Sunday, August 13, 2017

I'm tired....

It was a beautiful morning, somehow Mother Nature didn't get the memo that it is mid-August in the Mid-West.  The sheer fact that it is 75 and breezy in August is simply amazing! I was sitting outside trying to enjoy it, but those darn annual cicada's are making the noise level too much for me.


I'd love to be out on the motorcycle with hubs, savoring this wonderful day.  Unfortunately, our weekend didn't quite pan out as planned.

I worked yesterday, overseeing an overflowing class of eager instructors perfecting their skills on our QueenAx system.  I was expecting to participate due to low numbers.  But as more and more showed up, I willingly gave up my spot on the super functional.  For me it was a basic understanding and work out, for them, it was a chance to hone their skills and help them to really rock that program.  No brainer!


Today, the dedicated Hubs, is helping one of his maintenance technicians that is shy on staff change out every light in his gym and pool.  Seems the tech is as afraid of heights as I am.  So Hubs volunteered his day to help him out.

Truthfully, while I would love being out playing.  It's probably best that I'm not.  Work has been a little consuming lately and the house and yard have suffered greatly.


While outside I could hear the neighbor mowing her yard, reminding me that I need to take care of that. Finding a reliable yard care person has been a challenge. I do have some outside chores to address, but Hubs has loaned out the pressure washer to one of his branches and I don't want to paint the door and window frames until I can get them cleaned.  And those darn cicadas... That sound truly annoys me.


Instead, I decided to focus on the house, seems the Hubs is fond of clean clothes for work.  And maybe even catching up on my long neglected chores.  If I didn't have such a paranoia about strangers in my house, it might even be time to consider a house keeper.  Sadly, I know that there is no way on this planet that I would be comfortable with it.  I don't want people messing around in my house.

Instead, I will find the time to do it myself, or it can simply wait.

As I am resting from tackling this expanding to do list. Seems I might have added baking a loaf of German bread and cleaning out my cupboards to the list, quite unexpectedly.  I am reflecting on all the news that is blowing up my phone, my FaceBook and my newsfeeds.  I am sitting here in stunned awe over the amount of hatred this world is forming.

It appears to be oozing into every minute of every day.  I was trying to enjoy a peaceful day.  Not focusing on work.  Simply on being.  I thought about going to get a manicure, but frankly the act of putting on "going outside" clothes, just felt overwhelming today.

I chatted with my dear friend for a while and my baby sister.  I put veggie scraps out for the silly little box turtle that's been hanging out in the back yard. As I was doing my regular chores, I just kept thinking.

I can't bring myself to read the articles.  I don't even want to read the headlines.  I'm tired of the hatred. The anger that is spewing out of every corner.  There is not one ethnicity, gender, or religion that seems to truly be able to just live at peace with one another.

As a history buff, it disturbs me the amount of history that is being wiped out globally.  Not because it is especially meaningful to me.  Honestly, I haven't paid much attention to these various disputes, I don't have the time or energy.  What disturbs me, is that I am a firm believer that those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. In our rush to erase the painful past are we clearing the path for us to once again live out those very actions?

I don't like any groups that claim supremacy. None of us are of greater value than the next. And it fills my heart with great sadness when I hear of these terrifying events.  In each instance the hatred grows.

Then my heart screams out to know who or what is trying to desperately to separate us?  I only know of one race.  The human race.  Maybe being a 60's baby instilled in me the love thy neighbor gene? Maybe the day will come that my rose colored glasses don't look so odd.

I'm tired of the hatred. I'm tired of the destruction.  I'm tired of the death.  I'm tired of lies and deceit. I'm tired of all of it.

Does it cost so much to give each other hugs?  To be a listening ear? To listen and support another's struggle even if you don't understand it?  Is it truly so hard to be responsible for your own actions? And to be honest with ones self?

Did the young person that drove that car into those people truly feel they had no other recourse to express themselves?  Did the people protesting have to present their voice in such a manner?

When did we stop begin able to have a conversation?  When did we resort to being social media bullies, regardless of your side of things?  When did it become okay to throw away the golden rule? Do we even teach that to our children anymore? Do the adults need a refresher course?

There is saber rattling happening at the highest levels.  There are adults acting like school yard bullies in streets of our cities and towns.

The news is not longer "the NEWS" it's propaganda.  It's always someone telling what to believe. It doesn't matter what channel you turn on, there is some talking head, spewing some vitriol, directed at someone or something.

I haven't had the energy to leave my house today. I've needed to insulate myself from some of this. Take a moment and lose myself in the mundane and familiar.

I've been reading as much positive and light as I can squeeze into my world.

I'm tired of the news media.  I'm tired of the glory hounds that are feeding them.  I'm tired.

I want to pour a cup of coffee and sit with friends, new, old and yet to be.  Let's talk about the insanity.

I want to hug someone that needs a hug.  I want to provide a meal to someone that is lost.  I want to laugh with my family, friends and neighbors.

I can't possibly be the only one.

As I took care of my home, did small chores for my Hubs and I.  I wondered if all of these angry people took a moment to just care for another person as they would for themselves, would they be so angry?


I will say a prayer tonight.  I will ask my God to help me be a better, stronger, more loving person. Someone that respects and celebrates our differences.  Because even though our DNA intersects far more than most people will ever admit, we are all different.  Even in our own families. Those very differences are what makes it such a wonderful world.

I'm going to go walk my boys, finish my chores and avoid anymore news.  I can't take it right now. Right now, I want to lose myself in the every day.  Maybe, we all need a bit less brain washing and a bit more connecting to nature and the ordinary.

Looking for peace and love...