cannot connect...

Are we too connected?  Too technologically integrated?  Oh the irony of that statement as I sit here typing a blog instead of writing in a journal.

As lightening flashed and thunder literally rumbled on for long drawn out times, I was actually jarred awake at 315 am by my phone. It wasn't the beautiful storm that woke me, it was the theme song to the "IT Crowd".  As I was groping in the darkness for my phone, answering it without looking at caller ID because... 1) can't see without my glasses and 2) if you are calling me at 315 am, I am going to assume it is important.

Hmmm... important... I guess it depends on who you are.  I would rate that one as absolutely not important. It was the alarm company calling to let me know that our maintenance trouble alarm had gone off and reset itself.  Of course it did.  It's storming.  Our phone lines are horrible and as soon as they disconnect, the alarm says there is a maintenance trouble.  And it resets when they reconnect. So no, I would not say that is a valid reason to call me in the middle of the night.

Building on fire, that one I would buy.  But a disconnected phone line?  I am guessing someone in Kansas City working a night shift got bored.

Trying to drift back to sleep after a 2 minute phone conversation in a raging thunderstorm with your pups huddled against you quivering out of fear is difficult at best.

Just as I was finally drifting back to sleep an alarm goes off, my phone is once again loudly buzzing. This time to let me know there is a flood warning for my area. Okay. Fair enough, I live in a fairly large area surrounded by rivers.  There are large areas of land that are in the flood plains.  I am not. As it was storming when we all went to bed, I would think they would have paid attention to those alerts stating there was danger of flash flooding. Maybe not.  But, I got it.  I understood.  I guess.

As I was once again struggling to fall asleep and wondering if those people they were trying to warn actually had cell phones, someone else must have wondered the same thing.  As my phone was yet again playing the "IT Crowd" theme song.  This time is was an automated weather alert, telling me the same thing the text message alert does.

I struggled for a long time after the third waking in an hour and 15 minutes.  I seriously considered giving up on sleep and just starting on my "homework" early.  I was just so very tired.  My brain was working at warp speed, full of things I needed to do, composing this blog, thinking of the day ahead.  I was not a happy camper.

At some point I finally drifted back to sleep, probably grouchy, because I sure woke up a few hours later feeling cranky and out of sorts.  The rain had stopped and my pups were whining to go for a walk.

As I got ready to walk them, I found myself longing for my high school days.  No I am never nostalgic for high school, it was simply something to get through.  In fact I am not someone who ever wishes to go back. What I was longing for was a time before phones in my home.  When I grew up we walked to the payphone or used a neighbors if we wanted to make a call.  Cell phones were simply the communicators on Star Trek. Computers were new fangled things that hadn't quite started being "personal".  There was no email, if you wanted to communicate in writing, well that is what you did, you got a piece of paper and you wrote it down. Maybe it was a note you passed in class or a letter that you put a stamp on, but nothing at all was instant.

When you went to bed at night, it was to sleep. You didn't get jarred awake.

I often feel that we are far too connected.  I am just as guilty as anyone else.  I often chat with family and friends as I drive to and from work.  Even as I curse the fact that my Honda and my android phone are never going to be close personal friends, and I refuse to buy an "i" anything. I use the time to catch up.

It seems that we are all so busy now, that we squeeze things in, we don't take the time to just be.  Maybe that is why I refuse to listen to music while I walk.  Maybe I need to connect with nature?  I don't know.  I do know that constant connection is stressful and wearing thin.

We used to mail letters and wait.  Now we send text messages and get annoyed when they are not instantly answered. What an inpatient and demanding world we've become.  No signal, often equals stress and a feeling of loneliness.

I think I need to incorporate a bit more disconnection in my life.  A bit more silence, face-to-face conversation, time with people and not so much "connection".  I need to read a few more paper books and a few less online stories.

Although, I don't think I will ever go back to writing a paper journal.  My handwriting stinks, always has, and I enjoy blogging. It helps me think. To reason through things in life that seem crazy and complicated.  Or simple and mundane.

I think I am going to call down to Hubs, again with the irony on the intercom and see if he's going to walk with me this morning.  I missed my walk due to weather yesterday and that could have something to do with me being out of sorts.

Find some time with weekend to disconnect.  For a moment or two at least...

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