That doesn't mean I haven't been busy, I have. Just a different busy. I prepped the vanilla I gave to my friends and started a new jar. I gathered all of my oregano to allow me to make oregano oil, my farmacy needed that added to it, we are sneaking up on cold and flu season (it never went away, but definitely sneaks in hard during the colder months).
I am learning so much about natural cures and the uses of herbs and plants to improve ones health. I still need to get hold of some mullein seeds, but I can't plant them until spring, so I am not overly concerned about sourcing them right now. Yesterday I started my garlic and olive oil, it will need at least a month or so before it will be of value to us. I figured I'd better get at least a small jar started. I need to find a good local source for raw honey before I make a huge batch, the only honey I had was from the Amish market and that was definitely not within our 50 mile radius to provide the most benefit. I'd love to have my own bees, but my allergy is a definite deterrent. That and Belle would kill them all.
I will work on other projects today, the sweet potatoes, squash, and apples can all wait for a few days. I really need to exercise more common sense, I just get in a mode that I am going to tackle a project and go for it. Not always a wise choice on my part, but I do get so much accomplished when I am motivated to do it.
Last night while regretting my earlier life choices of the day, I spent time scrolling through different social media outlets, reading and resting my weary body. A song I love kept flashing in bits and pieces through my mind, my husband calls it an ear worm. "For such a time as this". I know I have spoken of it before, it really speaks my my heart and soul. It's so powerful for me. While scrolling last night I found the verse Esther 4:14 on each platform in some form or another.
The question posed that really hit me hard was "what if you truly were born for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14. I immediately had to read the entire verse. The connections were too strong, I felt as though I was personally being given my directions. Whenever I become stressed or feel lost it seems like it pops into my mind. As I said, the song has been super powerful for me for as far back as I can remember. I'd never heard it referred to as Esther's song until today when I looked it up to finally listen to it, to complete the circle in my head. Again... it feels like I need to dive deeper into this book.
I tend to live my life in what many would deem an odd manner. When I feel led to do something, I do it, I rarely ignore the feelings and truthfully, when I do, I usually end up regretting that decision. As I was saying my morning prayers and focusing on hearing that inner voice there was a powerful draw to write this morning and to also start focusing on what is important to me.
I've never really felt like I belong in this time, I have always been that person that is forever out of time. I will never be modern, hip or cool. For all I know those terms are not even modern any longer. I walk to a different beat, I am lost in a time that most have forgotten or left in their dust. I struggled hard with that when I was younger, I so wanted to be part of the "in crowd", it was lonely where I was. I just never managed to pull it off.
Here I am now, well into (okay rapidly leaving) my fifties and I finally feel like I am in the right place at the right time. I can't explain it, I don't understand it. It just is.
This morning, I gathered my oregano leaves and prepared them to make my oil of oregano. As I stood there picking those incredibly tiny leaves I was simply filled with peace. I no longer care if people accept me for who I am, the ones that do are part of my tribe, the ones that don't... well sorry, they don't matter.
I live in a bubble that is different, but the fact that it is different doesn't make it bad. I was listening to a podcast from someone I used to value greatly, but I am finding myself pushing back against what he says to a degree that makes it difficult to listen to him. He is a homesteader, I love listening to different homesteaders they are more like my tribe than most others.
He's definitely shifted to prepper, I am not a prepper, I am someone that is taking care of my family in a very old fashioned way. A way that resonates in my soul. Today he was talking about what would you do if someone came to your home that hadn't helped with anything, didn't plan to help with anything, but wanted food and shelter. He said he would turn them away. My very being pushed back against that.
I don't know what is going to happen in our world, but I am fairly certain that things are going to get darker and harder. I also know that there are many in this time that lack a great many skills and even the work ethic to survive without all of our modern conveniences. I personally feel it has been uneducated out of us.
I know quite a few that will wallow in pity, not being able to find their way forward. I know many people that will struggle with any kind of hardships, sadly I don't know that all of them would survive anything truly traumatic. I know that I will do my level best to teach, help and give to any and all that need my help. Would I be frustrated? Heck yeah. But the truth is those very types of people frustrate me now. We all know at least a few that put forth the minimum effort knowing that someone is going to pull them out of their own muck and mire.
Sadly, I don't believe I will be listening to that content creator again, he has great things homestead related, but I felt ugly listening to him. I felt a hardness that isn't mine. I don't know what I am here for, do any of us? But I know it isn't to be hard and unloving.
Well, I am sure I've gone down a rather strange rabbit hole for some today. I will never stop living my true self (it took me too long to finally be strong enough to do so) and that path isn't straight and it always has loops and u-turns. Yet each day, I feel far more comfortable in knowing that I am here for such a time as this. Time to get lost in Esther's story, time to learn what I am meant to know.
love and prayers...
Good one! 381+
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