It's okay, I'm not tired, just feel like it is an odd time to wake up. Guess I am conditioned to think that most people sleep later than that. And then I question who created that thought process and why do I care what most people do? The only other human in the house is Hubs and he gets up super early also, so I know that I am not disturbing him with my current odd sleeping hours. It's been so very long since I set an alarm that I feel it is probably just my internal clock aligning itself with the sun's rising and setting. I'm good with it.
Hubs and I decided to watch the movie 2000 Mules, we were curious as there is so much hype surrounding it and the fact that there aren't really any neutral reviews we decided to use our own discernment. Something I am finding folks struggle with doing a lot anymore. To say it was a heavy watch is an understatement. I have my own feelings about what has been going on and I can't exactly say that they are changed by watching it. In fact, I would love to see it broadcast far and wide and let everyone make their own enlightened decision. Do I think it will happen? No, I don't. Do I feel enough people will watch it on their own. Again, no. Most people are not going to spend the $30 to watch a movie at home.
For us, we are glad we took the time. We saw things that at first blush need to be explored far deeper than they have been. Additionally, I feel a stronger need to be far more careful with my digital footprint. Not what I put out on social media, I don't put anything out that I feel a need to hide or change. I am very careful about what I write, post, comment on or acknowledge. If I don't agree with something, but see no sense in joining the conversation then I simply don't.
I'm meaning my unintentional digital footprint. I've struggled with all of the ads that pop up non-stop every time I look at something, talk about something, or like when I went to the quilt show and almost immediately started receiving marketing on every single longarm machine that I tested. That annoys me to no end. But to hear of the thousands and thousands of apps that buy my digital data, from simply traveling around with my phone. Wow. Just WOW! Anyone that feels like they have a shred of privacy left and owns any electronic device needs to seriously reconsider that thought.
These times are definitely not the world that I want to be part of. I love the conveniences, just like everyone else. There are times when I remember waiting forever for a letter to arrive in the mail, when I had to walk to the post office to use the phone because the cost of one in the house was prohibitive. I remember those days, probably with rose colored glasses on, because I'm sure at the time it was horribly annoying and frustrating.
While I love immediate answers and connectivity. I adore being able to do quick research, to learn and explore ideas and thoughts that occur to me when I want to. Not having to wait to go to the library and hope someone has written a book about it. I'm questioning the fact that we no longer have any privacy.
I'm not sure if that was an unintentional conclusion of watching that movie or if it simply opened my eyes a bit more to things that I have already known and or suspected on my own.
The good old days had more privacy. They had a greater opportunity to live your life in a bubble of anonymity. Your life wasn't on broadcast to the world. Those days are long gone. I have nothing to hide in my life. I do choose to keep some of my ideas and beliefs to myself, but that is simply because I feel we live in a very judgmental world.
I try very hard to stay in a place of "you do you, I'll do me". We don't have to agree, we don't have to have the same ideals, values or lifestyles. The only time I become that judgy person - despite trying not to, is when I encounter those that simply can't follow that principal. Those that want to force you into a box that fits their thoughts and beliefs only, where you cannot have your own thoughts of feelings, you must conform to the group think crap. And then, I'm not really judgy, I simply move on. Again... you do you.
It took me a long time in life to get here. It took almost 4 decades of life to start to evolve into someone that stopped trying to play that game. I still have strong moments of insecurity, programming that I haven't been able to leave behind. Even writing my blog, I sometimes find myself editing out things that could be perceived by someone as controversial or out of the norm. Things that people mind judge or be ugly about. Even as I strive to walk out of that way of thinking and believing.
I guess it is easier to not walk against the flow. But is it better? I don't feel like it is. Having stepped almost completely out of societal norms in the past year, I find a greater happiness. A peace and calmness that was lacking in my life. Here at home with my family, pups, the friends I chose to be with, my garden and personal hobbies and activities, I find pure joy.
I have different values and ideas than even a year ago. I have a sense of not really caring how I fit into societies puzzles. And then I am reminded that every place I go, every key stroke I make, every idea that I explore is being tracked and monitored by some form of AI to either try to change my thoughts, influence my ideals and purchases, or provide someone insight into who I am for whatever reason. Well frankly, I find that super disturbing.
I definitely believe I could be one of those people that simply steps away from modern society as a whole. If it wouldn't mean leaving the people I love, I would do so tomorrow. A small self-sustaining farm far and away from the chaos.
There is a song that I love, I listen to it often, one of the lines says "We gotta go back to that place where all those good old days are at. If we're ever gonna get this crazy world of ours on track... we gotta go back". It often plays through my mind. I find my peace in going back. I am never going to be comfortable in the highly invasive, highly technical world that we live in now. I will always be trying to go back.
Well, this morning has started with some seriously heavy thoughts and ideas. I think it's time for me to go out and enjoy the beautiful sunrise, the birds chirping, my babies playing crazily in the yard and a hot cup of coffee before I get busy. Lots to do today... of course I am heading back...
love and peace to all...
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