For me nothing beats the beauty and absolute peace that I find during this time of the year. The sudden shift in the weather has prompted the leaves to suddenly start to change, our tree out front has already started it's yearly leaf dump. It doesn't gracefully drop leaves, a few multi-colored leaves per day, it simply dumps them all, one fell swoop. One day full, the next day it's bare.
I love the change. It definitely fills my heart with absolute joy.
I am officially past the seven week mark in my recovery journey and each morning has brought me a bit more in the way of freedoms and abilities. I still wish that it wasn't so slow sometimes, but truthfully, I am slowly starting to move into a space where I appreciate it. It is teaching me to take a few more moments in time to savor things, to fully appreciate it all. It is definitely the reset that I have needed after far too many years of moving far too fast. No opportunity to slow down and savor the moments and life around me.
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| my view doesn't suck |
I am finding that I finally have the energy and time to make plans, to cook, to dream, to work on me as a human delving deeper than ever into my own spirituality. It's invigorating. It's inspiring. I don't think I ever really took the time in the past to dig into things that inspire me. To find the things about myself that I find inspiring.
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| who knew grain-free could be yummy? |
I don't miss the days of checking off boxes.
Although it is very ironic I say that, because I have picked up a habit that I had long ago forgotten about, and it completely involves checking off boxes. When I was a much younger woman, and trying to keep my life organized I make lists, LONG lists. I did it a bit at work, but my home lists were the ones that I focused on. To hold myself accountable to myself and my family. I stopped years ago. The reason I stopped? Because it was depressing to see so many things left undone. I was simply unable to keep up, if sleep was a hobby I wanted to continue to pursue.
As I am starting my own business, creating the foundation and laying out my plan, I wanted to make sure that I organized all my bits and pieces. That I didn't lose my way on my journey. I do not ever want to return to the way things were. Where the everyday gets lost. I need the every day, I crave it. I also know I am passionate about the path I am embarking on. I need the two parts to come together seamlessly.
I guess nowadays they refer to them as bullet journals, I don't know that I am that organized. And I definitely know that I should have spent far more time practicing my penmanship as a young child if I was ever going to do one of those. Mine looks more like chicken scratch, and I write far too large for a bullet journal. I found a calendar that suits my needs perfectly. It's spiral bound so I can write in it easily and it has LONG columns for the day. I am able to put all of the things I want to focus on in it. If it is completed it gets a highlighter line through it, if it lingers, it gets moved forward and scratched off. If it is more personal healing type of item that I will not have the ability to complete on a new day, it simply gets lined through. I know I didn't complete it, I gently scold myself and then set my intention to so better the next day.
This is also helping with another issue I have found since I have walked out of the "real work world", for lack of a better way to put it, I finally remember what day it is. I have lived in a bubble of not knowing for quite some time now. Like a little child, time has become irrelevant, unless I had to be somewhere or someone needed something from me. Now that I am using my calendar, I can actually tell you the day of the week - if I look at the top of the column.
We'd had a very busy weekend. Installing fans/lights in the two rooms that had none - our friend definitely deserves a medal for his help with that beast of a project. Tidying up from it was not a lot of fun either, but that is almost finished. I need Hubs to carry down the supplies that will make me too off balanced on the stairs. Taking the new mattress to the camper, woohoo, can't wait to sleep on something not sticking into my ribs and also hauling the old one into the truck - bulk pickup is tomorrow - goodbye old lumpy mattress! In the midst of all that we found time to drive through Lone Elk Park and take a walk or two and enjoy nature!
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| camera lens wasn't wide enough... full rainbow! |
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| the harvest moon 2021 |
Monday as I was looking for something on "the desk" in the kitchen, I finally decided to do something about that disaster. If you look closely in some of the pictures I've posted over the last few years, you will see it in the background taking on a life of it's own. Anything not having a home, needing looked at again, or things needing shredded simply piled up there. All of it was waiting for someday. Guess what, someday simply doesn't come if you don't will it into existence. And I knew I needed a clean work space. I am that person that becomes paralyzed when surrounded by messes.
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| my office space |
It happens in my studio, it happens in the kitchen, when confronted with piles of ironing, etc. I need it to be clean and organized to start, or I simply freeze. I can't move forward. It's not even a matter of not wanting to, it's a matter of can't. It's like my brain becomes obsessed with everything that isn't right. Eventually, I will do what I did on Monday. I will tackle it. I will throw things away. I will organize everything. Or I will clean it to the state I need it to be able to function.
Instead of a massive pile of crap, because most of it was just that. I now have a clean desk set up and I even felt brave and organized enough to get my new business cards out. I even started on my webpage. It's not ready to share with the world yet, but the plan is coming to life. Fresh air is lifting it higher into the light, simply by cleaning and clearing my space.
Today I am going to clear space in my studio. I am also going to start working on a project that has patiently waited for me to be strong enough. I can finally stand and sit without my leg elevated enough to dig in. I am fairly positive I will have the top and bottom of the quilt finished by the end of next week - normally it wouldn't take that long, but I have to respect my limits. I will admit I am nervous of standing at my longarm machine for any length of time, but I also know that as quickly as I am healing, I might be able to move mountains before too long.
Unless I get called for jury duty next week. That will throw a monkey wrench in my plans. I guess I will worry about that come Friday...
Well my friends... find a way to celebrate this wonderful first day of Autumn. Celebrate Mabon and rejoice in the beauty that the changing world is showing us. Life is far too short to not make time to find the joy in the smallest gift life gives you!
Good one! 381+
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