only hot its disgustingly hot if you are in a field picking vegetables!
As we walked up and down the rows, my basket getting heavier by the moment, searching for the best looking cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, onions, eggplants, zucchini's and more we were slowly melting.
The heat was absolutely ridiculous. I've never sweat so much that my contact was threatening to float out of my eye. Unreal! But as I washed those veggies this morning and loaded my fridge for a week of nutritious and health filled meals. It felt worth it. Not to mention that I was really loving the extra steps that I managed to squeeze into my schedule.
There is a reason that our forefathers weren't always fighting against obesity. Picking and hauling vegetables is hard work. And I LOVED it! It makes me miss my own garden so much. There are veggies that I miss having fresh from the earth. The crispness of a fresh picked radish is unbelievable.
We never made it to picking our own peaches, because as engaging and entertaining as our grandson was as we stopped on the ride back for all those eager peach pickers to get off the wagon, nothing could convince Hubs or I to get off that wagon. Even the beautiful peach he was demonstrating to everyone was not enough to make us stay to even visit with him. It was just too HOT! And we knew the farm store would have plenty of beautiful peaches for a fraction more. For a change, my cheap heart was thankful!
After lunch with our girls, my mom and my sister and her family who had arrived early for our niece's wedding today, a few of us decided to go to an event that I have always wanted to attend, but never make the time. Hubs isn't a fan and I usually decide to blow it off. But I really wanted to go and have a psychic reading. So did my youngest niece. Game on!
While Hubs went home to work, my sis and party went for manicures, my girls, mom, niece and I descended on the physic fair. I've never had a Tarot Reading. And the sheer number of styles and readers there was a bit overwhelming. In my panic or confusion - who knows what it was, I was simply overwhelmed - I picked the first time available. It was a native american reading. It was quite an interesting experience. I am very fluid in my beliefs and my faith in God never waivers, but I also find strength in things like astrology, spirit guides, psychics and much more. Pretty sure Hubs wonders what kind of a lunatic he's hitched his life to at times.
I find strength and power in connecting with the earth, in wandering through forests and being one with nature. In my personal opinion too many of our problems today are due to the fact that we have wandered to far away from our connections to our earth, to nature, to the basics. But that is something for another time.
As I'd never experienced a Tarot reading before I was definitely intrigued and had no idea what to expect or what was expected of me.
I'm still processing the experience. It was odd in that without telling this person anything at all about me, what I have been experiencing, and where I need my support. She told me many things about my journey this year, many things that I have shared here, and many of the things that I had determined for myself. Maybe I'm more in touch with my spirit guides that I realize? Who knows.
I almost laughed out loud when she told me that the "story teller" was a prominent card for me and that I should consider taking up writing. I don't usually share with people this little hobby of mine. If you find it... I'm happy to know you are there. If you don't, I am truly okay that you do not realize I exist. It's just where I sort out my thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams.
Hubs thinks I'm silly for believing in things like Tarot, psychics and spirit guides, but he will never deter me from chasing things that make me happy.
As we sneak up on our 15th wedding anniversary (ha and people said it wouldn't last!) I realize that he has been encouraging his "hippie wife that doesn't do drugs" to simply be herself for a very long time. He has always encouraged and supported my scattered directions and need to find myself. I am blessed. I didn't need a Tarot reading to know that, but it never hurts to be reminded that your true north is often right in front of you. You simply need to open your eyes, mind and heart.
And then Soar!
She said an eagle (the east wind) is leading me right now, it is keeping me both grounded with it's talons and soaring high above the clouds to see the path I am following. And that my over arching protection and strength is ironically coming from the bear (the west wind) - ironically my sweet Hubs has always been my bear - guess I should pay attention!
Let's go SOAR!
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