decisions can hurt...

Come on warm weather... my fingers and toes are simply over this blanket of white.  I had to do potty patrol this morning, and boy is it great fun in the snow.  Yes, that is serious sarcasm there. In case it wasn't obvious. 

I checked out yesterday, I didn't feel like doing a darn thing, so I didn't. I curled up in a quilt and played a game on my phone literally all day.  I can't remember the last time I did something like that.  In fact I am not sure I've done something like that in years, when healthy.  There was a time I would find a great book and do that, but I didn't even bother to find a book.  I just played hours worth of Mahjong.  I stopped to care for pups and a Hubs that came home sick to his stomach.  Other than that, it was a completely wasted day.  

Honestly, it was glorious!  

It also meant I had to play catch up a bit this morning.  Being well-rested, it didn't seem like much at all. 

My sweet Beau was outside with me, he is part husky I'm sure.  He could spend hours out there, if I would let him. He was monitoring all the other dogs in the neighborhood, responding with a slight woof or bark when it seemed appropriate.  He was trying to get his friend to the north to come out, he misses her.  He sat there and whimpered.  At first, I thought it was because his feet were getting cold.  As he kept standing up and looking that way, he would issue a single bark a "hey friend", then sit back down staring and whimpering.  

It broke my heart in more ways than I can explain.  My pups are incredibly loved and spoiled, I mean if you hadn't guessed that yet, and I made a mistake that I can't undo. 

play time

I agreed to welcome another dog into our pack during the hours her mom was working.  It wasn't easy at first, she was definitely NOT dog friendly, so we had to take is super slow.  But over the course of months she became integrated in our pack.  They would eat and drink out of the same bowls, at the same time.  They played, they went for walks, they napped together.  She was a part of their pack.  They would watch for her to come play every day, they would know if she was late. She only lives 3 houses away, they can see her outside during the day, every day.  

Her mom decided that she no longer needed to come play, that she was okay at home. I get it. 

no worries here!

Belle isn't as concerned, she likes being the queen without any competition.  Although she misses her play buddy, they have a similar energy level. She is much calmer and more loving without her here.  She's back to being large and in charge and doesn't have Piper telling her what to do.  Just the way she likes it. 

sissy makes a great pillow

what mama?

Beau seems to be grieving.  He is my friendly boy, the one that wants to be best buddies with everyone, dog or human - just no cats!  He talks to the pup in the house to the south (he's got a crush on her) and will play with her for hours if allowed.  He's even friendly with the pug next door.  Shoot, he made friends with the deer in the backyard.  He sits by the fence for hours (when I let him) watching, whining, calling.  

That is one of the reasons that I had been taking them hiking, to help them with the grieving process. The cold and deep snow has made that a bit of a struggle.  Thankfully warmer temperatures are heading our way and I can help him out a bit.  Yes, it was for his health, that phenobarbital is rough on the appetite, but he was struggling without Piper being here. 

"pack" being goofy

last pack walk

All that being said.  I will never do that to my babies again.  It wasn't fair.  She didn't die, they didn't move away.  These precious babies don't really have the ability to rationalize that play time is simply not needed any longer. I will never bring another dog to my home on a daily basis that isn't going to be here for good. 

They can process grief, they mourn when a part of the pack crosses the rainbow bridge, but that they understand.  When they just leave and they can see them, that is something they cannot process or understand evidently. 

It's not going to warm up until tomorrow, the snow is all packed and crunchy. I seriously struggled to walk the yard.  I will definitely not be taking them hiking with the ground like it is.  That is almost 200 lbs of dog strength, I need to be 100% sure I am stable footed and able to control them. Hopefully, the warmth coming in will provide us with more opportunities to walk soon. 

Thanks for listening to me... I think witnessing that tore my heart up more than I thought it would.  

nappy time - look at those teefers...

I guess it's time to get with it, finish up the few chores left and then decide if I want to longarm or piece today.  Anyone got a coin?  I'm calling heads...

take care, 

b