Once in a lifetime...

I should be up in the dining room having breakfast with everyone else.  Instead, I am sitting here looking at the most beautiful view, reflecting and gathering my thoughts and strength for the day.

The fog is gently rising from the water's surface.  It's still and peaceful.  Every now and again a graceful, lone bird will dash swiftly past the balcony.  I am a lot like that.  I love people, but I am the lone bird.  I would love to be part of the pack, but I am usually the one just sitting off in the distance.  Enjoying those around me, listening and absorbing all I see and hear.  But my innate shyness has never really left me.  I do best in small intimate circles.

Last night, that wasn't an option.  I am still stunned and disbelieving.  I like being the wind beneath others wings... I believe I have told you before I am one odd "Leo"... as I never seek center stage.

If you've been reading my blog for a bit, you probably realize it's that time of year when all of our Y family of professionals descend on Trout Lodge for our annual retreat.  It's so breathtakingly beautiful, and there is always so much to bring you back to center, to inspire and motivate.  Yesterday was no exception.

After dinner last night came one of my favorite parts of the day... awards.  I love listening to all of the wonderful things that are being celebrated about each one of the recognized.  It fills my heart to cheer for them and know that I am surrounded by amazing, dedicated people.  Over the years I have received a few myself, I know how amazing that feeling of being recognized feels.

It was so uplifting to cheer for so many of the people that I work closely with, every one of them deserving and more!  Hubs was struggling a bit with the chairs, his leg is still weak and tender and he'd forgotten his pillow.  And I was a bit distracted when they'd started reading the final award.

The C.D. Banks award is the most coveted and cherished of all that are given.  To be part of the C.D. Banks recipients is an honor in the highest.  The family is small with only one recipient a year. It's also one where they leave you guessing as to who it is until the very last moment.

I listened last night with baited breath, I always do, prayerful for whomever they have selected.  Anxious to know who was incredible enough, that out of over 200 professional staff that single person had earned that honor.

I was looking around the room, trying to figure out who it describe.  My table mates kept turning around an looking at me, Hubs was saying it's you... And I was disagreeing with everyone. Focusing on Hubs who was in great pain, I was only slightly aware of the words.

It could have been anyone... then I heard "flood", "homeless"... wait... those words could pertain to me... but no... that was simply preposterous.  I barely remember the moments before they called my name.  I felt the air leave my lungs, my stomach had given birth to an entire field of monarch butterflies and I think I was slightly dizzy.

Me?  I had just been awarded the prestigious C.D. Banks award.  Me.

As I made my way up to the front, trying very hard not to trip over chairs or hubs can, willing my leg to not chose that moment to give out on me.  Ironically, the only table left open when we went to dinner was basically in front of the podium, I'd selected it completely oblivious. I was completely overwhelmed.  Completely lost in the moment.

And sobbing like a baby.  A BIG baby.  Wrapped in so many hugs, surrounded by people that I love and respect.  Completely unable to even think.

At some point it occurred to me that they were going to hand me a microphone and that there were around 200 people in that room around me.

Okay... so everyone that knows me, knows me and a microphone are the complete recipe for a disaster! Add tears of joy, disbelief and amazement and wow... it's an epic disaster!  I can't even remember what I said out loud, I am pretty sure I mumbled something about "She's correct, this is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do...", as softly, so softly "thank you..."  I was simply too overwhelmed.  I was so grateful that my hubs works for the Y and was there last night. I was so deeply blessed for all the hugs, I drew strength from each and every one.

My boss's words were uplifting, enlightening and amazing!  Her hugs even more so...

I guess I have arrived... I will bask in the moment for a bit longer... And then...

I have a building full of people to take care of, to love on and to encourage to be stronger and better.

I am blessed...