I need a break!

It's been a long day...

My little old guy is in pain.  For some reason one of his joints is very swollen.  I will take him to the vet in the morning, pray that it is minor.

I hate seeing him suffer.  It breaks my heart into a million pieces.  He's so low to the ground that lifting it and hobbling on 3 legs isn't really an option.  I know it's aching him, he's sat in my lap all day, wanting it gently rubbed.  I am concerned that he pulled something when he was running around Friday.  You would have thought he was a puppy, not pushing 15.

He'd met me at the door bouncing and wagging everything he could possibly wag!  He's been super playful all week, I even caught him with a toy (this never happens) twice.

But yesterday morning it was a tad swollen, and by the time we came home from Mardi Gras with the girl and her group of friends, it was huge!  Poor baby.

I was up most of the night, worried about him, stressed, looking for him.

He'd finally gotten comfortable on the floor and was sleeping really sound.  I didn't sleep good, worried that I would find him gone, I do that a lot. The way he was laying, stopped my heart.  In the darkness I couldn't see if he was breathing, and when I called his name he didn't respond.  I laid down on the floor beside him. Panic trying to over take me.  Gently placing my hand on his side, praying.  I felt nothing. I am fairly sure I stopped breathing myself.  Then he growled.  Seems he was in a deep sleep and I'd startled him.

I let him go back to sleep.  I tried to do the same.

I know that he's old.  I know that he is sick.  I am simply not ready to let him go.  He's been my baby since 2004, when we rescued him.  Or he rescued us, I'm not sure which way that went.

He's surly and sweet.  There are times that little grouch totally makes me cranky and others that I can't get enough of his sweet little ways.

Today he's needed his mom.  Today, I've sat with him on the couch, snuggled with him on the floor.  I needed the time with him too.

I just wish he wasn't feeling so low.  Neeko ran into him, knocking him over.  It had to be painful, but he didn't yelp.  He just hopped around with it held up looking at me to fix it.  And I can't. He's walking good. Just slow.  Seems to bother him most when he's trying to get up or jump.

This weekend has been such a mix of emotions and almost no sleep.  It's hard to sort it out.

I haven't managed to finish the laundry, but I am working on it.  I am cooking dinner right now and Gator just hobbled in to see if there were any morsels that he was missing out on.

Tomorrow starts a long stretch of work days.  And more worry about the little old guy.

I have therapy in the morning, and I am afraid to jinx myself, but whatever changed on Wednesday, seems to have been a change for the better.  It is barely hurting at all.  Maybe I dodged that surgery bullet after all.  I am hopeful! The therapist has really been working hard to help me avoid it.  I appreciate it more than you can imagine.

Yesterday was full of fun, Mardi Gras with Hubs, my girl and her guy and two of their friends.  I don't normally like crowds and that really wasn't the exception.  We were lucky to be able to be at a private party. We could be inside enjoying the music and not being trampled. I've been the German Octoberfest and never encountered so many over the top drunk folks. YIKES!  But it was about seven hours of revelry in the middle of stress. I needed it.

Well... please say a prayer for my little old guy... I need to go feed the big old guy!