selfish...

For a while now I have been dealing with some things that are making me tired.  Selfishness, nasty, lazy and a few other choice words come to mind when thinking about it.

Sweet Hubs knows it is taxing me to my limits.  Making me struggle with flares and simply wanting to just walk away from many things. He could simply ignore it, sooner or later I come to grips with things.  But he doesn't.  He handles things so different.

He lets me be selfish.

This morning as I hobbled down the stairs, cursing myself for not getting my knee/leg looked at, wincing at the pain each step caused, I am not good at taking time for myself and my own health.  I was feeling less than optimistic about the day.  It'd promised to be an amazing one, but I was already tired and cranky.  The ache had managed to rob me of most of the hours my eyes were closed, and the throbbing had already started for the day.  Rounding the corner and not seeing hubby I realized he was down in his Man Cave (or girl cave if you ask the grand baby), then I spied my coffee cup sitting innocently in front of the coffee pot.  I couldn't help but smile at the fact that it contained a nice dose of Buffalo Trace.  Filling my cup and wandering down the stairs very slowly convinced me it was gonna be a slow one.

As I sipped my hot, bourbon laced coffee, my sweet hubby listened to me think out loud... actually apologizing that I had gotten the last of the bourbon.  He'd given it to me and didn't have any.  He knew I loved to start my Saturday's like that and he'd unselfishly given it to me.  He loves it to.  It was a huge gift of love.

Next the kitty knocked over the flowers he'd bought me.  Water everywhere.  Including under the Valentine's box he'd tried to get me to open a few nights ago when my heart was so heavy and sore.  As I panicked that whatever the brightly wrapped package contained could be damaged by the water, Hubby saw another opportunity to make me open it early.  He quickly started insisting that I open it, that the water would ruin it and he would be so upset.  In my haste to clean up and prevent damage I missed the cues that usually tell me I am being worked.  Let me just say that I am 99% sure that little bit of water was in NO way going to damage those boxes of carefully wrapped and sealed sponge candy.

He'd ordered me Romolo's this time.  Stefanelli's is our normal kind, it was what I'd remembered from growing up.  We both had been curious every time someone from home would insist that we were not eating the right kind, we needed Romolo's it was the original, the stuff I remembered.  Okay, all those at home... You were right!

After limping to walk the boys and do a few things around the house I decided to take a hot bath in Epsom salts before the grand baby woke up.  Hoping, praying actually that it would eliminate whatever was bothering my leg.

Hubs was working on fixing the banister rail, it had finally given way and fallen off, something we were terribly afraid would happen when he'd needed it most.  It waited.  Having my Mister Fix-It back is nice.  I offered to help after finding the wood filler for him, instead he fixed me a nice hot bubble bath concoction.  Epsom Salts, some essential oils and other things all designed to alleviate pain.

How unselfish of him.

Soaking in mounds of soft bubbles, listening to Enya, surrounded by candles and looking out the window at the bright blue sky... well that should have been more that enough to mellow my mood, make my heart soar, and assure me I am loved.  And frankly it was.

But not to him.

After he'd finished fixing the rail.  He spoiled and pampered me some more.  I am sure not many women can say their hubby gave them a manicure and a pedicure... I can!

Again... unselfish.

So loving.

After he fixed breakfast with the grand baby, and he cleaned up the kitchen we got her ready for the day. We'd planned to take her swimming. She's got a bit of a cold. Why risk it?

Picnic lunch packed.

Baby girl ready.

Adventure bound.

We headed up to Alton.  It's time for the eagles and we didn't want to miss the beautiful day.



He unselfishly allowed me a day of selfishness.  A day I desperately needed.  I got some amazing pictures of my grand baby, the eagles, him, the sunset and captured so many silly moments.  We laughed we giggled. We sang travel songs and went back in time.







When it was time for dinner... we chose an unlikely place.  A small little hole in the wall looking place.  Much laughter and fun later we'd enjoyed an incredible dinner, met Bob the Cat, toasted with toast, giggled and laughed.







The drive home with the sun setting provided us with many opportunities to pull off, take pictures, have tea on the banks of the Mississippi. All while dancing to Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.  In the failing sun we watch literally hundreds of eagles high above the bluffs and river soaring on the jet stream, their white chests glowing a beautiful red in reflection.  We'd stopped to see if the Mama Eagle on her nest was still there. She was only now she was hovered over it, tucked in for the night.


The sea gulls were swarming the waters edge, grabbing that last little snack before dark, and a short way down the road hundreds of crows adorned the trees like black leaves, straight out of a Hitchcock movie.


A quick stop at the store for a few small things, Grand Baby needed a magazine she's been looking for, and those boys needed food.  And we headed home.  This time I drove, Hubs leg was starting to complain quite a bit.  Still he offered.  Knowing I don't see well in the dark and therefore do not like to drive at night.

It was my turn to be unselfish.

While I drove home, he relaxed, leaning back, listening to music.  Letting the music and pain medication help him through it all.

Shortly after arriving home he headed upstairs.  Worn out, needing to stretch out.  I am sitting up with the Grand, who informed us that she needed to spend the whole weekend with us - and we couldn't be happier. I know she needs us, that we can give her a place to selfishly call her's.

The reality is that little girl sitting quietly at the end of the sofa reading her magazine...


Well Grampa and Gramma selfishly need her!

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