 |
| Final fire of 2017... |
Today marks the start of another 365 days to have great experiences and enjoy life. Although I am pretty sure that could be said for any day. I am not sure what makes January 1 so significant. It really is just another day. A bitterly cold day this year, but it really isn't all that special.
It's a day.
Now it is a day to slow down and enjoy family, friends and life. And for that I am grateful.
Both of the "B's" were supposed to come ring in the new year last night, but unfortunately one of the B's was sick. And although we missed her, it was a fabulous time for us to visit, talk, sip wine and enjoy the fire. The Hubs used his new indoor/outdoor bbq grill and made us steaks that we enjoyed with baked potatoes and roasted brussels. It was fabulous to just enjoy time.
 |
| a bottle of red, a bottle of white... |
Hubs gave up early, later than usual, but still early. We rarely ring in the new year, we usually snooze through it. My B and I made it to midnight - barely! We were chatting away and almost missed it, if it hadn't been for the fireworks we would have never noticed.
Soon we will get the other "B" over here and we will do it all over again. I've decided things like that are missing in my life and I am going to spend this year working on fixing that. I often feel like if you are "blessed" to call me friend - then you have really gotten the short end of the deal. A blessing it is not.
I am a terrible friend. I barely keep myself in line, so many things going on, and I often forget things like birthday's and special anniversaries when my friends may need me. I can become quite oblivious. Not out of maliciousness, simply because I struggle so hard with things like memory and balance. If I'm being truthful, and I am usually that to a fault, friends aren't the only ones I do a lousy job of keeping track of - family too. Hubs, kids and grand babies have all suffered as a result of my scatter brained way of being.
It's not because of lack of love. It's simply me. I lose track of days, weeks and often months. I write notes upon notes to keep myself organized and on track. I don't always succeed. I try to remember if there was ever a time that I didn't struggle so much. If there was, I have long forgotten when it was.
So I am going to try again this year. But truthfully, if you don't get a birthday card or a call, know it isn't because I don't love you, it's simply that I have gotten lost in life again and wasn't successful at the goal. I have an entire shelf that is full of birthday cards, baby cards, sympathy cards, thank you cards, and many others. Each bought with an intention of mailing them to a loved one. Each one still living here.
There are truly times that it feels like my brain is full of worm holes, like the kinds from the old Star Trek episodes. Do you remember? You go in at one spot and who knows where you will come out.
The people that make up the fabric of our lives are so vitally important. And while I am lousy at remembering the conventional things, I assure you, nothing comes before someone that needs me. My family and friends know they can wake me from a dead sleep, send me a text that says I need you, heck I'd say smoke signals - but I don't know how to read them.
I try to be present and giving to all I meet and encounter. Maybe I do it selfishly, because it makes me feel so alive to truly enjoy others. But something as silly as the sweet lady at Walmart with the heavy accent of a new immigrant, that felt I looked safe enough to ask a question about cream, I enjoyed helping her solve her dilemma. Too many times I have lived in another country and had to figure out how to make my favorite dishes with ingredients that are just not quite the same. I hope her dish turned out like she expected it.
I also enjoyed immensely the young lady at the mall that was willing to laugh with us about me sharing a chocolate covered strawberry with my sweet Hubs. In this city of ours where the divides sometimes feel deep and painful, she willingly bridged that divide to tease that I must love him to share those strawberries... We all were laughing and wishing each other a happy new year.
I want more of those experiences.
I want to take time to share dinner with my children, to laugh at my sweet youngest grand daughter as she learns to explore life and celebrate the changes as my oldest grand daughter leaves childhood behind to become a dreaded teenager.
To laugh with my B's and enjoy their company. Not work related. Love related. As they are important to me on many, many levels. I want to find time for my other two besties also... I wish they weren't so far away!
And always to spend time with sweet Hubs. He and I are the perfect matched set. As we will celebrate our 15th anniversary this year, with February 21 marking the beginning of our 15 years together, I want to rejoice! All those years ago so many naysayers said it would never last. I wasn't his type, he would leave me, the age difference was too much... oh the stories I could, but won't, tell. He and I have been through so much together. Laughter, tears, joy and sadness... through it all... we are still us! I can't even fathom that 15 years have flown by. It feels like we've just begun.
To anyone taking the time to read this, please take a few moments each day to celebrate the people close and more distant that make your life the rich tapestry that it is. And while you are at it, maybe take time this year to smile at strangers, help people in need and simply be the person that you want in your life. The power of it... is AMAZING!
No comments:
Post a Comment