as planned...

Don't you love it when a plan goes kerplunk kerplewy? That is how I was feeling a few moments ago.  Pups woke me up super early so I've had plenty of time to get the inside chores completed.  My brilliant self decided that I should get busy and get the outside chores done so that I could dig back into the business of the day.  I have a lot to work on after all. 

A few minutes into things, I realized that simply wasn't going to happen.  The grass was so crazy wet that my feet are literally soaking wet and for a change I am actually wearing shoes and socks.  Since I have to wait I decided to wrap up the great potato experiment of 20203.  I still had two bags to harvest. I learned a lot, definitely didn't harvest a ton of potatoes, basically two meals worth.  I think I got lazy and put far too many starts in each grow bag.  Shame on me.  I also learned that I am not so sure I want to grow potatoes, although I now know that if things get crazy, I can. 

judgy much?

I'm almost finished sifting through the dirt and will add in some coffee grounds, egg shells and epsom salt and plant the beets that I am trying this year. Fall planting is definitely underway.  The rain in July and the first few weeks of this month have stressed the tomatoes and most of the original plants are starting to finish up.  This weekend I hope to get the garlic bulbs that I am going to plant for the spring harvest.  So many new experiments in gardening.

As I was out there pruning and praying, I found myself thanking God for the blessing of the squirrels.  I can't believe I even just said that, but it's true.  I have about 6 new tomato plants that are growing like crazy, they are already starting to flower and will soon put out tomatoes.  I have no idea what kind they are, so it will be a surprise, but we will be blessed with more fresh from the garden tomatoes to grace our meals this year. 

As I was praising the blessing, I was pondering how many times God steps in and meets our needs. We don't see him working, we don't necessarily even know we have that need, and yet he steps in.  I definitely do not have the ability to feed a family out of my little garden. Shoot I will never even can from it, except for a few jars of jalapeno's or jalapeno jelly.  But all together the veggies have contributed to months of fresh, healthy food that we know what was used in it's production.  We know when it was harvested and how it meets our needs. Before I started dehydrating our tomatoes we were even sharing those with friends. 

God might not give us everything we want.  But the needs... are bountiful. Just yesterday I was telling Hubs to be a bit careful in the budget, my trip had dipped into our funds and we didn't want to make ourselves short.  Especially given that almost every utility had increased in the past month or so. God heard our concerns because when we checked the mail yesterday a refund check we had forgotten about showed up.  

sunbathing pup

How many times do we get wrapped up in the unnecessary and feel overwhelmed?  How often do we worry about needs, feeling humbled and lacking?  It isn't even always with finances.  Although I know many that are struggling. Sometimes it's in relationships or health.  It might be a feeling of being less than or struggling with depression, feeling overwhelmed with work, home, school, oh the list could be endless.  There are simply so many times that we have to make a choice between letting satan steal our joy, taking the blessings that are abundant and twisting it into a sense of lack. Mark 4:15 describes that so clearly.

Our words are powerful.  So is our self-talk.  I find in the silence I am finding wonders that I never knew were there. 

If the grass hadn't been wet, I wouldn't have had time to sit for a few and type, I wouldn't have harvested the potatoes today because I was weary. The changing of plans allowed me to space things a bit more, so that my body wasn't sore from the tasks at hand.  The day promises to be pleasant, so holding out for a bit isn't going to be horrible or cause heat exhaustion.  I am working on finding the blessings in everything. 

I find Hubs and I are both shifting into something bigger than us, we are both finding peace and joy in this transition.  By surrendering, we are finding something that has truly been just out of reach. We are spending more time stepping out of the secular world. More time in the Bible, in his word. As we lean harder into God and his word, we are both leaving so much man made doctrine, drama and destruction behind.  The feelings are indescribable. 

Well... I am getting cozy in this chair and could waste away the day, but the grass is needing mowed, there are a few random weeds in the flower beds and time is precious.  One more sip of hot coffee and I am back to work. 

love and prayers, b

coming home...

It is wonderful to travel, to be part of family events and enjoy your loved ones, even if it is a quick trip that only lasts a couple of nights. As I slid into my own comfy bed and pulled my weighted blanket up, just where I like it, I couldn't help but feel peace. Our trip to Arkansas was a fast one.  My baby sister is a care giver and needed to be able to get back and take care of her people.  It's all good.  At least we were able to celebrate with family for a moment. 

Sadly, families are often separated by great distances, time together is fleeting and often rare.  Each of us busy in our own bubbles, living our lives to the best of our abilities. For a moment as I was pondering where that thought would lead, I started to stay unlike in times past.  But truthfully, when you really think about it, families have always separated.  If they hadn't countries wouldn't have been discovered, migration would never have happened, shoot go back to the Bible, or further, folks have always been moving and changing.  It's simply life.

As I jumped back into the doings yesterday, it occurred to me that I have one month from tomorrow before my craft event.  I needed to stop being frozen by fear and really start working.  I dug around in the garage and pulled out the old fan blades, I still have a few that I need to strip the hardware off of so that I can clean, sand and paint them.  I have seven of them in progress at this moment.  Need to wrap those up first.  I simply ran out of counter space.  This morning I need to pull out the saw and do a bit of cutting, I am using up some old scraps of wood to make stems and hat brims.  

work in progress...

work in progress...

Waste not, want not.  

I also found myself stitching for a bit while watching a bit of television with my sweet hubs as we wrapped up the day.  Almost have another hat finished and ready to tag.  

It made me smile yesterday and today when my sweet hubs woke me with a cup of amazing coffee and asked if I was going to be working today.  He was being so supportive and sweet.  He knows that I work hard taking care of him, the pups and our suburban homestead.  It was his way of acknowledging my creative side, of supporting my dreams.  

Beau definitely disapproved of mom being gone

While I was in Arkansas, instead of relaxing and taking in a couple of movies and a few hours at the cigar lounge like he had planned, he spent his time making things easier for me. He cleaned up the cantry and added another set of shelves.  He rearranged the man cave and my work space to give me better access in a way that didn't cause me pain.  He cleaned up the entire house so I didn't have to worry about it when I got home. 

work room improvements

there is a middle shelf now

He started to put a light that he had gotten me into my sewing studio, as I had voiced a concern with how dark it was on the one side of the room. One step into the mayhem in there and he walked right back out, terrified of moving something, knowing that while it looks like a chaotic mess at the moment I know where everything I am working on is.  To be fair, I walked in yesterday morning because he was hoping to finish his honey do list and put it where it needed to go and even I turned around and said not today.  Sometimes, you have to honor your limits.  We both respected that. 

After all of that, he even got 11 clocks made for the event.  I am fairly positive he didn't get much rest in, I am equally positive that I appreciated all of that effort more than he could even imagine.  

I was catching up on the garden a bit yesterday and today, harvesting, cleaning, getting ready to plant a fall garden.  I think I am finally going to jump in and plant garlic.  It's been on the list forever, just never felt confident enough to try it.  Tomorrow I think I will harvest what is left of the potatoes, today was the green beans.  They are pretty much spent. All the rain of the past two weeks has definitely stressed some of the garden to the point that harvest season is just about over.  

We all know how sad it makes me to see the garden fading away each year.  Today I will slice up a few more of the masses of tomatoes and get them in the dehydrator.  We've discovered they are amazing as a veggie chip and that way there is no waste. I am also going to use the last of the green beans and add them to a mixture of veggies and make up a huge pot of veggie soup.  I'll can most of it, so that in the cold of winter we can remember the flavors of summer.  

I also harvested a fairly large amount of jalapeno's.  Not enough for cowboy candy, but definitely enough to make up a batch of jalapeno jelly.  And I am starting to run low on that.  The colors and flavors will pop, it will taste great and look so pretty.   

do you see him?

I don't know if you can see my little friend from the garden, this year has been full of surprises, including the baby copperhead snake I almost ran over while mowing last week.  This had to have been the biggest dragonfly I have ever encountered.  Easily the size of my palm. The green bean hanging beside him is over 5 inches long.  He was resting in my green beans as I reached in to harvest.  I'm not sure which of us was more startled. 

Belle deciding sitting on the humans
is okay...

Well, as much as I am enjoying sitting here being lazy, I am also deeply enjoying being back in my space working on all of my projects, taking care of our home and garden.  I love to travel, to visit, to savor the moments.  I equally love to come home again...

listening to the rain...

Anyone else struggling to sleep?  Or rather stay asleep?  These super early mornings are making me a touch weary.  I feel like I should celebrate not waking until almost 3:45 am, for me lately that has become sleeping in.  I guess my head is swirling.  So many things going on, so much that I am wanting to be a part of or have committed to doing.  I admit that I definitely do not know how I functioned before leaving the "real" world behind. 

This morning the rolling thunder woke up Belle, she might pretend to be a tough pup, but she frightens just as easily as her marshmallow brother. The bangs and booms were definitely not to her liking at all.  It's all good, I sat and enjoyed the thunder and lightening and even went for a super early ride with the Hub to look at the lot at one of his buildings.  The storm was beautiful through the windshield. 

I guess I am becoming one of "those old folks", as more than once as the rain fell heavy I caught myself saying to Hubs... well it's a good thing, we have definitely needed it. The pups on the other hand simply weren't feeling it.  They wanted to have their faces in the wind as we drove.  Silly babies, love swimming in the river, you can barely get them out of the water, but heaven forbid rain, showers, water sprinklers think they are touching them.  

 Belle, are you making up for lost sleep?

Waking up so early definitely gives me a few more hours in the day for a broad assortment of things.  Mostly for spending a bit more time in prayer. Who knows maybe that is the reason that sleep is hard to find lately. Maybe I am being led to spend more time reading the Bible and studying?  It sure feels like it. 

This morning I couldn't spend time in the garden, far too soggy.  So I finished up my Christmas/Cinnamon Pickles.  For the record, they are fantastic and definitely addictive.  Hubs tasted one late yesterday and immediately smiled and said his gramma used to make them. The memory popped into his head so quickly at the flavor.  The look on his face when I handed him a bright red pickle to taste was priceless and if I hadn't been busy at the time I would have snapped a picture.  You would have thought I was handing him a live lobster to taste. Geez! Where is the trust?

14 pints of Christmas Pickles

My calendar is clear until Bible study tonight.  I will heading to the crafting areas and to get busy, can't work outside, focus on inside.  I have a few sewing projects I am working on and I have a few crafting projects to work on.  Pretty sure I won't be bored at all today, even if I am not going to be playing in the garden. I find when I keep busy, I don't get so tired from the odd hours I've been sleeping.  

I should can up the potatoes, but... I am not really excited about peeling all of them today, so fairly certain that isn't going to happen.  Besides, I am going to make a beef stew and I'm not so sure how many of them I will use for that.  I have so much I have harvested from the garden that I don't want to waste and I love having it on the shelf to grab on those nights I simply don't want to cook.  We are rapidly moving back into soup and stew weather, the time to prepare is now.  

It's even lovely in the rain...

This balancing act I have stuck myself in the middle of is a bit precarious.  I just keep reminding myself, that these are all conscious choices that I made.  And frankly, I am in a bubble of pure joy, so please don't think it is complaining at all.  I cherish being a home maker and all that it entails. 

In my circle of friends there are many struggling with things right now.  From health, to careers, to relationships, to finances and fears.  Some are dealing with issues that feel far greater than they can deal with alone.  I've been there.  Pretty sure we all have.  Life is not easy, sometimes the struggle can be overwhelming.

Might I suggest Psalms 46. None of us are ever alone, unless we choose to be. We always have God with us. I am finding so much calm and peace in many different verses, in my faith that in putting on the armor of God, I am safe, secure and protected.  It doesn't mean bad things won't happen.  It means that I have the weapons to weather the storms they may bring.  

I also find much peace in knowing that I am surrounded by an army of family and friends, many of whom I know I can lean into at a moments notice.  And I will know that they are praying for me and supporting me.  I try to always be that person for others. If you ever need me to pray for you, know that you simply need to ask.  

Well speaking of storms... it's time for me to get busy that craft show is rapidly sneaking up on me. And I need to address some paperwork for damage to the roof and my chimney cap before it is time to let my creative side loose in the playrooms...  

love and prayers...

time in the garden...

I guess I could complain like everyone seems to be doing about the heat.  I am definitely not a fan of hot weather. Instead I am choosing to be grateful.  I am thankful for the air conditioning and the fans that keep our house nice and cool.  I am sure that it definitely does help my gratefulness.  If I were hot non-stop, I think I might struggle with gratitude.  

Instead, I can wander out into my treetop garden and celebrate the fact that the heat is creating the need to harvest several times a day. I am able to keep my dehydrator filled and running almost non-stop right now.  The cayenne peppers are bountiful this year and each time I walk outside it seems like more of them are vibrant red.  This is the first year that I have had more than five or six to last throughout the year.

I'm trying out something new with the abundance of cherry tomatoes.  I've sliced them at a quarter inch and sprinkled them with the garlic salt, made from the scapes. They are in the dehydrator now, if all goes well, they will dry and become a slightly chewy chip. Fingers crossed. And if they aren't something we like as a snack, they are definitely something I can toss into various recipes, just like the powder I made from the dehydrated tomato skins. 

I'm did most of my Monday chores yesterday, I have a lot going on this week.  I was given a couple of bags cucumbers and decided to make cinnamon pickles.  Sometimes known as Christmas pickles. I've never tried them, but when you have an entire sink full of slightly larger cucumbers you need to come up with some use for them. 

I didn't realize they took 5 days before coming to an actual canning stage.  Day two was the most labor intensive if you don't count peeling a sink full of cucumbers.  We won't be able to taste them until day 4 at the soonest.  Hopefully, I am not wasting an incredible amount of time and they are as delicious as everyone says they are.  After all, we were pretty darn happy with the pickled brussel sprouts, and they sure didn't sound all that good. 

Waste not, want not.  

when a squirrel does the planting 
they know nothing about spacing...

All of these blistery hot days are definitely paying off.  It looks like one of the squirrels decided to plant a few tomato plants for me.  I'm debating on what I am going to do with the little volunteer plants that have popped up. I definitely don't have enough bed space to let them all grow, although I absolutely despise pulling them and letting them die. I have no idea which ones are growing, although I am pretty sure that we have enough warm weather ahead for at least another harvest before this season ends. Based on where they are located I am guessing either a cherry tomato or a chocolate cherry tomato.  Both have produced wonderfully. 

cherry tomatoes

Hungarian sweet peppers

gypsy peppers

mini peppers

jalapenos... soon to be jelly

Hubs and I spent the late afternoon in the garden.  Cleaning it up, weeding, tying up tomatoes (did I mention that the tomatoes are going crazy this year?) pruning here and there all the little things that help it continue to produce so well.  I think I am going to fertilize today and plant a few more cow peas.  That should wrap it up.  

I have two more bags of potatoes to check on, they might even be ready to harvest.  Then it's time to decide what I am planting for fall in those bags.  Part of me wants more potatoes, but then I start to consider some beets.  I'm also getting ready to plant the fall lettuces again.  As the season starts to change there are more shaded areas where they will grow well.  Maybe some onions?  And I am waiting slightly impatiently to plant my garlic for next spring. 

The garden definitely consumed the greater part of yesterday.  It's all good, if it hadn't that would mean it isn't thriving. 

not sure why Belle thinks she's a fern...
or why she is in the planter...

Thankfully the weather has cooled a bit today, so it will not be so miserable when I head out to mow the grass.  After I finish the morning chores I will head up to the sewing room for a bit.  I didn't get much made this weekend and need to refocus myself. We headed to a few antique shops and found a few more feed sacks and vintage embroidery work.  My goal is to have 20 of the beautiful pin cushions made by Wednesday.  Shouldn't be hard.  Then I am going to mix it up a bit, I want to create thread catchers/pin cushions with them.  

I bought a very plain one at a quilt show not long ago and I am in LOVE.  I take it with me everywhere that I will be crafting.  It has completely changed my frustration level when doing hand work. I will make a small assortment of those before moving on to the next project.  I can't believe we are already moving into August. 

Tomorrow is the eldest daughter's birthday.  Mine will follow a few days later and then my beautiful grand daughter is two days later.   She and I will do something together to celebrate this year.  I am so thankful for that.  She growing up so fast that before long my sweet girl will be off living her own life and that day between birthday celebration will become the stuff memories are made of. 

I haven't forgotten about 2 Timothy 4:3-4, I'm simply still processing it.  It ties in so soundly with the message that pastor shared yesterday on John 9.  So many thoughts are swirling in my head and I need time to process, maybe ask a few questions.  I am finding the more I think I understand, the more I need to question, the more connections and truths I am finding.  Talk about sliding down rabbit holes. 

Well the sun is starting to rise, soon it will be time to take care of outside chores, so I'd better get busy and finish the inside one. Time is wasting... And I don't wish to waste the blessings from the father...

love and prayers... b

how does it grow...

This morning as I sat in the coolness of the garden with the pups around 430 am, I started to idly scrolling through social media, basically hoping to stay just awake enough for them to take care of business, but not so awake that I wouldn't fall back asleep.  

The first thing that popped up for me was a verse from the bible.  Ironically, it was not on a page noted for being "religious", more so for being holistic medicine.  I feel I was meant to see it, because this particular page hadn't been showing up for me lately... you know algorithms and such. 

It was 2 Timothy 4:3. "For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching.  But having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.  And will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths." Those words were written around 2000 years ago, give or take a couple of hundred.  Yet reading them this morning it was as if it was describing our world today.  Are we living in that coming time?

One of the pastors that I listen to almost daily often says the Bible is a living document and the reason we should spend time reading it is because of the revelation knowledge that will come to us. She says that we can read a verse many times and then one day that verse will make complete sense. 

Our pastor that renewed our vows for us last night often says the same thing basically.  And even last night as he shared 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and it's deeper meaning with us.  I felt the same resonance. So many fail to realize the deeper meaning and to steal his words use it as a Hallmark card moment.  It isn't a Hallmark card, it is the deeper love that can only come when you invite Jesus into each moment. 

The words are living.  The words are there. 

This morning as Hubs and I sat and enjoyed our coffee and puppies in our normal morning routine we talked about how special our renewal ceremony was to both of us.  In truth, I did not feel strongly one way or the other about the renewal.  I'd promised to love, honor and cherish him 20 years before, I didn't realize the impact renewing the action would have on my heart. 

This morning, I am very thankful that it was the one thing Hubs truly wanted to do.  How many of us married folk flippantly say "of course I'd marry you again" and of course you truly mean it. But do you realize the power of it?   I can't say that I really did.  

It was only 30 minutes total of our life, nothing much really, if you look at it like that.  But standing there in the stillness of the darkened sanctuary, with just us and our pastors surrounded by the love and blessing of our heavenly father... it was so powerful, so affirming, so renewing.  There aren't really words to encompass it, the description fails me. 

that smile though!

I know I had tears running down my cheeks as we shared our hearts, prayed for the strength and love in our marriage and that of others, we both giggled a bit when our pastor reminded us to answer in the affirmative (if not it was going to get really weird to quote PK), Hubs later shared that his knees were shaking a bit through the ceremony, and through it all we felt blessed. 

We finished the day enjoying a wonderful dinner at one of Hubs' favorite restaurants with the girl and her precious daughters, so perfect since she was unable to be at our first wedding. She believes, as do we, that time spent with family is far more important than any gifts that can be given. 

Today officially starts the first full day of our next 20 years, and Hubs is already making plans for our next renewal. 

Marriage takes work. 

Hubs and I were talking about that this morning.  It isn't so much work like manual labor, but for some I guess it could be. As I was caring for the garden this morning after he left for work, it occurred to me that caring for a marriage is a lot like caring for my garden.  

You have to constantly evaluate things, prune away and discard diseased or damaged branches.  Those simply suck the life out of the plant and it will cease to be fruitful.  If either of you have inadvertently hurt or damaged the marriage, it needs to be dealt with then tossed in the compost pile.  It doesn't mean it wasn't there, it simply means that it doesn't need to stay there forever and rot the entire thing.  Besides once it is addressed and tossed in the compost pile, several things happen the compost pile decomposes it and it becomes a rich nutrient filled soil so that the garden can continue to thrive for years to come. And the plant heals, grows stronger because the damage has been removed, it thrives and is more fruitful than ever. 

You also have to weed it, removing things that do not belong.  I pulled the start of a small tree out of the middle of pepper plant this morning.  It was deeply buried beneath the foliage and if I hadn't been harvesting I would have missed it. As it was it was already about 3 inches tall.  If I had left it, it would have eventually killed the pepper plant.  I might have had a tree of some kind, but I am growing peppers. A marriage isn't really all that different. There are things that pop up, that aren't exactly bad on their own, and in the correct environment, but they sure don't belong in the middle of your marriage. Well, let me amend that... Jesus belongs in the middle, just like the frame that holds up those heavily laden fruit filled branches. 

It takes commitment.  Every morning I water my garden, unless it's raining and then I take time to thank God for the extra hand in the garden.  How often do we not take time to water our marriages daily.  My sweet Hubs has been making my coffee every morning for over twenty years, well he's missed maybe .01% of the days... shoot probably less than that. I told him when we were first dating that the Bible says men should make the coffee (Hebrews - duh - oh yeah I'm a brat), he definitely took it to heart.  It's probably the littlest thing in the world, but to me it screams I love you. 

If I fail to nourish the garden it ceases to produce and goes into full blown survival mode.  Wilting, yellowing, dying.  I grow my garden in planters, the only nutrients they get come from me.  When I get wrapped up in other things I sometimes forget to feed them and I quickly notice. A marriage or relationship of any kind is the same way.  We are all kind of like pots, if we aren't given external nourishment, we falter and fail.  

It also means a lot less of self. How many times are we tempted to put our own lives, desires, hobbies, goals etc ahead of our husbands or wives?  All of us fall to that, again we are human after all.  Sometimes that movie, sewing project, work project gets us all wrapped up, we lose track of time, we fail to do what we promised.  Not out of meanness or neglect, we don't intend to ignore, but sometimes we do.  It takes work to return our focus to where it needs to be. If I ignore my garden and fail to give it the proper attention, it rapidly becomes out of control, weed filled and in this heat wilted and dying. Time has to be made to take care of it. 

Our marriage isn't perfect, we are imperfect human beings.  Sometimes we fail one another.  Sometimes we cause pain, even when we don't mean to. Both of us pray over the other and we have always invited God into the middle of everything, even when we might not have admitted it to each other. 

I'm thankful for our life.  I cherish our love.  Over two decades ago God led me to my dear sweet Hubs, I am going to continue to lean into God to continue to be the best wife and life partner that I can be.  I'm looking forward to the rest of this incredible story. 

a kiss to build a dream on...

I guess I never bounced back to 2 Timothy... somehow I got lost in remembering the beauty of yesterday. It's definitely a verse that I am going to be spending more time exploring and striving to "learn" from. 

For now... I am going to wrap this one up and get ready to go to the dentist... ugghhh.... 

love and prayers... b

time flies...

Twenty years... Some moments it feels like an instant, others time feels like it is eternal.  What a joy it has been.  About this time twenty years ago, I was getting ready to get up on a horse for the first time in my life.  Actually I was questioning my sanity.  Not about getting married, nope that was the one thing I was positive about.  But that horse thing... what was I thinking?  I'd never ridden one, wasn't in the best of health and here I decided I could just saddle up and away we'd go.

Twenty years ago it seemed like every one and their brother had a "warning" or a negative thought concerning our marriage.  We could not seem to please anyone and finally reached a point that we were simply going to please ourselves.  

Not every one could be there.  We missed them.  Even as we realized that their life choices were theirs and we could not keep rearranging our life around others. There were moments that it felt like we were having to make a deal with the devil just to have the youngest kids with us.  

We decided against a church wedding.  We'd both been married before, no sense in that, it seemed over the top and so very expensive.  As we thought and searched for the perfect place for us the Dinner Bell Ranch appeared. The memories of that trip and those moments are so clear, even though the number of pictures is so small.  Digital camera's were new, the photographer didn't mean to erase them all.  Thankfully, we have a few small ones.  Although, I don't need pictures to remember it at all. 

At the top of the ridge, overlooking the valley, terrified of getting off my horse for fear I would not get back on we exchanged our vows.  With the family that was able to make it, in the midst of nature we pledged our love and lives to one another.  

The ride up and down the hill terrified me.  I mean, I knew I was marrying an accomplished rider, I didn't realize that I would be holding on for dear life (at least in my mind that is how it felt) with my in season horse following his horse's every move. Mr. Smarty Pants loving being in the saddle again was not exactly sticking straight to the trail. When we finally returned to the bottom I wanted nothing more than to possibly kiss the ground.  It's been twenty years and I haven't gotten on a horse again.  I'm good. 

What an amazing journey it has been.  We've dealt with some harsh blows, always leaning into our love and our faith to see us through.  We've had adventures and chased dreams.  Always side by side.  We've faced tragedy, joy, births and deaths, we've faced the sickness and in health thing several times, through it all we've been holding hands and keeping one another's hearts safe from harm. 

All those naysayers... well, they sure got it wrong.  Yep, we are as different as night and day and yet we are also the same in many, many ways.  He's far more outgoing than I am.  He has a wicked sense of humor and never fails to remind me of it.  He's the hopeless romantic, never ceasing to surprise me.  He is the dreamer.  I'm the pragmatic one.  Happiest in my tiny circle.  I have been accused of having no sense of humor, yet somehow I still manage to make him laugh at the darnedest times.  I live in the now, feet firmly to the ground.  And when I do actually do something romantic, I've been known to make tears run down his cheek (shhhh... don't tell him I told you that).

I rarely do things without my sweet Hubs, he rarely does them without me.  We are two halves of a whole and we truly love being together.  It works for us.  Sure we have moments we get frustrated or fired up, I mean we are human.  Whenever he says he wishes he'd married me decades ago, I gently remind him we wouldn't have made it if that had happened.  

We both had to grow into the people that we became.  We both had rough edges to smooth and obstacles to face.  God knew when the time was right, because he's guided our steps and led us to where we are.  For everyone that said I wasn't his type... so true.  I wasn't that type.  Thank goodness, because I ended up being THE type.  

This afternoon, in a very private ceremony we will renew our vows.  This time it will be in a physical church, just us, our pastors and in the presence of God.  We will celebrate stepping into our next twenty years. 

I am so very blessed.  I married my own knight in shining armor, someone that protects me, provides for me, doesn't try to change me.  Someone that accepts the quirky, strange, flawed human that I am and loves me unconditionally.  I might not be a knight in shining armor, but I assure you I love, cherish, protect, honor and care for him just as strongly!  Although I still struggle with the obey part. 

I love this wonderful, silly, romantic man with all of my heart.  More today than I did twenty years ago, if that is possible.  Giggles, laughs, adventures, bumps and bruises all of it rolls up to make this an amazing life!  I mean who else is gifted black and blue toilet paper for their 20th wedding anniversary?  I mean besides this girl!

There will be no horses tonight.  We spent the morning in nature playing with our pups in a stream.  That is the closest we will get to recreating our wedding.  

There is a line from a country song that has always resonated for both of us, "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you". Both of us had traveled journeys to get to where we are, those journey's left wounds that neither of us expected to ever heal.  Now twenty years later, they are simply minor faded scars that do not have the ability to harm us, we have each other, the rest simply doesn't matter.

Thank you God for guiding me to him.  Thank you for your blessings... 

love and prayers... B

Give us this day...

It's so quiet in the house this morning.  Sweet Hubs had to be to work basically in the middle of the night.  There is a big project starting today, having been in the same line of work, I completely understand the insanity of the hours sometimes. It isn't an everyday occurrence, but there are times.  This month has had a lot of those times.  Mostly caused by the insane weather we have had this month.  It's been crazy.  Today is just a normal big project. 

I have been puttering in the silence taking care of my chores for the day.  That way I won't feel guilty when I head into one of the craft spaces.  I feel like today is going to be wrapped up in the sewing room.  I am not all together sure what inspired me to sign up for a craft show, when I have very little inventory made up... oh well, it's a done deal now, so time to hustle.  

Add that to it's harvest season and I am seriously questioning my own sanity.  This years' garden has been so very bountiful, that I cannot seem to keep up.  What an incredible challenge to have.  As I walk around harvesting and watering I thank God for such blessings.  I mean today alone our meals will contain roasted potatoes and peppers from the garden and steamed green beans.  There will also be salads of fresh tomatoes and cucumbers that are multiplying at a rate that seems impossible. 

Yup... that's a cuke I missed... Not sure what
to do with that...

Yesterday alone I harvested 8 cayenne peppers that are dehydrating as I type.  The beautiful plants are covered with peppers and each day yields more and more.  We use a lot of red pepper in our cooking, so who could possibly complain about something like that? A bit later today I will harvest a few more of the chamomile buds and also some white clover buds.  I am dehydrating those for a variety of purposes.  They make a wonderful cup of tea or I can put them in tinctures and oils for medicinal use. I haven't really started drying the herbs yet, although I really need to get organized.  And it's time to start planning and planting the fall garden. 

Yep... I might have been a touch crazy.  

The reason that I chose the name Waste Knot, Want Knot is because of the fact that I want the entire focus to be on upcycling, reusing, repurposing and using up what I already have, bits, pieces, scraps of this or that.  

Our great grandmothers and grandfathers survived several times in our country's history that were not bountiful or plentiful.  In fact the great depression destroyed many, it also brought forth some incredibly strong and creative people.  Ones that were able to not only survive, but thrive.  If you are here today, you probably have a healthy dose of that strength and ingenuity.  

Not all of us use that part of ourselves.  We've allowed society to create newer and better (that part is seriously questionable) things.  All in the name of making our lives easier. I'm not so sure it's made life easier.  In fact I would propose that it has made us slaves to a commercial system, one where we trade bits and pieces of our very souls in exchange for the next great thing.  

For years I have written about my own struggles with work/life balance.  Oddly, I work harder now than I ever did for someone else.  But the balance is 100% about living my best life. As that has evolved for me over the past two plus years I am even more inclined to think like my ancestors did.  

I don't know all of my family tree, but the parts I do know tell a story of strong people.  People that were survivors.  Some of the areas they settled in give new meaning to the phrase "dirt poor".  Then I follow those family lines, I realize that not only did they survive, they thrived and flourished.

Use it up, use it out, make it do or do without.  For years I have said that verse here in this blog as well as a personal mantra. Hubs and I are often tinkering on this or that, finding solutions that we didn't even know we had.  Now that I have the time, energy and my health has returned and is balanced I find myself being drawn more and more into using my imagination and skills.  There aren't really enough hours in the day for everything I dream of doing, probably some of the reason that my sleep has been spotty and disrupted.  

back of cherries

first one from old doily and feedsacks

Kitty embroidery and feedsacks

backing of kitty from practice quilting

Once I finally have enough inventory, I will figure out the next steps.  I'm focusing on having faith in the path that God is leading me down.  There are many sustainable solutions using the resources we already have available to us. Why do we feel compelled to buy new when something that already exists is heading for a landfill?

I just finished the third kid's jacket/vest that I upcycled, I enjoy stitching on them so much.  Especially during the evening hours sitting with Hubs and unwinding.  I am not someone that can sit still.  My hands just need to be engaged.  I might have been told too many times as a child that "idle hands are the devil's playground".  Who knows. What I do know is that when I am not busy doing something, I feel ill at ease and restless.  I'd rather feed that beast than deal with those feelings.  If you are ever at my house you will find many odds and ends that fill nooks and crannies, so that no matter where I find myself, I am always in a space of being able to be busy. 

Waste Knot, Want Knot will not have a common style to what you will find.  Sort of.  What it will have is an assortment of useful items created from things bound for waste.  This will cater to my need to change things up, I get bored doing the same things over and over, and also allow me to work with whatever I have acquired and have thought of a new use for.  Today might very well involve some old fan blades, the sewing room and I have a few projects for the crafting room as well.  I also have a few things that need to happen with my precious long arm.  See... I am coming up with far more than I have hours of the day to fill.  Such a beautiful gift to have. 

Well, I'd love to chat about my hopes and dreams for where all of this is going, the plan for it's future and all of that good stuff... but the clock is ticking today and I have a few more minor things to take care of before I can get busy.  I plan to take tomorrow off completely and spend it with my dear sweet Hubs and our pups.  We've had several ideas but we really aren't sure which path we will follow.  I mean, for us it is such a special day... 20 years... be still my heart.  

love and prayers...