learning and exploring...

How is it only 5 am?  I feel like it should be at least 9 or 10.  I have been hustling since I got up.  Woke up to a puppy surprise, there are definitely things that puppies shouldn't eat, even when they are the size of a full grown dog. Ask me how I know... There were actually several surprises, but they are cleaned up now.  Came downstairs to find the second one, must have happened right before we went to bed.  I will be cleaning carpets again this morning.  

And since I was already busy, I decided to start laundry and wash up all the jars I canned yesterday that were ready.  I still have 8 that I can't wash for a couple of hours.  I only got up at 4:15, had planned to go back to sleep, but... 

As I was washing the jars filled with yummy meals for us to simply heat and enjoy I was thinking about the things you can learn when you have time to experiment and research other's successes and failures. Historically, I canned jellies.  As someone that doesn't eat much jelly that was kind of a waste of time and they didn't get used up, so I simply quit when time became far too precious to waste. 

Now that I have time, I am experimenting.  Small batches of course, because no one wants 8 jars of failure.  I absolutely love jalapeno jelly, the spicy and sweet together are heavenly.  The problem, I don't eat sugar any longer, this creates a challenge, especially since the recipe needs a LOT of sugar.  So I gave it a go with one of the sugar substitutes, suffice it to say, not the right substitute.  It is more like a sweet jalapeno crystallized jelly, is the only way I can think to describe it. It's delicious, but I am not really sure how I will make it work.  I assure you I will find a way, but it definitely isn't jelly. Good thing I made a couple for my kiddo with regular sugar, she would not be impressed with that mess. 

The thing is, I have the time to try and fail.  I will use a different sweetener next time, maybe stevia (although it is not my favorite by a long shot), but I have read of people having success with it. 

Another thing I am learning is that there was so much wasted.  I started saving my scraps from my veggies, there are tubs in the freezer, when they are full, I use them to make broths. Right now my kitchen smells heavenly, I have two large crock-pots simmering, full of the carcasses of the chickens I bought after I put all of the meat into jars and canned them. Basically, when they are done I will probably end up with about 5 to 7 quarts of delicious chicken broth that was made entirely of items that I would have thrown away in the past.   I usually pay at least $4 a carton for broth.  Not a bad return on the investment of a little time. 

I grew up being told that all of the nutrients were in the peels, yet like most folks I peeled my carrots, cucumbers, potatoes, etc and tossed those in the trash bin.  I wasn't even smart enough to keep a compost bin going so that I had rich soil for my gardens.  I will admit that I have not been doing things very smart or efficient. 

I also started a new jar of vanilla extract.  I've been making my own for a few years now.  When the prices started getting crazy high.  That seems to be my motivation to learn most things.  Have they gotten too expensive (or at least too expensive for my cheap self).  In the past Hubs has bought me beautiful grade A beans to make my vanilla extract from.  They ultimately turned that golden brown color, but took what seemed like years (okay, it was years), before I started my current batch I did a lot of research, those darn beans aren't inexpensive and I'd been hearing I needed even more in a jar.  Ends up I did, but what I really needed were the grade B beans.  The grade A are more for fancy cooking and such.  The grade B are ugly, they are softer and full of the seeds that create that rich, deep brown extract.  Just like with many other things, you aren't looking for beauty if you want richness. 

The batch that is sitting on the counter is less than 18 hours old, it's already a deep, dark brown and smells like pure vanilla heaven.  I didn't even use a high quality vodka, just good old Trader Joe's. I followed a recipe that came with the beans, I figures what did I have to lose.  Besides the beans I purchased are specifically to make extracts, they should know right?

Each time I make something I am always thinking what else can I use this for, before I toss it out is there anything else that can be made?  I chopped up a beautiful watermelon the other day for dessert when we had company, as I was chopping I kept looking at the rind, ya know the light green part?  My parents always warned us to never eat that part, it wasn't good for you, it would give you an upset tummy, etc. So I'd never really given it much consideration.  I remembered that I'd seen several recipes using it in the older canning books I have so decided why not.  I mean I was only going to throw it away anyhow. 

Yeah, that will never happen again.  Just like with the peels of other fruits and veggies, it ends up that the amount of vitamins and minerals in those little pale green bits is incredible. Not to mention it is very tasty.  At least as a preserve.  I can't wait to use the next batch of rind in something else.  Mom and Dad weren't quite right on that one, but the odds are they were taught it by their parents. 

I also started my first batch of sauerkraut.  It is by far one of my favorite foods. So I am fairly excited to see how it turns out.  I will admit that my hands and arms are a wee bit sore today from the first steps of that.  I can see why they sometimes use a wooden mallet to pound it, as opposed to using your hands. It's got to be checked daily, as that is a new addition to my daily routine I definitely had to add it to the calendar. It will be a greater concern when I move it to the basement next week.  Remembering to go down and check it will take a bit of doing. Luckily the vanilla needs to be shaken each day also, so the two of them need to stay close together so I don't forget. 

I am having so much fun exploring my newest hobby. I'm still very mournful that I hadn't been raised doing this, mainly because if I had been doing this all along for meal prepping instead of all the other crazy ways I tried, life would have actually been a lot easier when I worked full time.  We would have been able to have a healthy home cooked meal every night, and the amount of money we would have saved.  I can't make myself think about it, because I will probably get angry and a bit sick to my stomach. 

Yeah, it takes a bit of planning and thought.  But the reality is that if it was a normal way of life for me since childhood, it wouldn't have taken much more time than all the wasted hours going out to dinner. 

Why do we not teach our children these lessons? I have forgotten most of the useless drivel crammed into my brain in school.  The classes whose lessons I have carried with me and used throughout the years were the very ones that most schools no longer offer.  Home Ec, shop, woodworking and art classes.  I'm not referring to the basics - reading, writing and arithmetic those are foundational.  No I'm talking about things that were actually able to be used for something other than getting obscure answers right at Trivia Night. 

I also remember planting beans in grade school. I still have every recipe I made in high school although I long since stopped pulling them out when I cook.  I learned basic budgeting for a home in home ec, I learned to use my mind and my hands in the other classes.  Those are the classes I treasure.  The rest of them... I can honestly say, I never used again. I doubt I am in the minority on that one. 

Oh, no... felt myself getting off on a tangent.  Felt myself getting ready to go down a path I don't have time for.  Yesterday an article popped up in my Facebook feed, it was about how the housewives in the 40's made their dollars stretch and took care of their families.  Why?  What is the book trying to foreshadow now?  It seems whenever things pop up like that there is often something coming. Who knows. Luckily, I utilize those skills on the regular, so... no worries on my part. 

Well, speaking of skills... time to get busy.  I have a BUNCH of jalapeno's that must be harvested and used up today.  I'm thinking Cowboy Candy to share with friends. Darn sugar. I'm also going to simply pickle up a few batches also... but for now the puppies are waiting impatiently for a walk. Despite having a fenced in yard to romp in they still love to stretch their legs and take in all the sniffs. 

love and peace...

p.s. sorry for the lack of pictures... if you could see my messes you would completely understand! And that little glass... bore the fruits of my first official barter Cherry Pie Moonshine anyone?

remember, remember...

It's Memorial day.  I have been part of so many wonderful, meaningful celebrations of this day over the span of my life.  I have spent this weekend taking scouts to Normandy and participating in laying wreaths in a small cemetery in France. I have placed flags and honored those that willingly gave up their lives so that our freedoms could be protected. Today is about those that paid the ultimate price.  

Yet, here I am sitting at home wondering how many in this country still honor and respects that.  I don't see any advertisements for celebrations or memorials.  There are signs everywhere to take advantage of sales as if that is something that is going to honor the men and women that lost their lives.  

I won't be going shopping or taking advantage of those huge sales.  It feels dirty and completely disrespectful.  I am going to take this day and do like I do most days, honor their sacrifices by working hard to live my best life, to take care of business and hold tight to the values that they fought so hard for. 

I think when you have walked national cemeteries (I highly recommend Normandy and Luxembourg), when you have led a group of 4-6th graders down the coast of Normandy and observed the silence of the waves crashing along the remains of the cement boats that brought them to their deaths, when you have witnessed the tank stoppers and seen the high cliff that was scaled at Pointe du Hoc on a cold, rainy morning.  I have led those same boys through the now quiet fields in Bastogne, where the infamous Battle of the Bulge occurred. We walked, learned and prayed where those lives ended.  You understand on a deeper level the sacrifice and loss.

I celebrate my freedoms, despite the fact that so many have forgotten what they are and seem willing to lay them at the feet of anyone that wants to take them like trophies in a battle. I'm not someone willing to do that.  Maybe it's because of the fact that every generation of my family has had someone serve to defend them.  Maybe it's because I have read the constitution and lived in places that don't have those same protections. 

In any case, today is a special day.  It's a solemn day of remembrance.  It's not the day to go and look for appliances at 30% off or whatever the stupid sales are about.  I understand that folks are struggling right now.  I completely get it.  I went to do our monthly grocery and supply shopping yesterday, I looked at the shelves that are sparsely filled, observed the ridiculous prices, made changes to our purchasing plans due to either lack or costs.  I put gas in my little car, and choked a bit at the price, was it really less than two years ago that it was so cheap? 

I'm not saying don't go take advantage of every sale you can find if it is something that you need.  But honor this day.  Take a moment to thank those that have passed on, it was their lives that allow us to continue to live and fight another day for the glorious freedoms we have. Even those of us that no longer understand the value of their gifts. 

Today, will be much like most of my days now.  I am engrossed in canning healthy food for Hubs and I, creating things that are not filled with chemicals and ingredients that are detrimental to our health.  I will do my chores, tend my garden, find time to knit and maybe even enjoy a dinner out with friends. I will continue to work hard on being as self-sufficient as possible.  To make decisions that will help us to navigate these times we are living in.  

I feel we are being treated like the frog in the boiling water, the temperature was slowly being increased and we were becoming numb to the effects.  Now I fear that so many are numb to the point they are willingly allowing the abuses and harm that is being inflicted.  The temperature simply keeps going higher and higher and too many are willingly being boiled alive without trying to fight for their rights and freedoms.  

I'm not that person.

I will never be that person.  I am hurting for those that are.  I have a strong need and desire to stay busy.  To push back the only way that I know how.  That is by becoming less and less reliant on what they are telling me I must buy and or do and by becoming more reliant on what my heart and spirit know I must do. I live in the suburbs, I will never raise my own meats, I don't have enough room for a full on garden, although I would willingly do it if I could, I am currently not allowed to have chickens for eggs (but who knows if that will be a forever thing) so I am still reliant to a degree.  But that degree is getting smaller all the time. 

Yesterday Hubs and I started to pick up napkins.  Something that seems so basic.  As we looked at the prices and availability we made the decision to switch to cloth napkins.  I do laundry anyhow, a few extra cloths are not going to be an issue.  I offered to make them, I have plenty of fabric.  Hubs felt I have plenty to keep me busy right now, so we decided to purchase the initial ones.  Found them pretty darn cheap and it's a start.  As I get more organized I will make us more. 

It's the little things that are leading up to a peace of mind.  I'm working hard, but I am working hard because it does bring me peace.  It brings me comfort to know that while I can't stop what is going on around me, I can choose to not participate in the insanity to a large degree.  I am enjoying the sense of control that these small efforts are bringing to me.  Ironically, some of these efforts are what would be considered "green" or sustainable.  

In a way, I feel like I am fighting a battle for freedom in a manner that I am able to do.  What are your thoughts? It's time to get busy... don't forget to honor the precious gift that has been given to you by those that have gone before.

love and peace...

questioning thoughts...

Come on coffee... that coffee maker can be so slow, especially when I am waiting not so patiently for my first cup.  That was my first thought at o'dark thirty this morning. It's been a busy week and I am quite behind on my own to do list, I made the decision early this week that I would put my own things aside and give the Hubs some help.  It's also been a week of time with family.  Those are both things that the old me would not have been able to do.  Putting aside the day to day hustle to focus on what is most important to me. 

I spent lots of time pressure washing, I'm fairly certain that I have sand in my eyes still.  But the areas I was asked to do turned out quite nice and clean.  Me on the other hand, I have never showered so much in my life, I felt a crazy need to seriously scrub myself after playing in all that mold and algae. They won't need me next week, which is a good thing, as I am quite behind on my list of to do's.  

I'd planned to jump right in this morning and just burn through the weekend.  We can't go anywhere because Hubs is covering for a couple of folks. It's okay though, because we are both bone weary, he is worse than I am.  Being a volunteer, I determined how many hours I was willing to expend on the project, being an employee - he wasn't. I gotta tell you, the work ethic in this country is getting worse all the time.  I was more than a little angry, not for myself, but for Hubs at the complete lack of work ethic displayed by the groups that I worked with.  

I also felt a bit sad when one of the other ones that was working hard walked up to me and asked me where I got my work ethic. Trust me, I was wondering the same as I watched people getting paid good money to work walking around on their cell phones and with their coffee cups.  Breaks are good, but dang, when you are up against a hard deadline, there isn't time for that nonsense.  Do the job, finish it and then do whatever the heck you want. 

Where did I get my work ethic?  I have no idea.  I like to say it was my upbringing, being a military brat is very different than a "normal" childhood.  At least I think that's the case. I never had a traditional childhood and I didn't raise my children in one.  It was just the way things were.  Chores were finished before play. It was expected that we would get jobs and earn our way. It's just how things have always been. 

I feel like I have a complete inability to simply shut off most days.  And when I do, like the afternoons this week, I feel so very guilty. I could barely see yesterday afternoon, I'd gotten so much gunk in my eyes that they were raw and blurry. So I sat.  That and the fact that I was physically exhausted.  My FitBit sure didn't measure the amount of physical work I did this week, my muscles on the other hand are letting me know they tracked every minute of it. 

My kids are the same way.  My girl will push herself to the end of her physical abilities, she works hard when she is working.  If you give her a job to do, she usually beats the deadline by a long shot.  My boy, is the same, but he isn't into physical work, but mental... watch out.  Sometimes I feel like I birthed a computer.  I will wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning and notice he is online.  He's two hours behind us, so that makes it 1 or 2 in the morning for him.  I'll say hi and ask what he is doing up so late, inevitably if he see's my messages the answer is "I just finished working, getting ready to head to bed". 

Both of them work hard, both of them play even harder.  They have a balance that I failed at.  I have that balance now. It's what allowed me in good conscious to put my own list aside and lend a hand this week.  Yes, I have to play a bit of catch up and that is what the bulk of this weekend will be about.  We are going out for breakfast with friends and catching the new Maverick movie this afternoon, Hubs has been dying to see it. 

treats for the babies... 

He's supposed to have a three day weekend, but it isn't going to happen, he has to go to work this morning.  It's incredible the selfishness of folks.  They all want something done, yesterday, yet never roll up their own sleeves to be a part of the solution.  They go and sit around enjoying their weekend, without a single thought to the folks that end up giving up theirs to make things happen. 

As I watched those paid employees walking around doing absolutely nothing, I could feel my blood pressure start to rise.  I wasn't there because I had a burning desire to pressure wash.  I was there because there was far more work than two people could accomplish on their own.  I was there because that is what you do, you help one another. 

If those paid employees had been working, not socializing, playing on their phones, walking around with their hands on their hips, etc, it would have been short work.  

So it definitely begs the question, where is the work ethic today?  Has it been deliberately destroyed?  I had my phone with me, in a plastic bag to keep it dry.  In three days time I touched it four times.  Once to answer a call and three times to call for help disconnecting the quick connects that hadn't been cared for and were seized up. I realize I no longer work a "traditional job" that I am no longer a supervisor or responsible for certain things.  Those folks don't supervise either.  They could easily have put away their electronic leashes for a few hours. 

It made me sad.  Not mad.  Just sad. 

I have always been fascinated by the Amish work ethic.  Not some of their practices, I've learned of things where they are concerned that break my heart, but their work ethic is impressive.  If they need to build a barn, they all gather together and BOOM there's a barn.  Canning, quilting, gardening, farming, working their stores, etc.  They hold true to the adage that idle hands are the devil's playground. 

It looks like somewhere along the way we have lost the ability to pull together, to work as a team to make things happen. Sadly, I think we are going to have to relearn that lesson to pull things together, not just in our own country but globally. 

How did we get broken to this extent?

I don't have an answer, I wish I did.  I naturally gravitate towards people that are hard workers, that care more about other's and are willing to be a part of the solution, not the problem.  I don't have patience for the folks that walk around feeling like the world owes them something. 

Will I willingly give my time again?  Maybe. It is totally situational.  I didn't volunteer for the organization.  I volunteered for the people I care about.  This project was for my Hubs and his buddy.  They are both important to me.  It helped that I liked one of the folks they were doing it for.  Would I volunteer if I didn't care about the people?  I don't know.  I used to.  I used to volunteer all of the time.  To the detriment of myself, I'm not the same person anymore.  Just because there is a job that needs someone's attention, doesn't mean I have to be the only one raising my hand.  It took me a long time to learn that lesson.  

If I volunteer now, it's because I care about the people, the project or realize there is a dire need.  Like when I spent a day filling sand bags. I'm not beating folks up for not volunteering.  I'm simply voicing my sadness at the people being paid to do a job that can't be thankful for the paycheck or for the volunteers helping to lighten their load. 

No one owes anyone anything.  

I don't know where I got my work ethic.  I just know that I would be so disappointed in myself if I didn't show up with intention in my life. 

While that coffee brewed this morning, I cleaned the kitchen and emptied out some very, very old jars of
jelly.  I have no idea what kind they were and probably made them at least 15 years ago.  They've been sitting on the shelf gathering dust for over a decade.  I almost threw the jars away a million times, but my frugal heart couldn't do it.  This morning, I dumped them out and scrubbed the jars (those things are like gold these days).  I simply have a deep need to be busy. 

No one made me do it.  My Hubs wouldn't mind if I spent the morning snuggling puppies. I just knew it was what was needed to start my day, to get me on track for the list of things I have set as my goal. 

Do you show up with intention?  If not, why?  I am genuinely curious.  I wonder if we are all wired differently?  Who knows maybe I am the one that is wrong and should learn to simply be?  I wonder...

Well, since I am not wired that way, as much as I would like to sit here with this puppy in my lap, I need to get ready to go to breakfast and start the day... 

love and peace....

deeper thoughts...

Is it crazy that I stood out in the treetop garden this morning thankful for the rain?  I'm tired today, more than that I am crazy sore.  I was brutally reminded yesterday that I am not in my 30's any longer. I spent my morning helping the Hubs.  He has a huge, labor intensive project and just like the rest of the world, not enough staff to accomplish the task.  I did it for him.  I will do it again.  Four straight hours of pressure washing is tough on a body that is closer to 60 than it is to 30 (Yikes... I just realized how very true that statement is... 3 years and a few months... how in the world did that happen?).

I promised to help finish it and I 100% will.  Seems there are not a lot of folks with the old work ethic around these days.  Feels like folks are more concerned with themselves and their successes and not so much about team work.  Besides it felt good to do something to help.  As a general rule, I don't volunteer my time anymore to certain activities, it doesn't have the same warm fuzzy that it used to.  For my Hubs... now that is an entirely different story.  If you know me well, you know that I am fierce about protecting my family. 

Since the rain is promising me a day of inside work, that is where my focus will be.  I need to run up to the grocery store here shortly, I ran out of sugar free pectin and want to get my sugar free blackberry jellies made today.  I also want to get the sugar free peach made also.  I only managed to finish up my Dijon mustard yesterday, after a morning drenched to the bone pressure washing, I was too exhausted to do much else.

I think I will have to make cowboy candy with all 
these red jalapeno's.  Should be pretty.

I never re-read my blogs after I have written them.  Maybe I should, I don't know.  I know I was on a bit of a roll the other day.  In fact, Hubs may have labeled me a "rantress" "if that is even a word".  Although he didn't disagree. While I was working yesterday I had the opportunity to catch up on a few of the vlogs that I am behind on, I don't think that I am alone in my concerns. 

Sri Lanka is just the canary in the coal mine.  Listening to mainstream information they are predicting a diesel shortage with rationing going on.  I'm concerned.  I'm also concerned about the sudden upswing in shootings.  I heard about the one in Texas last night and wanted to throw up.  

Do you question them?  I do.  Because we go for very long periods of time without anything like it and then suddenly... BOOM... there is a new one happening a couple of times a week.  It usually coincides with major events so as to distract us, it also always is immediately followed (in this case within hours) for a call to disarm the public.  

We have to start thinking far more logically about these things.  We have to start really thinking it through.  Stop accepting the media's story and start digging into what is really going on.  The reason I say this, I live in a larger city with an even larger urban area.  I rarely go downtown any longer, because of the fact that there are so many murders.  Not as bad as say Chicago, Detroit or say Baltimore, but still a substantially large number.  And who knows it could be more than those cities again, I don't work downtown any longer and don't really follow the statistics. 

Yes a mass shooting is horrific and I hope that everyone of the shooters rots in a hot spot for eternity. But the day to day shootings are larger in scope and no one is raising a concern on those.  Ironically, most of the places where gun violence is rampant are "gun free zones", I would assume a criminal feels fairly secure in the knowledge that they won't get shot there.  Our constitution gives us the right to bare arms.  So a gun free zone is a violation of the constitution.  Why are we always balking at the constitution.  If you want to have a gun, have a gun.  

What you cannot do is use that gun to murder.  That is a crime, already on the books, although at least in my city the prosecutors return those murders to the streets almost faster than they can arrest them. So what is the real problem?  The gun?  Or the human?

I am deeply in pain for those parents and loved ones.  I am also deeply in pain for the families of all the victims of random crime daily, where is that spotlight?  Where is the call to pay attention?  To see that the young man of yesterday had posted pictures on social media with his weapons and thoughts days before... that made me ill.  That means people knew he had issues that were bubbling.  But let's focus on the gun, an inanimate object that cannot act on it's own.  

There have been many other methods used to kill people.  Not just guns.  In the past few decades... there have been bombs made from fertilizer, pressure cookers, or possibly even planes (although, again I have my doubts).  What is the deeper reason here? What are we being distracted from?  Is it the skyrocketing cost of fuel?  Or groceries?  The fact that these incredibly weird weather patterns are affecting crops, particularly wheat (no I don't eat it, but millions do).  Or maybe it is they are trying to sneak in another "illness", ya know the one that has been around since the 50's?

When you have time to be still, to not be focused on the day to day distractions of a career, school, etc you also have time to process what is going on around you. The more I have that quiet time, the more questions I have.  As I am chopping or prepping for my next canning adventure I have lots of time to think about things.  Or when I am sitting quietly knitting or sewing.  While I am in my garden.  During these activities I am not worried about staffing, upcoming deadlines, budgets or anything else.  I am focused on our life.  When that noise level is so peaceful, there is so much that becomes bright and clear. 

All around us businesses are closing.  Rents are being raised on the small businesses by mega corporations that benefit either way, if it is filled they have income, if it is sitting empty they have a tax write off.  If the community suffers because of it, they really don't care. Some of them can't get inventory or supplies.  And most are struggling to figure out a business model that doesn't require as many people to keep the doors open. 

Could I go back to work, fill one of those holes.  Of course.  But that isn't what I want to do with my life, it isn't what Hubs wants me to do. Will I if needed, of course.  For us that isn't a need at this moment.  For this moment I am focused on what Hubs and I need.  I have a good number of friends that also see what is going on in a different light than the media wants us to.  They struggle with finding time for the things that I am able to do right now.  They worry about the rising costs and how to make ends meet.  They also know that an increase in pay is only going to equal an increase in costs, so you live in that proverbial catch 22.  

I don't have solutions.  I absolutely don't have answers.  There are people that are far more intelligent and forward thinking than I am that are going to come forward with those.  I feel more like the one that will be there to help fill the gap while these things are sorted out.  My old fashioned soul will help others learn.  Thinking about the passion with sour dough breads that occurred in 2020, was that a warning shot to learn to be self-sufficient?  I don't know.  

Today will involve some canning, a bit of sewing (I have to hem a set of curtains to block the blazing sun that we encounter each summer), a run to the grocery store (yes, I am up for the dose of panic and depression it will bring), cleaning my house and getting dinner ready for a visit from our eldest.  I'm not going to be working on solutions to global issues.  I'm going to be focusing on what I am feeling called to do by my heart and soul during those quiet times.  I'm working on the smallest of issues.  Maybe if we are all focusing on the smallest of issues instead of all the distractions, we might accidentally solve a lot of those huge issues. 

I offer it every time I think about it.  I am available to share any knowledge I have acquired over my lifetime, I am a sponge for any new knowledge you want to share with me.  I will always bow my head and lift up a prayer request the moment I see it, and I will always focus on sending love and light into our universe.  

The thing is, none of us are wrong, we are all looking at things through different lenses and perceptions.  Some of us are being shown things very differently than others.  The trick is how do we work together to reach the pure truth?  

Who knows... I don't... I'm just going to keep on, keeping on.  I'm going to pay attention to what is going on around me and I am going to focus on a better future for all of us.  Sadly, I feel in my heart that we are going deeper into a very dark time, and that it is only united and together that we come out on the other side to love and light.  Count me in, I'm prepared to be someone that is willing to work together to get there. 

Mom!!!  She took my bone again....

Okay... that is enough... I need to get busy doing the things and processing my feelings and thoughts along with tomatoes, peaches and blackberry juice.  And possibly some jalapeno's before they die on the vine. 

peace and love...   

careful...

Have you ever had one of those days that is so jam packed, that you get so much done, that you stop and feel like every muscle in your body hurts and you just can't function? Yeah, me too.  

By the time I stopped at 2:15 pm to shower and get ready for my youngest grand daughter's tumbling program I was wiped out. My hands felt like claws and I was absolutely on the exhaustion bus. Hubs and I got up and we must have had an abundance of energy from resting the day before, because we got busy and stayed that way! 

It was like we were on some crazy mission to accomplish the entire to do list.  Poor guy has an equally busy, physical day today also.  He will be outside pressure washing for hours.  I hope he takes it easy and I hope the weather warms up a bit.  It's only 46° outside this morning.  I am seriously wondering about Mother Nature this year.  Wasn't it only a week ago that it was over 90°? Both of those extreme's make pressure washing unpleasant. 

I will be busy too.  We stopped by my favorite produce stand and picked up some great deals.  Today will involve blackberry jam, tomato soup, finishing the beef broth, starting another couple of batches of beef broth (I cook them for about 24 hours on slow in my crock-pots - super rich and ready for delicious dinners), and then I have a couple of other recipes that I want to explore.  I also need to start organizing all my beautiful jars and tidying up the man cave, which is where they are currently residing. 

I'm also hoping to make some progress on the beautiful pair of socks, I'd like to finish them so that I don't feel guilty starting a new project, I have a quilt that is waiting for attention on the long arm.  I thought I had the perfect backing for it, but I'm not so sure now.  It's definitely a 1980's quilt top and the backings I thought would match are a much richer tone.  Not excited about the pairing. 

I've seen a few meme's lately that point out the time difference between 1918 - 1970 - 2022 or at least I think that is the spread... anyhow it's not even 5 am, I'm not doing math.  Pointing out the time difference.  The first time it shocked me a bit, especially as I was born pre-1970... I'm a 60's baby.  Then I started thinking about the things I used to consider oldies only to realize that that they were now considered antique's.  Huh?  When did that happen?  It doesn't feel like time is moving, but it is. 

In the 70's the early 1900's were so very far away.  The distant past.  People, transportation, everything was so much more primitive.  Is that how the youth of today feel?  Do they look at polyester clothing, rotary phones and tupperware in the same way?  Thinking it is quaint, possibly something to collect (WHY?) or do they think about it at all?  I sure don't see a lot of nostalgia pieces popping up.  I mean yeah, sometimes the old t-shirt designs and of course Scooby Doo (he's eternal).  The rest not so much.  For a minute the stores tried to bring back the prairie dresses and the like for women, they didn't appear to be such a big hit.  I see them in stores, I have yet to see them on a person wandering around. 

When we used to put together trivia nights for fund-raisers, Hubs always had a section called dead or alive.  It would list two famous people and you would have to say if they were alive at the same time.  I don't remember the names, but it was always shocking when you would find out that they would seem like they were from different centuries or times and find out that they were from the same time frame.  Different parts of the world or different cultures lead one to feel that they should never have been alive at the same time. 

I don't know.  At times everything seems cyclical and at others... well it feels like we have jumped timelines.  Yesterday I was listening to some things while doing my work.  A dear friend from so long ago, not quite the 70's - more like early 80's, had shared a comedy routine he'd done recently.  It was great.  It made me wish that I could have seen the whole show, maybe he has a new career?  I don't know, but he definitely made me laugh.  And having known him for a moment in time, I could see the zany guy he was when he was younger telling those very tales. 

Cyclical. 

Me?  There are times it feels cyclical, and other times that I feel like I just chose to stay in another time. Right about now, I am extremely thankful for the fact that I have retained so many of the old skills.  I love being old-fashioned. 

Life is getting a bit fuzzier every single day. I don't often listen to the mainstream news, it doesn't feel like information to me.  It feels like I am being told a story.  I listen to news that other countries put out and I listen to non-traditional sources, it's actually quite an eclectic collection.  I feel I get a better picture of what is truly going on. 

I'm fairly sure that there will be another push to lock everyone down further, especially given that gas is being predicted to go over $6 a gallon in the next two months (this was even from mainstream news - JP Morgan to be exact).  I mean if people can't afford gas they aren't going anywhere.

I mean a super rare virus has managed to show up in 12 countries in the same week, really folks?  It's been around since the 50's.  Many people contract it every year and if you research it before the information is edited and changed you will know this.  But hey, let's push another lock down.  There is a lot of stuff out there if you are interested in finding it, it's not my job to do that. 

Just look at the utter chaos the last bit of ridiculousness has left us to deal with.  The toilet paper shortage was simply the tip of the iceberg and it put a really bright spot light on the way people will react in a crisis.  I still have the images of people hauling out tons of tp to load up their cars, some people will never again in their lifetimes buy toilet paper, think about it. 

Yesterday I saw a video from LA, a woman was asking another woman why she had just put literally all of the available baby formula in her cart.  Trying to explain that other mom's, herself included, needed that formula for their babies also.  The woman didn't offer even a jar of it, and the cart was stuffed, she simply said you should have been quicker.  Huh?  My heart could have never allowed me to do that. 

Folks really need to stop listening to "talking points" around oil and fossil fuels and think for a few darn minutes.  One of my favorite YouTubers is always saying "use the brains God and granny gave you".  I understand the various thoughts regarding electric cars and such.  There are other ways to do it.  I'm not even talking about using those items to fuel our vehicles, although I have truly considered the need to acquire a good old fashioned push mower... Folks need to start thinking about the deeper layers.  Not just how am I going to get to work or go do my fun stuff.  

Petroleum is in a great number of things that you use every single moment of every single day.  What happens when they can't be made the same way?  Are you ready to make and or repair with scarce parts the stuff you need?  Have you put tires on a car lately?  I mean seriously?  We did in January for mine, the tires for my car were almost double what we'd paid for tires on Hubs truck a year before. 

Shanghai is still under a lock-down from the first control, it is where most of the items leaving China come from.  That is what is causing the shortages in many areas.  Their ships are sitting in harbor empty (workers cannot go to their jobs creating the things we expect) or unable to leave (the crews are still locked down). Once they are finally able to leave their homes and go back to their jobs how long is it going to take?  Abbot Labs was shut down - that one makes absolutely no sense - but there will be at least a six week delay to getting formula on shelves once they can reopen. 

We don't import wheat (or didn't), yet in this time of crisis our government has chosen to export 1/3 of our grain to another country.  One that isn't much larger than a few of our states crammed together.  Does that math make even the slightest sense?  Does any of it truly make sense?

And don't forget that now there is a huge spread of lot numbers of peanut butter from a wide span of time that have to be disposed of due to the CDC warning of botulism.  Strange.  Frankly, I don't even want to ask the universe what's next... because I am sure there are at least a few other things waiting in the wings.  

Here's the thing.  I'm not worried.  I know that I have crazy skills in a lot of areas.  Maybe my life long passion of learning the older ways was an unrealized premonition.  Things are a royal shit show since the last game played on us.  How much do you think the next one will harm us?  

I was talking with my girlfriends this weekend, we were talking about folks not wanting to work these days.  Yet as the conversation evolved we realized that maybe, just maybe the whole thing wasn't about folks not wanting to work as it was about the closings of schools, businesses and such for an extended period of time reset people's mindsets.  Maybe the fact that daycare's don't have spaces forced folks to realize that they did not need as much money as they thought.  Because when you are forced to re-evaluate your needs vs your wants, many times you find out that you can definitely exist on a far leaner salary than you originally thought. 

When you eliminate the need to have two vehicles (or less driving if you keep one), going out for meals, having a professional wardrobe, paying for day care, etc and you think about the previously unknowns... better health (it's amazing what happens when you cook at home), quality time with your own children, time with family, less stuff needed for the day to day... well... maybe it isn't that people don't want to work.  Maybe it's that the work force has changed, maybe it's that people are making better decisions for themselves?

Oh who knows.  My brain gets twisted in a million different directions.  What I do know, is Hubs and I are going to continue doing what is best for our family.  We are moving things forward for us. 

Well, I know... I am on a rant.  I'm tired of people hurting and being forced into boxes... so if I offended you with my thoughts... I started to say I'm sorry, but I'm not.  I simply want more of us to think, to process what is going on and to have intelligent conversations about it. I refuse to live in fear and I am definitely using the brain that God and granny gave me.  I question everything!

love and peace...

there are days...

It's so quiet in the house right now.  The pups are snoozing away, Beau has hijacked my chair - literally every time I have gone to sit in it today,  He has definitely been giving me a run for it.  And my sassy Belle doesn't want me to do anything that isn't about her, I love my life!

Hubs is taking a late nap or else he simply decided to call it a night.  I am leaning into column b as it is pushing 7 pm and he hasn't come down.  Nope, he just came down, not sure if he had an alarm set or not, but she's been wanting to see the old movie that is on all week. I have no idea what movie it is, just that it is black and white and full of folks I couldn't even begin to name. 

It was a busy 36 hours, we're all worn out. This beautiful, cold, dark and rainy day is not making it any better.  I almost took a nap myself, but those kind of things insure I don't sleep at night, so I got up and puttered around the house instead. 

It was yard sale day.  And I don't hide my feelings about yard sales.  Today was made much more enjoyable by friends joining us, we helped all of them make a few sales and we had fun hosting the yard sale and trying to keep everyone dry and warm.  It's amazing how much you can put into one garage. 

I didn't end up cleaning any of it up, I ended up leaving all of it sitting there.  Unlike last year we couldn't really drag it to the resale shop, I mean Noah wasn't available to transport and as much rain as came down, we decided it could simply wait. That is a job for tomorrow, or whenever the rain stops.  

Instead we visited with friends.  We talked about silly things, serious things, gardens, canning, the world, jobs and dreams.  We shared two amazing meals together and we just savored life.  It was fantastic. Having people that are part of your tribe hanging out with you for hours makes life feel richer. 

I seriously thought about digging into the day and getting things done after things died down.  Yet as I stretched out on the sofa watching everyone else sleep, I decided I should practice what I preach and take some time to rest.  My chores can wait.  My to do list will still be there. This afternoon was the perfect rainy day to take life slower. 

I had fun talking to folks, trying to understand their likes, dislikes, wants and needs.  It was interesting.  Most folks seemed to be just browsing, some spent hours looking through clothes and talking about needing things.  One guy came up asking me if I had any pocket knives, men's pocket watches or even wrist watches.  He asked about gold coins, silverware, family treasures we wanted to part with.  The conversation was odd.  A bit sleazy, an odd attempt to be sly. He even answered his phone asking the person on the other end why they were bothering him while he was at work. A few argued every price set or made crude comments.  It was an experience.

Yep, it was interesting.

I enjoyed visiting with my Hubs and friends.  Ultimately it ended early, the rain was simply too bad to continue.  The sky was pea green and the winds were roaring, so we closed the garage and sat around socializing.  

Sometimes you simply need to stop for a moment.  Do the things and rest when needed. That's what I've done today.  Tomorrow I will consider being a grown up again. 

love and peace

busy. doing. life.

Another busy day here at the homestead.  By 6 am Hubs and I were cleaning out the storeroom downstairs.  Hauling stuff out that has honestly just been shoved there over the years.  Our contribution to the subdivision yard sale is going to be lots of low priced stuff.  I am not looking to pay off the house, I just want it out of my house! We also spent a small amount of time organizing the store room.  Very small amount of time, but... every bit is a start. I'm stopping for a short moment, my "good" knee is not happy.  I have been climbing stairs non-stop today and I'm not done.  Have I mentioned that I don't care for yard sales?  Although I do love removing clutter.  So many first world problems in that statement.  

I think I have finally finished removing all of the "professional" clothes from my closet, I'll do another quick look through today.  That was all a part of a life that I have happily left behind and have zero desire to go back to.  There is absolutely no reason to hold on to any of it.  Although I will admit to not being willing to part with my favorite sweaters, yes, I am aware that they are now about 5 sizes too big, but they are just so awesome for curling up in on a dreary day.  The rest of it is moving along, hopefully there is someone out there that needs a very pricey collection of professional clothing for a very, very inexpensive price! 

I'm also getting rid of a couple of briefcases that my sweet Hubs bought me.  They were incredible when I needed them, but they belong to a very different life.  One that I am not going back to, so hopefully there is someone out there that would benefit from them as well. 

As you can see this is definitely not a normal suburban homestead kind of day.  It is simply a time to stay busy and keep moving the needle forward kind of day.  I do have the dehydrator filled and running, but highly doubt I will get any canning done at all.  Simply no time today. 

All of it matters though, every single bit.  

Maybe tomorrow afternoon we will get my new garden bed up and plant the lilacs, it might wait until Sunday, something tells me we will be exhausted come tomorrow afternoon. 

 

So much how yesterday went...

Well, as much as I want to sit here and write, you can tell by the disjointed way I am writing that my mind is in too many places today.  My to do list is banging around up there and my subconscious is telling me to get with it. 

Take care and keep moving forward... 

love and peace...

p.s. Belle and I had a chat yesterday and I told her that she needed to stay still for a few photo's so everyone didn't decide Beau was the favorite... she understood the assignment.

hustle kind of day...

Whew.  Yep that describes me right this minute.  Hard to believe it is already 9:30 am.  It's been a hustle type morning, all except for the thirty minutes that Beau decided he needed snuggles.  I mean, who can resist puppy snuggles from the melty boy?  He 100% just melts when you let him sit in your lap.  I guess that makes up for yesterday, which was a slow motion kind of day. 

Just got home from the girls' house, I potted up a bunch of her mint that was growing insanely in her strawberry bed.  Now she can sell small pots at her yard sale and her strawberry bed is thriving again. The bonus was the big batch of ones that broke to close to the roots to be potted, those are going to be a nice refreshing mint tea for me. 

It's coming up to yard sale crunch time.  Hubs got some tables for me, so I will start setting and loading them up. Lots of work to do the next few days.  I simply want to be done with some of this stuff.  It's not things we use anymore, so hopefully someone else is looking for a bargain and something they need.  

I will admit that I am looking at things from a very different perspective lately though.  It truly has to be something that we are absolutely not going to use for anything to get rid of it.  If it's clothing that I can alter, well... guess what is getting altered.  Shoes... if they are practical and fit, they might not be going anywhere.  

Honestly, I am getting very concerned for the state of not just our country, but the world.  At what point do people put their foot down and say enough?  I mean I know I've been saying it for a long time.  But sooner or later there has to be a massive no, a global no.  A serious push back.  

Seriously, have you been outside of your house lately?  I had to run to the store last night.  Hubs had gassed up my car so I haven't been to the gas station in a bit.  I was sick to my stomach to see $4.49 a gallon for regular.  I was also humored greatly to see what appeared to be a good old fashioned price war.  The corporate gas station on the corner was at $4.49 and the parking lot and pumps were empty.  Usually there is at least someone using the car wash or shop.  But nope, it was completely empty.  Right across the intersection the 7-11 which is usually empty was selling gas for $4.27 a gallon and had lines out into the road. I don't know if he didn't get the message that all gas stations are required to price gouge at the same rate or if he just said screw it, people need gas and a little of something is better than a lot of nothing.  I have no idea, but bravo hero, bravo!

The last couple of times I went to the grocery store I was dumb struck.  By several things, the lack of products and the high prices.  Granted American's are very, very spoiled and we are used to having everything we could possibly dream of, but dang.  When basics are hard to come by, there is a problem brewing.  A big one. 

Later today I will run out to the feed store, a few of my tomato plants do not look like they are going to make it.  I don't want to wait too long to replace them, as there are not many left available, seems everyone is growing gardens this year. And it is far too late in the season to start them from seed again. Poo.

I saw on the news this morning that Target is having a really bad year financially.  It wouldn't surprise me to see a lot of that, in fact as I read the article and the comments I had to really process what I was reading.  When are people going to remember there was a time that folks paid less than $10,000 for a home and bread and milk were around a nickle.  And salaries were much lower.  But here's the thing, folks were complaining about not making enough money to afford things.  Truth is... currency is a game. It's arbitrary and never set in our favor.  Think about it. Seriously, think about it. 

I don't know if you order from Amazon, I do.  Only because I hate to shop.  Although I feel I will be stopping shopping from them fairly soon, I'm getting annoyed.  I pay for Prime, it's a good deal.  What is not a good deal is that every time I order lately I get notice after notice that my order is going to be delayed.  I guess they are suffering the same issues as everyone else, but I am tired of being told when I order that my order will arrive on X day and then find out later on X day that oops... it's not going to be there like we said... it might be another day or two.  

Why?  Because they delivered it to the post office to be delivered. Why is that?  New contract?  An attempt to boost up the postal service?  I don't know.  What I do know is that I am getting fed up. I don't mind waiting, but tell me that up front so I can make an informed decision regarding using your business as opposed to another. Just like I will rarely order from companies that ship with FedEx, our FedEx delivery folks are just downright awful. 

Dad will you share your snack?

Okay, well my blood pressure is starting to go up, so it's time to get my shower taken and get back to work.  Like I said this was a day that I hit the ground running.  I have mint tea to make and I am going to prep some yummy zucchini chips to put in the dehydrator. Definitely time to get back to taking care of business... 

love and peace...

p.s. Our sweet Belle is still very, very loved and adored... it's just super hard to get pictures of her anymore as she is always on the move. Still and calm are not in her vocabulary. 

defining balance...

I completely hate disturbing my big cuddle bug when he is deep in sleep.  But the bird screeching in the back doorway had me terribly concerned I was getting ready to have a feathered friend.  When you try to move a 50 pound puppy you aren't going anywhere fast.  Luckily his sister hurried into the kitchen to see what the ruckus was, so no bird friends today.  Thank goodness.  I love birds - outside.  

I'm off to a slow start today, I'm fairly sure it has a lot to do with the thunderstorms that rolled through this morning.  They woke me early and were so loud that I never fell back asleep.  I'm also fighting with myself.  I want to get busy, I have quite a bit to accomplish today, but I am also aware that my right knee is aching and swelling.  That knee is still the original, so to speak, and both are/were terribly damaged.  I need to rest it, that is what it is telling me. My chores are telling me something very different.  I wonder if there is a happy medium?

.... okay happyish medium?

I've been bouncing between writing, chores and helping Hubs for the past few hours.  I feel very unstable in my routine today.  I normally get up and get to it.  I am used to working my way through my list without hiccups.  I think the hours I have spent canning lately are the reason my knee is scolding me, that and climbing the stairs repeatedly, I still lean into it primarily for activities to keep the other one from aching.  What is it I keep saying about balance? It is evidently a very difficult lesson for this stubborn woman to grasp. 

I finally got all of the treetop garden planted yesterday evening, I wanted it done before the rain.  I am so glad I did, I am fairly positive those delicate young plants wouldn't have stood a chance in the wind and heavy rain we were blessed with. Yet they all survived beautifully in their new pots.  

Hopefully my new raised bed for the backyard arrives today.  I am anxious to get the rest of my plants in dirt, these ones will come from seeds, so the longer it takes to plant the longer it will take to get harvesting.  I had planned to put it at the side of the house.  Now... I'm just not sure.  I am fairly positive it I gather up some of the rocks and soil they removed when they put my post holes in I could put them along my back fence line, where I could see them and make sure they aren't disturbed, instead of on the hill.  I don't know, Hubs and I will look at it more in-depth when it arrives. I am also trying to figure out how I can plant some pumpkins.  Any ideas?  Those don't do extremely well in planters and my raised bed will be 3 ft off the ground.  I would just love to grow pumpkins.  Listen to me.  I still need to get the lilacs in the ground and here I am planning pumpkins?!  I need to stop. 

I finally went through my vast cookbook collection.  Most of it will be available at the yard sale and then my local Savers on Saturday.  It is not coming back into the house.  Although I had a few treasures that I had forgotten I owned.  Including 5 older canning books.  I was very excited to find those.  I have canned off and on for over 30 years (now that was a shocking number to write) and have collected different books on the subject.  But with a multitude of moves (former military spouse remember?) and jobs that required so many hours, I had forgotten that I even owned them. FYI - those stayed.

I also started cleaning out a book collection that is so old I could almost read them all again and be surprised.  I did keep a few that I simply don't recall ever having the time to read.  The rest, oh they will be available too, including a 17 year collection of leadership books that I frankly never want to open again. 

They will be right beside a very professional wardrobe that I no longer want or need.  I plan to be highly unprofessional for the rest of my life.  I will keep a few nice outfits for those unavoidable times that you are expected to look and act like an adult, but those are going to be few and far between.  Jeans, sweats and shorts make up the bulk of my wardrobe now and I love it!  Not going back!

I also cleaned out some of the cupboards of one off's.  Those random craft or kitchen gadgets that we thought we would use, but the truth is, it's simply not going to happen.  The Pampered Chef Mandolin is history, before I harm myself with it - I have determined those things are lethal weapons, at least for me. 

Today is going to be haphazard, I've determined I am alright with that.  In a few I will head down to my girls house, I am going to tackle the catnip and mint, since we had so much rain it will be a super easy job.  I also want to do it nicely so that he yard doesn't look like a crazed person got loose. Hopefully it is cool enough that any little snakes choose to stay somewhere warm.  And then I will get busy on decluttering the house again.  I don't like doing yard sales, but I don't like clutter even more, it's time for it to go somewhere else. 

this one cracked me up, he touched her while 
she was getting loves... she moves fast...

Remember we have to define balance before we can create it... 

love and peace...