|looking for beauty...|
Thought about ordering a pizza hours ago.
The drama and torture of trying to change all of my financial commitments, has worn me out!
My "new" bank... The one that came into my existence at 2 pm on a Friday afternoon, this Friday afternoon! Suddenly nothing I have works anymore. Our bank was bought out. I get it. I've received bits and pieces over the past few days. Nothing switched until today though. Suddenly, years of having a bank I loved vanished. The staff at our bank assured us this was an incredible change for us. I'm trying to trust they aren't lying. The act of totally switching would be overwhelmingly complicated.
And of course my car payment coincides with the whole change. But seems they don't answer their phones and their webpage is down. Makes it hard to insure they get their money. Stress... yeah thanks, I seriously do not need anymore right now.
All of this chaos is more "change" than I am up to right now.
It's been one of those weeks.
Evidently the kind of week that ends in a Friday night feast of Doritos and a delicate Vignoles from the Hermannhof Vineyards.
Probably going to feel strongly opposed to the combination tomorrow.
Tonight. Well tonight it works.
I'm considering a career change. I feel I should become a meteorologist. I want to be a local weather person. I want to be dead wrong most of the time and still get paid just for being cute or charming.
So many times in the past two weeks I've heard what a mild June we would have. The rains and thunderstorms that we expected each day, never found their way here. Instead it was brutally hot. 100 degrees showed on my car thermometer too many times. The humidity was so high that I am fairly certain my hair hasn't been dry all week. Even tonight as the "heat wave" moved east, and it was a balmy 96, its still sticky and warm.
I am not a mid-west native. I am sure every year from June - August/September that I do not even want to be a mid-west resident. I long for the cool ocean breezes that my sweet boy and his girl get to enjoy. I didn't understand the lack of air conditioners on the coast. Ours has been pumping it's heart out for months. Having been there a few times now, I get it. I miss it.
My body does not like heat. It's so painful for me. My muscles rebel. Tight, angry, cramping. Heat is my mortal enemy. I wasn't prepared this week.
It caught me off guard.
Tonight sipping my wine, I am plotting. I'm planning how to cut into my stress. Which this week has been extraordinarily high. How to handle the heat. How to cope. How to make my knee stop aching.
Pretty sure wine does not head up the list of treatment for any of those issues.
I'm equally sure that it is making it much easier to handle it all. I have friends that are going through so much more than I can comprehend. I need to figure out how to support them. How to be a better person. Especially when I am struggling so hard to take care of me.
The sweet Hubs loved me enough to bring me a special brunch yesterday, flowers in the afternoon and the most amazing chocolate. I know he worries, I feel bad that it causes him stress. I'm stronger than I feel. I need to show that more to him, so he isn't worrying so much.
|sorry didn't share... wow!|
I have items in my professional world that have stressed me to the brink of insanity. Things that are taking so much energy and stamina. Things I am not sure I really possess any longer. It's been too much lately.
I have several jobs that I cannot give away! Please don't tell me there are no jobs. Please spare me. The reality is that there are jobs. There are simply more people that want to avoid working. It doesn't suit them. I get it. Many days I would rather stay in my jammies and rest. I assure you my fibro would be so happy! But I stretch it out, take a hot shower and I get ready to face the day.
I have projects that simply feel bigger and stronger than I am. I know they aren't. But when you are battling your own realities... what isn't doesn't matter. It becomes real.
Well... I am going to go and enjoy my wine, rest and pray that tomorrow is less complicated, less stress filled and more importantly... cooler!
Here's to good wine and a wonderful weekend for all... rest.