I have no idea what kind of tree is outside my window, I just know that it bursts forward with beautiful white flowers, it's always the first sign of spring in my little garden. Already I am catching bursts of that beautiful spring green. I love that color, only outside, in nature, it fills my heart as a gentle reminder that spring is getting ready to come on the scene in a huge way. One day the trees will still be barren and cold, the grass will be muted, flowers are still resting deep underground as you start your day, and just like that the day will end in springtime.
I guess if you need any further proof that God is taking care of us and providing for our needs, then maybe you aren't really looking.
Yesterday while I was finishing my chores I listened to a YouTube channel that I usually don't follow. I'm not even sure where I got the link that led me to it. It was in something that I do usually follow, it's a site I visit periodically, but for some reason I have never subscribed. I subscribed yesterday.
I had started to listen earlier in the day, but I knew I was distracted and wouldn't give it the attention it seemed to deserve, so I'd saved it for ironing time. A time when I knew I wouldn't be interrupted, no one was likely to call or text, and honestly is there a chore that is more mindless than ironing?
It was on Roots and Refuge, and I am including the link. It's a devotional and it's about "homesteading". Yet, not in the way you would expect. Sure she touches on the things that fill my heart, taking care of the home, gardening, being self-sufficient. All of those things, it was just so different. Be warned, it's about 50 minutes long, but it is definitely worth those precious minutes. It's more about self-reflection, self-realization, and completely owning your own path and understanding what it is.
I felt like yesterday was a day filled with messages. A variety of things that I needed to hear, to feel, and to experience. After all, I also felt powerfully drawn to write also.
One of the most powerful parts of the day, was when she mentioned the apron club. For me it felt like a giant smack upside the head and heart. I know I joke about being "retired", I am not now, nor do I feel will I ever be retired. I do feel like I finally got promoted to the greatest career path I was ever blessed to have. I am a homemaker. I am a proud member of the apron club. My favorite apron is stained, faded and definitely worn. It's been used to wipe tears, grab hot pans, wipe my hands on, and to protect me from many things. I should make a few more just like it, maybe someday I will make the time.
There are times that I battle bitterness that I had not been able to embrace that path when my babies were young and needed me. I have had deep regrets that bubble to the surface at my own blindness, at allowing myself to believe in the fear man was driving into my heart. How we wouldn't survive if I wasn't working as hard and as fast as I could. I watched longingly at the relationship my daughter has with her own children, mainly due to the fact that she is a 100% hands on mom.
I own that. I pray about it. And I thank God for finally breaking me free from it all. Now I am a full-time grandma, available at a moments notice. When my grand-daughter calls and asks me to meet her sisters bus, I don't have to hesitate, I simply go - providing I'm not scrambling about like a blind mouse searching for my keys... I am able to be there when my children, husband, family, friends or even neighbors need me.
Are there times I allow man's ways to disturb me? Absolutely! I can get in a tail spin the same as everyone else. I promise you, Monday I was beyond disturbed. As I went first to my bank to find out I could no longer physically interact with a teller, but in a very Jetsonesque manner I could interact via a computer monitor in the lobby. And when that was topped off by them telling me that I could no longer receive or deposit change physically. Well, my mind was 100% blown. I simply wanted to cash a few checks and the fact that I could only receive the paper dollars back and had to allow them to deposit my coins felt foreign and controlling. I was absolutely not okay with that experience and I am now evaluating my relationship with their new model. I'm sorry, I am not really okay with such a non-personal method of dealing with people.
I followed it up by a quick trip to my least favorite store. I needed a few paper products for our home and thought it would be least expensive by going to Wal-Mart. As a general rule I avoid the one closest to our home, I dislike the coldness, the lack of cashiers, the location, well basically everything. I will usually drive to the next town and go to theirs, but I was on a bit of a time crunch. I was trying to get everything done in an hour, so... ours it was.
I never in my life dreamed that buying 120 plastic trash bags would cost $23.85, but there I was looking at the prices in stunned disgust. I guess it hits me a bit harder than some folks, because I avoid going to the store unless I absolutely have to. I also needed tissues... $9.99 for 6 boxes? I used to loose my mind at the thought of $7 for 6. I even considered going with the generics on both items, but the prices were the same, so I figured I'd stay with what I knew. In fact, every single item that I have always purchased was significantly higher in price. In September I'd bought the same trash bags, and seriously struggled with paying $15.95 for them.
After those shocks I decided to browse the store a bit. I wasn't purchasing, but I wanted to absorb the atmosphere, my fellow shoppers, the prices on an assortment of items. I guess I felt like a glutton for punishment as my daddy used to say.
As I wandered in stunned silence I noticed the prices on laundry soap have soared to unreasonable levels, it's mostly water folks. Suddenly feeling very thankful that I have a fair amount in my pantry and that I have discovered that Soap Nuts work much better than chemicals.
Everywhere I turned there were faces of dismay, I heard so many people speaking about prices in whispered horror as they would put things back instead of in their carts. People are struggling, hard.
When I left I was in a bit of a tailspin, I was stunned, shocked and frankly angry. After spending time with Hubs at lunch, processing my thoughts on it all and talking through things. I felt better. Was I still shocked, yeah, but in a different light. I know that God is the ultimate provider and while man may be focused on making life complicated, expensive and unyielding, God will provide. I stopped being a part of it all.
A part of it must have lingered, because I truly felt that the message yesterday was directed at me personally. I know my sweet Hubs often says I am a prepper, I'm not. I'm a homemaker. I am someone that puts on my apron and takes care of my family, my friends and others who need it. I have finally found the spot I belong in life.
I love growing our food, would I love a larger plot of land that I could plant and produce more, sure. But it's not that season in our lives. Maybe someday that is a path I will follow, now is not the time. I love canning and cooking. I cherish knowing what I am feeding my loved ones. I care about the things that the world today tries to make into seem "old-fashioned". Out of step with "modern times". I'm okay with that, I don't wish to be part of the disaster that I see with modern times.
I am caring for the earth, my loved ones, my community in the way I have been called to do for this place and time. Who knows where I will be later. Who knows what talents (Luke 19:11-27) the Lord will bless me with going forward, but like the first and second servants let me multiply those talents and bless my Lord with my gratefulness at his trust in me. Because I know that as I demonstrate my faithfulness and ability to manage what is given to me, I will receive greater gifts.
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| Beau agrees... |
Speaking of which... the shirts are finished and will be delivered this evening, the chores are complete and this woman is ready to make quilts... time to get busy multiplying my blessings. And while I am at it... might need to make up a few more aprons... I pray this club multiplies as well...
love and prayers...
Good one! 381+
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