Every time I feel my lowest, I am reminded there are some truly amazing people in my tribe of life. I was feeling crushed the other day. My faith in humanity low, my heart throbbing with the pain of lies and deceit. I sat in the silence pouring out my heart and fighting my way through it all.
Within hours my eclectic tribe of people. The ones that make my heart feel whole and full started reaching out to me. Checking in, asking how they could support and if I simply needed a hug. The power of that is amazing!
In the five days since, I have had people in my life lift me up, give me the hugs and understanding that I've needed. I might have freaked a few of them out when I carelessly shared where my heart and feelings were leading me. I am not going to do what I was thinking. At least not yet. I am not to that part of my journey.
I haven't had all the conversations that I need to. I sort of had the important one, but the thing I have realized is that it isn't a conversation if only one person is ready to have it. It's a lecture.
Instead, I have stepped a few steps back. I've taken more than my share of deep breaths. And I am working on bringing focus, light and clarity to my world.
I should have finished the needlepoint I am working on. But I needed something far more active. So I've been creating soaps in between the stitches. I've been focused on finding my happy place. And realizing that it's okay to say no to some things.
I've sat and enjoyed Bloody Mary's with friends. Chatted on the phone and sunk soap balls while talking about the important things in life. You know things like hopes, dreams and goals. Things like trusting your heart and following your natural intuition. And do you think that soap colorant will really stay that orange the answer to that appears to be a resounding YES! (I'll know for sure once it finishes curing.)
Hubs and I have had some meaningful conversations too. This year of loss hasn't ended yet, with another person losing their spouse the other day. I think that one might have shaken my sweet Hubs to his core. I mean to be talking to someone one day and find out they suddenly lost their wife of decades the next, particularly in this year of heartbreak and loss.
I was recently told I needed to immerse myself in music. I wasn't sure about that, as I am as tone deaf as they come. But as I am opening myself up to different ways of thinking and receiving messages and thoughts in my world, I've also noticed a wide assortment of opportunities to experience music on a deeper level. I was considering going to a Gong Bath this coming weekend. But as I am still on call at the same time, I feel I would struggle with immersing myself in anything except for fear of being called into work. After chatting with one of the people that fills my world with so much light and energy last night she might have found the solution for me. It's the following Sunday, after my kiddo's head off on their grand adventure. I feel I will be signing up.
This new journey is centering me. My tribe is lifting me, I hope that I am doing the same for them. I have so many friends and family that are journeying through similar perils. I am finding the silence is helping. I am simply trying to be there and support them also.
Time is ticking away this morning. The small chores that make me feel either accomplished or a total failure are done. The loss of sleep was okay as it allowed me to start this morning feeling like I am already at the top of my game. Small blessings.
I hope everyone has a wonderful week. That hopes, dreams and happiness are on your calendar. We tend to fill up our lives with far too much actual garbage and forget the important stuff. So while we are living our dash, make it count. Find your own tribe that will lift you and love you... that is where the magic happens.
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