shhhhh...

That's not your path, that is not the way you should go.  This is not the journey for you.  Do you ever hear those soft voices?  Do you listen or do you ignore them if you do?  I have always heard those soft voices in my head.  Too many times in life I have doubled down and run head first into those gates.  Willing to shatter them to bullheadedly have my way.  I didn't want to hear those soft voices.

Each time, it ended poorly.  I don't think I truly started hearing them until my world crashed down on me in 2002.  I fought like crazy, I knew better than the universe.  I knew better than all of the powers that existed.  I was going to have my way.  Period.

That year full of two's was a turning point for me.  A big one.  It was very late in that year, when broken, damaged and willing to give up, I finally chose to give in. I let the highest powers finally guide my life. I guess you have to hit that point, I guess when you are down as far as you have the ability to fall is the moment that you can finally learn to listen. 

I had to be humbled.  I had to be brought to my knees, literally. Once I gave up and stopped fighting, I was gifted with many things.  A new life, a loving husband, renewed health and a chance to find me.

Each year I have learned to be quieter to listen more carefully.

I am learning each day.  Today after work I decided I needed to walk.  It's been a rough week.  Full of challenges, full of things that a few years ago would have leveled me for a moment or two. I needed the beauty of nature, the healing power of the sunshine on my face and the joy that comes from simply being with the highest power.

I haven't mastered it, that is my current path.  Yet when I listen, when I follow where it leads me, I find greater joy in life.  It's the smallest things that fill my heart and soul with pure beauty.  I am trying to always follow where I am led.  Be it a walk in the park, into a conversation that needs to be had.  To a quiet dinner or movie with my sweet hubs, or even just a moment to unplug and create.

I am learning to find the paths that are meant for me.  As I was listening to my podcasts today and walking through those beautiful gardens I felt renewed.  It was talking about spending your time and energy on the good things and walking away from things not meant for you.  That life is supposed to be full of love, light, laughter and joy.  I could not agree more.

This journey is meant for me.  The sunshine, the peace, the steps, the food.  The time with my Hubs, my kids, my grand-kids, and my friends.  Frolicking with my sweet fur baby. And finding great peace and love in where my life is taking me. 

This is another year full of two's.  It's definitely going to be one that shapes and molds me...