On Saturday night as we headed out to have dinner with our two oldest girls (Hubs' very first with his oldest) the sky finally decided we had suffered enough! The heat and humidity were so heavy even breathing was uncomfortable, all that anyone wanted was to be inside with air conditioning set on freezer!! Throughout the day it had been getting a bit more ominous outside.
As the wind picked up blowing the hot humid air around, it was not a welcome relief. The only thing worse that stagnant humid air is moving humid air. The dampness surrounds you, everything feels wet and sticky. You could feel it coming, and all you could do was hope it would break the heat and humidity.
The clouds were deep and heavy, it was going to be a gully washer. It didn't disappoint. The lightning display was spectacular and standing outside at the end of the evening with Hubs' oldest we were watching the sky light up in a way that looked like it was coming from the ground up in a thousand different lines. It was intense.
Sunday dawned so much calmer and cooler. We were even able to get our float trip in with the girl. First time I think we've ever done something with just her since the grands were born. It was breezy and comfortable. We both enjoyed having time to spend one on one with her.
That wind stayed powerful though. All day Sunday and Monday the wind just roared around us.
It was not like tornado weather, no vortexes of wind, just powerful enough that branches were ripped off of trees and the treetop garden suffered a bit. We lost a few branches from one of the largest tomato plants and from the red chili peppers. The beans look like they will be okay, but they definitely suffered some wind damage.
Today, I am sitting here enjoying the sunshine through the leaves, wrapped in a sweater, because the heat left. In a big way! Last week's heat index was well over 100 degrees. This morning it is a cool 50 degrees, as a temperature shift, that is pretty darn dramatic.
I don't do well when it's hot. It zaps my energy faster than one can imagine. A heat filled environment can literally make me want to curl up in a ball and refuse to do anything. Honestly, that pretty much described Friday and Saturday. I wanted to blame the pain in my leg, the exhaustion from my adventure with the dragon, plain laziness (as I didn't do a single chore) any and everything was the target of my displeasure and exhaustion those two days. Truth is, it was mostly the heat.
As the temperatures have dropped to human level, not reptile, I've had far more energy and desire to be part of life. My chores are almost caught up. I've been in my "office" sewing, cleaning and enjoying (yeah that literally slipped out of my mouth yesterday at breakfast). My creativity is back and I am ready to tackle life. Shoot, I've even planned dinner, Hubs is going to be surprised! Now I just need to set an alarm so I remember to cook it.
I often forget how we as humans are so much a part of our entire environment. When it's hot and fussy outside, chances are it's hot and fussy inside too. Saturday my sweet hubs was definitely sporting his grizzly bear suit, not his usual teddy bear one.
I felt so terrible for the pharmacist and the barista. That raging temper was seriously out of control as he was angry at the world and they were the target for his rage. As the storm passed you could see his storm fade also. He was uptight and nothing seemed to be going right. Each first with his oldest brings up a flood of turmoil. A mixture of regret (for all the time lost), uncertainty, anticipation and a touch of fear. Life has taught him to expect the worst from people. To be cautious, because hurt can happen without rhyme or reason. He doesn't want any more loss. I don't blame him. He's had enough.
As soon as the family arrived, full of hugs, love and smiles he shifted back. The storm had passed for him as well. He is the kindest, most giving person I have ever known. He's a lot like my beautiful tomato plant that the storm battered. He weathers the storms life throws at him, he loses a bit of himself with each broken branch. Yet somehow, he finds the strength and willingness to grow and give even more than before. All the while baring the scars left by the previous losses.
It's not easy to be around when he is raging. I want to fix it, make it whole for him. I can't. Never could. There were times in our journey that he could have made different choices, maybe grafted some of those branches back on to his tree if he had been willing to make those choices. He didn't. He stayed by my side.
I wish this sweet man wouldn't fear storms so deeply, not the ones in nature, but the ones in his life. I feel like he has finally weathered them all. There might still be an occasional strong wind, blustery moments, maybe even a crack of lightning.
He just has to remember that moments later the cool, sunny breezes will flow again. Bringing love, completion and happiness. The girl made the comment to him on Sunday when he'd voiced his regret for all the time lost with the eldest. She said she wasn't meant to come into your life until now. One or both of you had things that had to happen before she could find you. I agree. She is in his life now because it was time. Hurt and loss has calmed and strengthened him. He is now in the place and time to share his life with her.
When storms pass, the air is fresh, life is abundant. The energy is strong and clear. Life is truly the same.
This week promises to be filled with rain and storms. Neither Hubs or I are in the least bit worried. We've both learned to dance in the rain and it will be a week and weekend filled with plans and work towards a bright sunny love filled future.
Go on, go dance in the rain. Calm your spirit, wash away the stuff that is stopping you from looking for rainbows and wishing on their pot of gold.
Maybe your best ever! I Love you! 381+
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